Post your corny jokes - Page 1207

**photoflex** · March 14th, 2017, 03:56 PM

My mate bought one of these new American sex robots.
Very lifelike.
She dumped him.

iufrenchman · March 14th, 2017, 06:30 PM

did not find this one here, sorry if duplicate:
Who Pays The Checkers?

There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they "identify" with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.

If the latter, will public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms?

Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?

And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?

Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked?

How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?

What has this country come to when the U.S. Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?

Their Motto Will Be ...........???

"If You gotta pee - We gotta see!"

**bp666** · March 14th, 2017, 07:04 PM

It's great that corny jokes are available in various languages.

Here's one in Spanish.

Uno.

**bp666** · March 14th, 2017, 07:08 PM

Holmes said to Watson "Come on, let's go, the game is afoot".

Watson replies "I've just got to go to the bathroom first".

After quite some time, Watson hasn't returned, so Holmes goes to the bathroom door and says "I've deduced you are constipated Watson".

Watson retorts "Yeah, no shit Sherlock".

**otokonomidori** · March 16th, 2017, 04:17 PM

A man goes into a pet shop. He says: ‘I’d like to buy a wasp please.’ The shopkeeper says: ‘Sorry Sir, but we don’t sell wasps.’ Man says: ‘But you’ve got one in the window!!’

petvictor · March 17th, 2017, 06:37 PM

Me mate Paddy got invited to a Klu Klux Klan fancy dress party,,,He,s going as Al Jolson,,,,

**wimbo77** · March 17th, 2017, 08:38 PM

Why didn't Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.

**gedly** · March 17th, 2017, 11:38 PM

So the mechanic said to me. "It's £100 to replace the seal in your car". Do I look stupid? I never kept an aquatic mammal in my car in the first place.

**tygrkhat40** · March 18th, 2017, 01:14 PM

...the mechanic said that I'd blown a seal. I told him to fix it and leave my private life out of it.

**photoflex** · March 18th, 2017, 04:39 PM

"Of course, as an 18 year old, I spend a lot of my time on Facebook.
But are any of you friends with a surprise Facebook racist?
Might be an old school friend or someone that you haven't seen for a while and
than bursts out of nowhere with a racist Facebook post.
I saw one of these things recently, it was an image of a Muslim woman in a burka,
and written across it was:

"IF A MUSLIM WOMAN IS ALLOWED TO WEAR A BURKA, THEN HOW COME I'M NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR A BIG WHITE HOOD AND BURN A CROSS ON AN ETHNIC MINORITY'S FRONT LAWN? IT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD! IT'S ONE RULE FOR THE IMMIGRANTS AN ANOTHER FOR THE IMPERIAL GRAND WIZARDS! AND IF EXPRESSING THAT MAKES ME A RACIST IN THE EYES OF THE LIBERALS, THAN SO BE IT!"

I thought; "Mate, that makes you a racist in the eyes of other racists."

I was shocked, I didn't even know my grandma had Facebook!

Jack Carroll

March 14th, 2017, 03:56 PM	#12061
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,925 Thanked 127,784 Times in 3,570 Posts	My mate bought one of these new American sex robots. Very lifelike. She dumped him. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

March 14th, 2017, 06:30 PM	#12062
iufrenchman Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: NW Indiana Posts: 238 Thanks: 1,676 Thanked 2,536 Times in 228 Posts	Who Pays The Checkers? did not find this one here, sorry if duplicate: Who Pays The Checkers? There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they "identify" with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender. If the latter, will public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms? Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom? And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers? Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked? How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers? What has this country come to when the U.S. Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors? Their Motto Will Be ...........??? "If You gotta pee - We gotta see!" Last edited by iufrenchman; March 14th, 2017 at 06:31 PM.. Reason: update title

March 17th, 2017, 08:38 PM	#12067
wimbo77 Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2015 Posts: 9,115 Thanks: 130,160 Thanked 144,381 Times in 9,160 Posts	Why didn't Handel go shopping? Because he was Baroque. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor. __________________

March 18th, 2017, 01:14 PM	#12069
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 152,571 Times in 9,629 Posts	...the mechanic said that I'd blown a seal. I told him to fix it and leave my private life out of it. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 18th, 2017, 04:39 PM	#12070
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,925 Thanked 127,784 Times in 3,570 Posts	"Of course, as an 18 year old, I spend a lot of my time on Facebook. But are any of you friends with a surprise Facebook racist? Might be an old school friend or someone that you haven't seen for a while and than bursts out of nowhere with a racist Facebook post. I saw one of these things recently, it was an image of a Muslim woman in a burka, and written across it was: "IF A MUSLIM WOMAN IS ALLOWED TO WEAR A BURKA, THEN HOW COME I'M NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR A BIG WHITE HOOD AND BURN A CROSS ON AN ETHNIC MINORITY'S FRONT LAWN? IT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD! IT'S ONE RULE FOR THE IMMIGRANTS AN ANOTHER FOR THE IMPERIAL GRAND WIZARDS! AND IF EXPRESSING THAT MAKES ME A RACIST IN THE EYES OF THE LIBERALS, THAN SO BE IT!" I thought; "Mate, that makes you a racist in the eyes of other racists." I was shocked, I didn't even know my grandma had Facebook! Jack Carroll __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

March 14th, 2017, 07:04 PM	#12063
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,546 Thanked 14,184 Times in 1,074 Posts	It's great that corny jokes are available in various languages. Here's one in Spanish. Uno.

March 14th, 2017, 07:08 PM	#12064
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,546 Thanked 14,184 Times in 1,074 Posts	Holmes said to Watson "Come on, let's go, the game is afoot". Watson replies "I've just got to go to the bathroom first". After quite some time, Watson hasn't returned, so Holmes goes to the bathroom door and says "I've deduced you are constipated Watson". Watson retorts "Yeah, no shit Sherlock".

March 16th, 2017, 04:17 PM	#12065
otokonomidori 緑の男 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Jockistan, UK. Posts: 8,316 Thanks: 39,023 Thanked 122,410 Times in 8,316 Posts	A man goes into a pet shop. He says: ‘I’d like to buy a wasp please.’ The shopkeeper says: ‘Sorry Sir, but we don’t sell wasps.’ Man says: ‘But you’ve got one in the window!!’

March 17th, 2017, 06:37 PM	#12066
petvictor Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 56 Thanks: 1,012 Thanked 701 Times in 50 Posts	Me mate Paddy got invited to a Klu Klux Klan fancy dress party,,,He,s going as Al Jolson,,,,

March 17th, 2017, 11:38 PM	#12068
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,317 Times in 3,171 Posts	So the mechanic said to me. "It's £100 to replace the seal in your car". Do I look stupid? I never kept an aquatic mammal in my car in the first place.