Post your corny jokes - Page 1262

**ball7** · August 13th, 2017, 06:52 PM

Tom Baker sued Dr. Pepper, for not being a real doctor.

MaxJoker · August 15th, 2017, 02:34 PM

Just burnt my Hawaiian pizza ,

Should've put it on Aloha temperature.

**gedly** · August 15th, 2017, 06:55 PM

**gmcbee** · August 15th, 2017, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Just burnt my Hawaiian pizza ,

Should've put it on Aloha temperature.

Oh, Max... Haole could you?

**anothercustom** · August 15th, 2017, 09:07 PM

Man goes to the doctor with earache. The doctor says "I'm afraid you're going to have stop masturbating."
"Really? That's causing my earache?"
"No it's upsetting the nurse."

**anothercustom** · August 15th, 2017, 10:39 PM

I heard a rather funny story about a man who drank a lot and his wife said "If you ever come home drunk again, I'm going to leave you". He went out to a pub and drank a lot and was sick all over his shirt, and said to his friend "If I go home like this my wife will leave me". His friend said "I tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw-up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill.".

He goes home and his wife's angry at the state of him and tells him she is leaving but he says "No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill". His wife reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out two twenty-pound notes and asks "Why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there?" He replies "Oh the other one is from the man who shat in my pants".

**otokonomidori** · August 16th, 2017, 10:15 PM

I was having a piss at the pub, standing next to me was a midget.

I noticed he was winking at me so I looked away but when I turned around again the little fucker was still winking at me like crazy.

I said to him "Do you fuckin' fancy me or something?'

He said, "No you're splashing it in my eyes you cunt."

**bp666** · August 17th, 2017, 11:06 AM

At the kleptomania support group meeting, everyone volunteered to take the minutes!

Those who didn't get to take the minutes, took a seat.

**bp666** · August 17th, 2017, 11:07 AM

I went to a fancy dress party last week dressed as a loaf of bread.

The birds were all over me.

August 13th, 2017, 04:55 PM	#12611
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,809 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

August 15th, 2017, 02:34 PM	#12613
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	Just burnt my Hawaiian pizza , Should've put it on Aloha temperature. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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August 13th, 2017, 06:52 PM	#12612
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,980 Times in 15,730 Posts	Tom Baker sued Dr. Pepper, for not being a real doctor.

August 15th, 2017, 06:55 PM	#12614
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts

August 15th, 2017, 09:07 PM	#12616
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,950 Thanks: 25,742 Thanked 123,755 Times in 5,161 Posts	Man goes to the doctor with earache. The doctor says "I'm afraid you're going to have stop masturbating." "Really? That's causing my earache?" "No it's upsetting the nurse."

August 15th, 2017, 10:39 PM	#12617
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,950 Thanks: 25,742 Thanked 123,755 Times in 5,161 Posts	I heard a rather funny story about a man who drank a lot and his wife said "If you ever come home drunk again, I'm going to leave you". He went out to a pub and drank a lot and was sick all over his shirt, and said to his friend "If I go home like this my wife will leave me". His friend said "I tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw-up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill.". He goes home and his wife's angry at the state of him and tells him she is leaving but he says "No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill". His wife reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out two twenty-pound notes and asks "Why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there?" He replies "Oh the other one is from the man who shat in my pants".

August 16th, 2017, 10:15 PM	#12618
otokonomidori 緑の男 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Jockistan, UK. Posts: 8,316 Thanks: 39,016 Thanked 122,404 Times in 8,316 Posts	I was having a piss at the pub, standing next to me was a midget. I noticed he was winking at me so I looked away but when I turned around again the little fucker was still winking at me like crazy. I said to him "Do you fuckin' fancy me or something?' He said, "No you're splashing it in my eyes you cunt."

August 17th, 2017, 11:06 AM	#12619
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	At the kleptomania support group meeting, everyone volunteered to take the minutes! Those who didn't get to take the minutes, took a seat.

August 17th, 2017, 11:07 AM	#12620
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	I went to a fancy dress party last week dressed as a loaf of bread. The birds were all over me.