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May 28th, 2018, 09:14 PM | #13391 |
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A hunchback goes to a bakery. The saleslady asks him what he wants. I would like to have a bread, answers the hunchback. At which the saleswoman says, first swallow the other one.
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May 31st, 2018, 04:42 AM | #13392 |
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A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard. “Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.”
James replied, “My wife loves this beard, I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!” “Oh, please?” the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice. “Really, I can’t” he replied, “My wife loves this beard!” The girlfriend asked once more and he sighed and finally gave in. That night, James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping. Wife woke up somewhat, felt his face, and replied, “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”
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May 31st, 2018, 05:05 PM | #13393 |
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The bartender asked a guy sitting at the bar: “What’ll you have?”
The guy answered: “A scotch, please.” The bartender handed him the drink and said: “That’ll be $5.” The guy said: “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.” A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, said to the bartender: “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.” The bartender was understandably unhappy, but said to the guy: “Okay, I’ll let you off this time, but don’t ever let me catch you in here again.” The next day, the same guy walked into the bar. The bartender said: “What the hell are you doing in here? I thought I told you to steer clear of this joint. I can’t believe you’ve got the never to come back.” The guy said innocently: “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life.” Fearing that he had made a mistake, the bartender backed down. “I’m very sorry,” he said, “but the likeness is uncanny. You must have a double.” The guy replied: “Thanks. Make it a scotch.”
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June 2nd, 2018, 10:08 AM | #13394 |
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In his battle with David, Goliath telegraphed his final move:
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June 2nd, 2018, 10:11 AM | #13395 |
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Have you ever heard jokes about German Sausage
They're the Wurst
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June 2nd, 2018, 10:19 AM | #13396 |
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Can You provide Links ?
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June 2nd, 2018, 10:50 AM | #13397 |
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I can provide less
This German bloke, Klaus hates mobile phones in cars and wanted as little info in it as possible so he would use it less in his car , so, he deleted his entire contacts list .... wanted it to be Hans free
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June 2nd, 2018, 05:21 PM | #13398 | |
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Quote:
"S O S"? No wonder he lost, that's not a good fight move.
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June 2nd, 2018, 05:37 PM | #13399 |
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Leastways He was local,He only lived a stones throw away..
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June 3rd, 2018, 04:06 AM | #13400 |
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Are all girls like this?
Got a new girlfriend last week but she has not spoken a word to me yet & it's annoying to have to pump her up each time I take her out of the box.
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