Post your corny jokes - Page 1456

**bfg9000** · April 30th, 2019, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effCup

Surely you don't need the excuse of a CPR class in order to give your boyfriend a blowjob?

Betcha I could get my dead ex girlfriend to do it.

**effCup** · April 30th, 2019, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bfg9000

Betcha I could get my dead ex girlfriend to do it.

Pre- or post-mortem?

I s'pose zombie sex is a thing... but is it the same as necrophilia?

**Mister Fide** · May 1st, 2019, 05:15 AM

Whenever I take my dog Stay to the park he gets confused.
I throw a stick and shout 'Fetch Stay!
or
shout 'Come here Stay.'

**Sir Honkers** · May 1st, 2019, 11:23 AM

Q: What does a subatomic duck say?
A: Quark

**trailmaster** · May 1st, 2019, 12:41 PM

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every day. One day he told her, "You have been with me through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were there. When we lost the house, you were there. When my health started failing, you were there. You know what?"

"What is it dear?" she asked.
He responded, "I think you bring me bad luck."

**seldomseen** · May 1st, 2019, 12:45 PM

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look! I’m about to change.

Estreeter · May 1st, 2019, 12:54 PM

**PJayBr** · May 1st, 2019, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Fide

Whenever I take my dog Stay to the park he gets confused.
I throw a stick and shout 'Fetch Stay!
or
shout 'Come here Stay.'

I've got a third dog called Go!!

**gedly** · May 1st, 2019, 06:27 PM

When my girlfriend sucks me off, I always wonder who is this Dr. Pepper she keeps mentioning?

MaxJoker · May 2nd, 2019, 06:18 PM

Already got my next new years resolution sorted ,

Going to stop using spray on deodorant ,

Roll on 2020 !.

May 1st, 2019, 12:45 PM	#14556
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 711,984 Times in 38,112 Posts	What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change. __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

May 1st, 2019, 12:54 PM	#14557
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,852 Times in 60,322 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 2nd, 2019, 06:18 PM	#14560
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Already got my next new years resolution sorted , Going to stop using spray on deodorant , Roll on 2020 !. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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May 1st, 2019, 05:15 AM	#14553
Mister Fide Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Nearly there Posts: 892 Thanks: 23,075 Thanked 17,987 Times in 890 Posts	Whenever I take my dog Stay to the park he gets confused. I throw a stick and shout 'Fetch Stay! or shout 'Come here Stay.'

May 1st, 2019, 11:23 AM	#14554
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,341 Thanks: 286,789 Thanked 386,194 Times in 30,298 Posts	Q: What does a subatomic duck say? A: Quark

May 1st, 2019, 12:41 PM	#14555
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,897 Thanks: 1,329,020 Thanked 707,212 Times in 60,071 Posts	A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every day. One day he told her, "You have been with me through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were there. When we lost the house, you were there. When my health started failing, you were there. You know what?" "What is it dear?" she asked. He responded, "I think you bring me bad luck."

May 1st, 2019, 06:27 PM	#14559
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,310 Times in 3,171 Posts	When my girlfriend sucks me off, I always wonder who is this Dr. Pepper she keeps mentioning?