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Old 11-19-2016, 11:11 AM   #12081
Isegrim
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From "colonic irrigation" to "Eau de cologne" (not so far away as you might think ):

"Eau de cologne - a toilet water with a strong, characteristic scent, originally made in Cologne, Germany." ... in Cologne itself it's called "Kölsch" and is thought to be a beer ...

never tell this one in Cologne if you like to live ...
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Old 11-19-2016, 08:27 PM   #12082
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A man called his child's doctor, "Hello! My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."
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Old 11-20-2016, 05:49 PM   #12083
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Apparently my new book about poltergeists has been flying off the shelves.
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Old 11-20-2016, 10:06 PM   #12084
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Can insomnia ever be cured? I spent many sleepless nights dwelling upon that question.
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Old 11-20-2016, 10:33 PM   #12085
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As I dropped my kid off for his first day at high school, I said to him:
"Be positive."
"That's your blood type if things kick off."

-Frankie Boyle-
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Old 11-20-2016, 11:55 PM   #12086
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jafad View Post
Apparently my new book about poltergeists has been flying off the shelves.
My new book about anger management is all the rage.
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Old 11-20-2016, 11:58 PM   #12087
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My new book about building the perfect basement is a.... best cellar.

(I'm so very sorry, please don't ban me.)
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Old 11-21-2016, 12:13 AM   #12088
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I tried to write a book about sex, but I never published it. It was fucked.
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Old 11-21-2016, 01:32 PM   #12089
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When I see lovers' names carved in a tree. I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
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Old 11-21-2016, 02:41 PM   #12090
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery.
Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."
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