Is it just me - Page 5

**Wendigo** · March 24th, 2009, 02:45 PM

Me - Fish and chips twice please
Yoof - I heard you the first time.

I'll get me coat...................................

udcmm7 · April 1st, 2009, 05:34 PM

Found elsewhere, take the time to read it. Fucking hilarious:

There’s a new ‘girl’ just started working at our place. I’m out of the office most of the time, but I’ve been in all today, doing reports. She sits about ten feet away from me and has spent the whole fucking day on permanent send.

Just from sitting here for a few hours, I know more about her than I do about my mum. She’s been regurgitating every last detail of her deeply uninteresting life to her mate. Right now, she’s talking about the special shampoo she uses because she’s got ‘fine’ hair. Other subjects I’ve been unable to avoid listening to are.

Her forthcoming wedding to her childhood sweetheart
Her sore feet
Her love of the little Irish lad on X Factor
Her dad and how he left them when she was little
Her dislike of immigrants (not everyone, just the ones she meets or reads about)
Her expensive new glasses
Her wedding dress
Her swimsuit for the honeymoon
Her father-in-law’s bottomless pockets.
Her mother’s cure for verrucas
Her need to go to Sainsbury’s on the way home, including entire shopping list.

I’m not joking, she hasn’t stopped. She’s invented some new form of speech that allows her to carry on talking even when she inhales.
I wouldn’t mind all the stuff about the wedding, but (I’ve just had a quick look round to estimate) she must be knocking on for 16 stone. She’s a proper brute. The fucking sap that’s marrying her mustn’t have seen her yet. When she started going on about the swimsuit, I gagged in the same way I would have, had I received a full on post-battle-camp skiff from a leper. The worst thing is she’s doing that fat-bas-tard thing that all fat-bas-tards do. The girl who sits next to her offered her a Quality Street from a box that’s doing the rounds. You’d swear to fucking God it was Lena Zavaroni doing the talking.

“Oooh, no thanks. I’ll never fit into my wedding dress if I eat one of them”

Sorry, love, the damage is done. Have a fucking Quality Street. Thirty years of eating anything that walks past, like a fucking ant-lion, means that one sweet isn’t going to put a dent in your diet. She made a big deal of eating a solitary baked spud for lunch with no filling. Sorry again, love, the evidence is there. You might have had no filling today, but it’s apparent that all other times you’ve gone for the beans-coleslawy-tuna-wagon wheel-fudge-sugar option. And that’s why you’ve got sore fucking feet. Shoes weren’t meant for those fucking trotters, you rotter. And you’ve got fine hair, because your heart is using all it’s resources to keep shifting your pasta-sauce blood round your veins. There’s nothing left for extremities.

To give a bit of balance, the verruca stuff sounded interesting and apparently she’s a good administrator, mainly because she’s too fcuking fat and lazy to move away from her keyboard.

Does anyone else have to work with the delusional? You know the type. ‘Yeah, I’m off down the gym after work’ You nod, but you know that they wouldn’t even fit through the fucking door.

**TCO95** · April 3rd, 2009, 01:46 AM

Not sure what the root cause of general ignorance is but its spreading.

A new store opened close to where I work so we received the usual pre-opening flyers and such. In the package was a memo from the store manager with some of the following gaffs:

"All manager specials are in affect WEATHER I'm here or not!"
"Any problems will be dealt with by me, myself, personally ..."

There were others as well, including numerous spelling mistakes. The human resource manager had a laughing fit when she read the memo while other people had to have the mistakes pointed out. Interesting or sad?

**BigBucket** · April 3rd, 2009, 08:48 AM

People who use trendy pronunciations of words and not the proper way.

Newsreaders especially fall foul of this. The worst culprits of all are people who say Pl-arse-tic! It's fucking Pl-ASS-tic! Always has been pl'ass'tic allways will be pl'ass'tic.

Plarsetic my arse...

MaxJoker · April 3rd, 2009, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBucket

People who use trendy pronunciations of words and not the proper way.
Newsreaders especially fall foul of this. The worst culprits of all are people who say Pl-arse-tic! It's fucking Pl-ASS-tic! Always has been pl'ass'tic allways will be pl'ass'tic.

Plarsetic my arse...

Also those self same newsreaders who end their many brief talking segments with a super quick "Thank you very much indeed " to whoever it was they were pretending to listen to while reading from the question paper.

Five Live's Peter Allen is the worst and has been heard once (By me) saying it twice in a way best translated as really meaning "Shut the f##k up now pleb you`re not left wing enough so i don`t care"

Plus the snobby sod rides a bike on the pavement !

**Wendigo** · April 3rd, 2009, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenSkull

Also those self same newsreaders who end their many brief talking segments with a super quick "Thank you very much indeed " to whoever it was they were pretending to listen to while reading from the question paper.

And these type of conversations get my goat.
Mr. Big - "And over to our Education correspondent Tim. Tim this has to be seen as bad news doesn't it Tim."
Tim - Well my contacts tell me this will not be good news.
Mr. Big - They will have to check the figures closely.
Tim - yes they are going through all the figures now.
Mr. Big - Thanks for that Tim, now onto the weather.

Say What!

**billybunter** · April 3rd, 2009, 03:39 PM

Shane Richie is a cunt! He couldn't shine George cole or Dennis Waterman's boots.

**tabler** · April 3rd, 2009, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybunter

Shane Richie is a cunt! He couldn't shine George cole or Dennis Waterman's boots.

Dont mince your words man, say what you mean

**tabler** · April 3rd, 2009, 03:46 PM

Is it just me or is this turning into a 'thing that annoys you most' thread'

MaxJoker · April 3rd, 2009, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tabler

Is it just me or is this turning into a 'thing that annoys you most' thread'

Naaaaaaaah it`s just you

Although fair comment as this is the correct home for "Naming and shaming "

http://www.vintage-erotica-forum.com...dont-like.html

Now then what was this thread specifically about again

Is it just me ...

Or are mobile phones getting ever more complicated ? , i mean who needs half the things they pack into it ?.

All i bloody want from my phone is a battery that lasts longer than a day , a strong signal and some decent memory space !

April 1st, 2009, 05:34 PM	#42
udcmm7 Blocked! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: UK Posts: 1,618 Thanks: 3,420 Thanked 40,906 Times in 1,468 Posts	...Or can Fat Birds be Annyoing? Found elsewhere, take the time to read it. Fucking hilarious: There’s a new ‘girl’ just started working at our place. I’m out of the office most of the time, but I’ve been in all today, doing reports. She sits about ten feet away from me and has spent the whole fucking day on permanent send. Just from sitting here for a few hours, I know more about her than I do about my mum. She’s been regurgitating every last detail of her deeply uninteresting life to her mate. Right now, she’s talking about the special shampoo she uses because she’s got ‘fine’ hair. Other subjects I’ve been unable to avoid listening to are. Her forthcoming wedding to her childhood sweetheart Her sore feet Her love of the little Irish lad on X Factor Her dad and how he left them when she was little Her dislike of immigrants (not everyone, just the ones she meets or reads about) Her expensive new glasses Her wedding dress Her swimsuit for the honeymoon Her father-in-law’s bottomless pockets. Her mother’s cure for verrucas Her need to go to Sainsbury’s on the way home, including entire shopping list. I’m not joking, she hasn’t stopped. She’s invented some new form of speech that allows her to carry on talking even when she inhales. I wouldn’t mind all the stuff about the wedding, but (I’ve just had a quick look round to estimate) she must be knocking on for 16 stone. She’s a proper brute. The fucking sap that’s marrying her mustn’t have seen her yet. When she started going on about the swimsuit, I gagged in the same way I would have, had I received a full on post-battle-camp skiff from a leper. The worst thing is she’s doing that fat-bas-tard thing that all fat-bas-tards do. The girl who sits next to her offered her a Quality Street from a box that’s doing the rounds. You’d swear to fucking God it was Lena Zavaroni doing the talking. “Oooh, no thanks. I’ll never fit into my wedding dress if I eat one of them” Sorry, love, the damage is done. Have a fucking Quality Street. Thirty years of eating anything that walks past, like a fucking ant-lion, means that one sweet isn’t going to put a dent in your diet. She made a big deal of eating a solitary baked spud for lunch with no filling. Sorry again, love, the evidence is there. You might have had no filling today, but it’s apparent that all other times you’ve gone for the beans-coleslawy-tuna-wagon wheel-fudge-sugar option. And that’s why you’ve got sore fucking feet. Shoes weren’t meant for those fucking trotters, you rotter. And you’ve got fine hair, because your heart is using all it’s resources to keep shifting your pasta-sauce blood round your veins. There’s nothing left for extremities. To give a bit of balance, the verruca stuff sounded interesting and apparently she’s a good administrator, mainly because she’s too fcuking fat and lazy to move away from her keyboard. Does anyone else have to work with the delusional? You know the type. ‘Yeah, I’m off down the gym after work’ You nod, but you know that they wouldn’t even fit through the fucking door.

March 24th, 2009, 02:45 PM	#41
Wendigo Former Staff Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Blighty Posts: 113,893 Thanks: 259,993 Thanked 1,140,520 Times in 114,015 Posts	Me - Fish and chips twice please Yoof - I heard you the first time. I'll get me coat...................................

April 3rd, 2009, 01:46 AM	#43
TCO95 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: This member is not allowed in your country. Posts: 5,176 Thanks: 47,615 Thanked 64,810 Times in 5,130 Posts	Not sure what the root cause of general ignorance is but its spreading. A new store opened close to where I work so we received the usual pre-opening flyers and such. In the package was a memo from the store manager with some of the following gaffs: "All manager specials are in affect WEATHER I'm here or not!" "Any problems will be dealt with by me, myself, personally ..." There were others as well, including numerous spelling mistakes. The human resource manager had a laughing fit when she read the memo while other people had to have the mistakes pointed out. Interesting or sad?

April 3rd, 2009, 08:48 AM	#44
BigBucket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The United Kingdom of Oppressed Peoples. Posts: 783 Thanks: 5,453 Thanked 11,405 Times in 770 Posts	People who use trendy pronunciations of words and not the proper way. Newsreaders especially fall foul of this. The worst culprits of all are people who say Pl-arse-tic! It's fucking Pl-ASS-tic! Always has been pl'ass'tic allways will be pl'ass'tic. Plarsetic my arse...

April 3rd, 2009, 03:39 PM	#47
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,377 Times in 14,171 Posts	Shane Richie is a cunt! He couldn't shine George cole or Dennis Waterman's boots.

April 3rd, 2009, 03:46 PM	#49
tabler Comfortably Numb Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: St James Park Posts: 7,030 Thanks: 112,546 Thanked 146,059 Times in 8,009 Posts	Is it just me or is this turning into a 'thing that annoys you most' thread'