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Old 02-12-2018, 03:23 PM   #10971
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Maze Runner: The Death Cure





In my opinion out of all the post apocalyptic,dystopian future,YA movies The Maze Runner series has been consistently exciting,action packed and involving.
The story of a virus that is turning people into horrifying zombies and those that are captive...teenagers,that may hold some type of preventiveto the virus in their genetic code,and those that try to control them to keep the preventive/cure for the elite.

The film opens with a great action sequence.Dylan O'Brien as Thomas has enough presence to uphold his part of the story and he will likely continue to get roles that will help him put his talents to use.
There are also good acting turns from,Thomas Brodie-Sangster as Newt,Giancarlo Esposito as Jorge,Aidan Gillen as Janson,Walton Goggins as Lawrence ,Ki Hong Lee as Minho,Will Poulter as Gally and Rosa Salazar as Brenda.
The action sequences are terrific,coupled with great visuals.
The only problems i had with the film were far to convenient moments,the pacing and i counted at least 3 endings...but hey at least we get a big screen ending...yes im talking about you Divergent...but uhmm let me keep my mouth shut...dont want to talk it up.

Scale of 1-10 an 8


The 15:17 to Paris





On August 21, 2015, Stone and his childhood friends Alek Skarlatos and Anthony Sadler, were traveling together during a sightseeing vacation in Europe.They boarded a Paris bound trai. Little did they know that an armed to the teeth terrorist also boarded the same train,and that there lives would be forever changed.

Director Clint Eastwood lays out a story that has it's charms and involving turns in the films first half.It is interesting that he decided to cast the real life heroes.When the film focuses on how the three men bonded as kids,and the military training of Spencer Stone and Aleksander Reed Skarlatos it really excels.
Then an odd thing happens in the middle of the film.Eastwood decides to to have the audience go along with the men on their tour of Amsterdam,that is so drawn out and made even more grating with dull dialogue,and yes i know the guys arent actors but there is something so robotic about the way they emote i started to laugh a little.It actually reminded me of the 2012 Act of Valor movie in which real life Marines were cast.

When the terrorist act happens it is quite riveting and its like a bolt of lightning after almost being rocked to sleep by the aforementioned tour of Amsterdam portion.

I praise the 3 men and the other passengers that assisted that day,Eastwood still has some spark in his direction,but this really could have been better.

Scale of 1-10 a 6½


Fifty Shades Freed




So this is it ,the nail in the coffin to the Fifty Shades series.
So is this final film more exciting and stimulating than the last ...well yes and a big NO !!
Christian Grey and Anastasia 'Ana' Steele are in wedded bliss on their honeymoon,but soon they are being stalked and terrorized by Jack Hyde, Ana’s former boss
So between some lukewarm kinky sex they must put a stop to the sinister Hyde


Out of the maybe 5(?) sex scenes there is only one that is partially erotic.
Dakota Johnson has her moments of presence,so she uplifts the film here and there
Jamie Dornan...not so much as Christian Grey has always been kind of aloof,and one note in these films and continues here.
There is a small dose of suspense,and it's visually stunning
Other than that the movie is empty with silly situations and aggravating turns.
It attempts to give the other characters and actors something to do but it's just filler.
I have to......i must go into spoiler territory...because i want to rant about a portion of this film that is completely ridiculous !!


SPOILERS AHEAD....YOUVE BEEN WARNED...SPOILERS AHEAD


So Christian hires all of this top notch security to protect his beloved Ana and the rest of his family from Hyde.Hyde not only breaks into Christians offices but also is able to download data,get away easily,on top of that he's able to enter their home attack Ana and then later on kidnap Chritiians sister.I mean this guy should be hired by the Suicide Squad or The Legion of Doom or something !!And why is he doing all this ?? Because Christian was adopted before him and had a life of wealth and pleasure and he didnt !! WAH !! Wah !! WAH !!

Scale of 1-10 a 3
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Old 02-12-2018, 04:45 PM   #10972
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Lightbulb This next to no budget suspense horror is actually pretty damn

Great ,



Never seen any of the actors before in anything else. Oh and I don't use the term "Actors" lightly. As they all can do that. Especially the almost ludicrously attractive Juliana Harkavy. Who`s a fresh faced vulnerably raw recruit newbie cop here. That unfortunately get`s assigned to spend her first proper shift overseeing a decommissioned police station. A station that may or may not be haunted by a crazed cult and it`s victims.

Hmmmm , or is she just imagining everything ?. Due to being traumatised by something , I`ll annoyingly not go into



There are so many fun moments in this movie. One of my favorites though (No spoilers) is when the phone doesn't just ring. It seems to be alive and thoroughly pissed off .



Kudos to all involved. Hell yes we`re talking a stonking triple
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Old 02-12-2018, 06:03 PM   #10973
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Well I watched Independence Day: Whatever. Oh Geez. Bill Pullman has no shame. Jeff Goldblum has no talent.
If you have a film with good guys vs bad guys you are supposed to identify and support the good guys. That's difficult when they are uniformly irritating assholes.

I found time to watch a film called 13. It's a version of a French film. The premise is excellent but not made the most of.
A young man in desperate need of a lot of money assumes the identity of another man and finds himself involved in a very secret, very deadly game, where the stakes are your own life.
Annoying fat prat Ray Winstone, the man who put cock in the word cockney is at his fattest and sweatiest in this film. Mind you, ira supporting prick Micky Rourke is an ira supporting prick which makes him the biggest prick in the film.
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Old 02-12-2018, 09:20 PM   #10974
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I watched East Side Sushi (2014) on cable. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Side_Sushi
A young single Hispanic mother tries to become a Sushi chef. The actress Diana Elizabeth Torres is younger taller thinner less busty version of Salma Hayek. Acting was very good, storyline was alright. Not a waste of time. My own dislike of Sushi probably made me not like the film as much as it deserved. No female nudity either. Nobody gets killed. Not really sure why I watched it. It was in English but subtitled for Spanish. When they spoke Spanish, there were no English subtitles and my high school Spanish was not up to the task of understanding everything they were saying.

I still don't understand why white people like Sushi so much, guessing it must be a Californian thing.
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Old 02-13-2018, 03:46 PM   #10975
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Lightbulb Another low budget horror which accomplishes far more than many multi million movies do

This ,



Stars A.J. Cook as defense attorney Kate who is called to defend freaky hairy looking giant Talan Gwynek. After he is charged with the vicious murders of a vacationing family. She and her team believe in the monosyllabic mans innocent. Thinking he might be suffering from a rare illness. Which seems to be the case and if can be proved would vindicate him.



Boy are they ever wrong



I can't remember the last time I've seen a Werewolf film that felt like a true ugly down and dirty proper wild bestial Werewolf movie. Actually I've never seen one. Although this comes bloody close. Considering the minuscule budget (Which I`m guessing wouldn't cover The Last Jedi`s cast and crew food one for a week) they've done marvelous work here with real props mostly and careful CGI effects where necessary. They made it seem as real as they possibly could. Acting is mostly solid across the board. Even the score is good. Don't be put off by the beginning as it isn't a found footage film. Give it a handful of minutes.



Might just grow on you
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:13 PM   #10976
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Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies Go To College



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When the sinister Professor Ragnar exercises some of his dark powers, he manages to summon three bloodthirsty ghouls who terrorize the college campus. Only students Skip Carter and his girlfriend realize who is behind the chaos.

Campy, funny, Cheesy...and intended to be!
Directed by SFX artist John Buechler, the second sequel to the Ghoulies franchise was shot in 1990 and the least I can say is that it has nothing to do with the previous films. There's always been some elements of comedy but still they were horror flicks. Not any more, Ghoulies Go To College is really a comedy with some fantasy things in it, like the little creatures and the magical comic book that is a tool to summon them.
The film takes place in a californian college during the prank week so it's all about frats, parties and fun. The 3 monsters are still mean and lethal but now they talk like humans and themselves are clearly used for humorous purposes.
It's like a crossover between Animal House and Critters. Sure the ghoulies are killing people but the body count isn't very high and every dead teenager is murdered in a goofy way. The dialogues aren't very poetic and subtle but it's really entertaining and you'll laugh numerous times watching all the stupid things the main characters do.
The hero is cool and likeable, his girlfriend is more of a pain in the ass I must say. But she's hot. Plenty o'hot girls in there, by the way. Especially the gorgeous B-Movie goddess Hope Marie Cartlon as Veronica, the horny student who gives us a view at her good during a nice striptease scene.
It's funny to realize that a lot of famous people were involved in Ghoulies 3 like the great Kevin McCarthy as the villain professor Ragnar, Eva LaRue, Richard Kind, Stephen Lee, Evan McKenzie, Patrick Labyorteaux, Griffin O'Neal, Billy Morrissette, Jason Scott Lee, stuntman and horror legend Kane Hodder, Matthew Lillard, Marcia Wallace from The Simpsons...the producer Lawrence Kasanoff also produced Mortal Kombat, Blood Diner and Kathryn Bigelow's Strange Days.
Ghoulies 3 is definitely the best of the franchise, which countains 4 films.

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Old 02-14-2018, 07:34 PM   #10977
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Black Panther (2018)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1825683/


Just back from seeing this, I've been looking forward to this since it was announced especially when I heard it would featured Erik Killmonger as the villain as I hoped it would feature elements of the classic Don McGregor and Rich Buckler Panther's Rage storyline, and it did so brilliantly, it also featured M'Baku known in the comics as the Man-Ape who will also feature in Avengers: Infinity War.

Fans of the stories that appeared in the Jungle Action series will know a lot of what to expect but it is visually stunning especially the arena scenes where T'Challa fights for the kingdom by a waterfall.

There are a couple of extra end credit scenes, one in the middle as T'Challa addresses the United Nations and one right at the end of the credits featuring the return of a character last seen in Wakanda in a previous film.

There's also a Stan Lee cameo thrown in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBiZX_ceqO0&vl=en

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Old 02-14-2018, 09:58 PM   #10978
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The Devil's Well (2017)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5987042/


A found footage film about the investigation of the disappearance of Karla Marks whilst conducting a paranormal investigation with her husband. A year on and husband Bryan joins a group of paranormal investigators in an attempt to prove he had not killed her, it's slow moving at times before they uncover what is really going on


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EIsZEdaMXs


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Old 02-15-2018, 10:44 AM   #10979
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My Bloody Valentine (1981)



I haven't seen a movie since January 3, I've put watching series and other things as a priority. Valentine's Day typically means nothing to me, and I never thought about watching a movie appropriate for the day, so I thought of this. Part of the reason I watched this too was because I want to see the remake. If I had not have napped, I would've probably watched that right after before the 14th ends. From what I've seen, especially from the nudity in that movie, it's something to enjoy as it looks like bloody good fun, an 80s inspired romp. One would believe then that the original would have that level of fun, again I assume the remake will be fun. For the most part, I'm wrong.

That's not to say I hate the movie, it's very much a serious movie, made under the Paramount banner. Paramount is the same studio that produced the first 8 Friday the 13th movies, they also did April Fool's Day. Notice a pattern? They seemed to have liked making horror movies set in certain special days or holidays. Friday the 13th really is the movie that this compares strongly too, and it's not a different studio seeing what Paramount did and rolling with it, instead it's Paramount doing kind of the same thing again.

The result is something not iconic like Friday the 13th. The tone and content is very similar though. Friday the 13th has aged to be something where without the kills, it's kind of mediocre. That's the big thing about this movie too, the kills make it, as well as the ending being better than I expected, but then that almost stabbed the movie in the back.

The story is simple, there's a guy wearing a gas mask going around killing "young" adults, don't tell me they're teens. Apparently the suspect is Henry Warden, someone who worked in the mines but he and his co-workers were involved in an explosion that buried them alive, while the supervisors left. They were excited to head to the yearly Valentine's Day party, so they bounced leaving the lowly miners to suffer. Henry Warden survived, his co-workers didn't, he was seen eating an arm, but you don't see any other instance of cannibalism, so that was just random. But, anything to survive right?

Cliches galore, that exposition was supplied by an old man. In Friday the 13th, the history of Camp Crystal Lake was shared by an old man, the exposition in Friday the 13th. The old man giving the exposition was part of the rescue team that found Warden. The survivor exacted his revenge, killing one of the supervisors. After a stay in the mental hospital, he returned to town on the next Valentine's Day and killed the two supervisors. His MO is cutting out the hearts of his victims and putting them in heart-shaped boxes. His signature weapon is a pick-axe, and he lurks in the mines to hunt down prey. He comes out every Valentine's Day, making sure that if you have that yearly dance, you're going to die.

That sounds pretty chilling, but then put that in a movie where the main characters' own subplot is some stupid ass love triangle. The main character TJ left town, abandoning his girlfriend Sarah. His buddy Axel picked her up on the rebound, and they have been an item since. TJ returned, wants to get back with Sarah but Axel is having none of it. The big problem is that they're all unlikable! TJ is a bit of a dick, lacking sense in handling his feelings and the situation, no grace, no care. Why did he leave? I don't really know. TJ and Axel work at the mine, the rest of their circle of friends include a fat guy with a Mario mustache, and the cliche clown that typically does blatant false jump scares. Axel's just an asshole, being very possessive of Sarah. One common thing about the two guys, they speak for Sarah, which is a big reason TJ is unlikable, he had no tact about the situation. Overall it's just stupid and drags the movie down. With Friday the 13th, less was said about the main characters, in fact it took almost 30 minutes to really determine the main character, it turned out to be Alice. There was a subplot with the 70s pornstar looking dude, but it was short, simple, inoffensive. This however is just unsatisfying.

I understand that you can't blow your load, can't have too many kills. This was 1981, in the mid 80s, overkills became a thing and Friday the 13th led that charge in horror cinema. The good thing about that is that there's not much downtime, the risk of boredom is not as major. Here, it does draw out a bit. It did not help that I was really tired and just paused the movie to have a nap. Even after having that nap, the movie still dragged. Not as major as the first Friday the 13th, you didn't have a scene where the main character makes coffee and they show all the steps.

One thing about the saving grace, the kills, is that they seemed to have been cut down previously. Similar to watching Silent Night Deadly Night, newer remastered uncut releases show that the cut footage was not preserved so well. The film scratches and the color tone being more cold, show clearly what was cut. The kills were the only parts that had said look, which means that the original theatrical cut must suck.

Though they're a bit too spread out, the kills are all great. The first one opens the movie with a random blonde getting down to her bra (that's the extent of the nudity, fuck!), she is with the killer, he won't take off his gas mask, and he just stabs her through the chest, where the little heart tattoo is. The camera zooms into her wide open mouth and boom the movie begins. Sweet. One kill to spotlight is an old woman getting killed, and her body being left in a dryer. The kill was at a laundromat. The sheriff of the town discovered the body after noticing the paper hearts in the laundromat were upside down (an apparent MO of the killer). He also caught the smell, took too long to discover the body, but damn the body looked great, in terms of make up and effects. Smell! That's something horror movies don't really touch on, the smell of a dead body, while bodies tend to be still relatively fresh after being killed and then discovered, this one gave the impression she was dead for a couple hours, and being in a dryer burned and grind her up, the smell just coming out more even though the dryer was closed. I just loved that attention to detail.

After that, the sheriff convinces the mayor to cancel the yearly dance. Great idea, but the "young" adults aren't having any of it, and decide to throw their own party. This does not please the killer, and he goes out for the hunt. The signature pick-axe is used in great fashion, the cliche old man doomsayer got it good, with his eye being caught and coming out! The GIF will show it better than an explanation.



The kills are consistently great, practical make up and effects, no complaints there at all.

I should've said this earlier, this movie is a Canadian production, and that is so obvious when you listen to the accents. Maybe the remake is American, I hope so because just immediately it's hard to really buy the drama and seriousness of these Canadians. It's stereotyping, sorry, but the big word for Canadians is "goober." They're goobers, the fat guy is definitely a goober, which makes the fact he has a good looking girlfriend, extremely shocking and unrealistic. The Canadian aspect just gives off a disconnect. Don't get me wrong, one of the best horror movies ever is Canadian, Black Christmas, something that is super serious, but has some intentionally funny moments. This tries a bit too hard to be serious and that's a bad thing. Partially good in that I can reply with "But they're Canadian!" and laugh. Otherwise, just kind of groan, particularly at the love triangle crap.

Similar to Friday the 13th, the locations are limited, you don't go to many places, this is a small town to begin with. The second half of the movie pretty much takes place at the party and then the mine for the final kills and confrontation. Another major kill highlight, sort of, is the discovery of another body during the final act. I don't think the guy's kill was seen, I kind of nodded off but when going back, I just didn't find the moment. Still, his body turning up was awesome, and it was the clown by the way.



The worst scene of the movie was near the halfway point, with the cheesy dramatic music to go along with it, when TJ gets Sarah to come with him to an old hangout place. Take their word for it, no flashback to them hanging out at the spot. He explains himself, she explains herself, and...it just sucks. It's so boring, it's so typical, and TJ doesn't really explain himself well. So it's hard really to sympathize with him and I don't even know why he left in the first place. I tried to go back to scenes where I thought he might've explained himself and it wasn't there. Or it's there and I just can't find it, and I don't give a crap enough to search more. I wasn't fully invested in the movie until the kills came.

I was ready to write the movie off as just being one where the kills saved it, but there was a twist. In hindsight it goes back to Friday the 13th where the big moment right before the ending was awesome. In Friday the 13th though, the actual ending kind of ruined the whole deal. SPOILER: when Jason rises from the lake and drags Alice down, and the ending makes it look like was dreaming. Or, she was saved and they just didn't fucking show that, she woke up in the hospital.
Ugh.

Now, the twist of this movie.

SPOILER: the killer was not Howard Warden, it was Axel! They flashed back to when Warden killed one of the supervisors, this was played earlier in the exposition scene with the old man, but it plays again after the unmasking during the final confrontation between TJ and the killer. The new detail in the flashback was that a blonde boy was under the bed near the kill scene, he witnessed his father die. That little boy was Axel. They didn't need to say this at that point, the fact the boy was blonde says it all. Axel was the only blonde man in the movie, which is funny because it reminds of anime where a blonde man is the villain. Even better, after TJ kicks Axel and he bumps into a support beam that leads to the mine collapsing, the sheriff, mayor, rescue team, the survivors (TJ and Sarah) find an arm sticking out of the rubble. Axel is underneath it all, Sarah checks on the arm, it grabs her, meaning Axel is still alive. But boom, he amputated his arm. He did a 127 Hours, and escaped, the rubble blocked the people from seeing him escape, so the movie ends on a bad note. The killer is still out on the loose. Now there wasn't a sequel, but this is like Black Christmas where the killer did not die in the end, he is still alive. I loved it, I was impressed, but then it almost ruined itself when Axel just went into mentally challenged killer speak. A bit like Black Christmas, but that was freaky and scary, this was just silly with hokey acting. He mentioned "Daddy," and saying that he "paid." Also, "Sarah, be my bloody valentine." It would've been better if they showed him looking the camera after saying that like Hot Tub Time Machine. Now, what happened to Warden? He died 5 years ago, so maybe Warden did go on a yearly killing spree, but as this story goes, he was already dead by this point. Earlier in the movie the sheriff has a phone call with the mental hospital Warden was in, and they said there's no record of him, meaning he was either released, never been there, or died. As it turned out, he died. Earlier it's revealed that Warden was put back into a mental hospital after the murders, so consider that the follow up to that story the old man shared.

Out of the spoiler zone, to sum up, the ending helped saved the movie, but there was some hokey acting that almost ruined it. I'll forgive it because I want to be nice to the movie.

Since it's a slasher movie, the real grading system is on the kills. If the kills suck, the movie most likely sucks as a whole. So since the kills here are all great, and there was a nice twist and a good ending overall, the movie survives being just bargain bin material. Basically, it's those things that I guess made it worth remaking. Also, looking at the trivia page, the mine location was real, it explains why the lighting is very limited, the risk of methane explosions. The mines were as deep as 900 feet underground! So that's another positive, authenticity. Following up on that, one of the kills was so realistic, the director George Mihalka puked from it! See? Gotta check out the kills here. Another cool trivia bit, the caption at the beginning of the movie indicated the story started on Thursday, February 12, Valentine's Day thus was on a Saturday, the 14th. So that means? Yeah, cheeky bastards, and the producers admit they wanted to make a movie based on a holiday not touched yet during the slasher flick boom of the 80s, hence Valentine's Day.

As indicated, the movie featured lots of cuts to get an R rating, as it turned out, despite the restoration of some footage for the Director's Cut, there were still 6 minutes, just lost from damage. Supposedly there was character building in that footage, not just gory stuff. Hmm, might've helped because that's the biggest weakness of the film, the main characters suck. Well, all the "young" characters suck, nobody was really likable. The sheriff was the most competent guy in the film, but he wasn't charismatic or anything endearing, just by-the-numbers, harmless.]

According to IMDB, this is Quentin Tarantino's all time slasher flick. Really?! Man, he must love the kills and the ending a lot, you can't tell me the characters make the movie good? I mean, laughing at the Canadian accents and thinking to yourself that it's ridiculous that Canadians have "complex" stories, but that doesn't last long overall and it's taken over by just being bored with the characters. Going back to Friday the 13th, Part IV is the best of the series in my opinion and that just fired on all cylinders, with characters that are likable, and unlikable yet so entertaining! It's not perfect, but if going by pure, unadulterated, dumb slasher film fodder, it's top of the class. This movie is kind of bogged down by the characters and that horrible love triangle subplot. The kills and the ending do take my mind out of it, but when I go back to this movie, I will not be excited for those hindering factors. Quickly, to me it's like Metallica's Master of Puppets, I think that album's overrated, but there's some highlights. I still give the whole album a listen because the highlights are great and I can't just skip and select, it's not what the listening experience should be, and it's not what the viewing experience should be for this movie.

Again, I'll be nice, overall this is a fine movie, the positives outweigh the negatives just barely to where it is very much recommended. Quickly, the music is good, the trivia page goes on a lot about the music, the song played in the ending credits is “The Ballad of Henry Warden” which is a folk style one oddly. I just wanted to share a brief opinion on that. Moving on, maybe on repeat viewings I'll laugh at how bad the love triangle and characters are, but for now I'll just remember fondly of the highlights. When it's fun, it really is bloody good fun.


My Bloody Valentine (2009)



Welp, I got nothing to do, coming off the original movie, I really wanted to find out if this will be a rare case where the remake is better. So, did not wait, playing this right after reviewing the original. Starring Jensen Ackles during a break from shooting Supernatural (his co-star Jared Padalecki was shooting another remake at the time, Friday the 13th), how does it hold up against the original.

Right off the bat though, it differs from the original in that they got to the exposition, the backstory, immediately, and not through some old man, but a video sequence featuring newspaper headlines and blurbs about the mine incident, Harry Warden (not Henry), surviving, but apparently was in a coma. However, as the first proper scene shows, he isn't in a coma, and he got to work. Hm? So, no twist? Man, got some other fine talent here, B-movie king Tom Atkins! Creepshow, Maniac Cop, Night of the Creeps, this guy is awesome, so good to see him. Kevin Tighe, and Road House is still fresh on my mind, he played the owner of the Double Deuce, recruiting Dalton to fix his bar. Jamie King, sweet, she was in kind of a remake in Silent Night.

Okay okay, the elephant in the room, this was marketed as “My Bloody Valentine 3D,” and the first kill pretty much showed that it was going for the 3D gimmick. Still, coming out of the hospital scene following Warden coming out of the coma, where Atkins' character is introduced as of course, a cop, the sheriff of the town, I appreciate the kills. When Atkins surveyed the damage, you can see that CGI wasn't going to rule the day, great looking dead bodies, lots of blood, including one drawn as a heart. I was impressed enough to give the 3D gimmick a chance. Now the 3D was really silly in Friday the 13th Part 3, but the movie still came out being really good. And yes, more Friday the 13th comparisons, I'm surprised myself that a lot of that would come out here. The killer, looking pretty much the same as the original, goes on a killing spree in the mines, stupid “young” adults thinking that hanging out at the mines is fun, the hesitant one was Tom, played by Ackles. It's still early in the movie and I laughed when one of the victims tried to escape Warden, and his head bumped into a plank and he fell on his ass! Nice kills with the pick-axe, even though it was obvious 3D appeal. An attempted kill was when Warden threw his weapon at the car where the party people came in, only getting the windshield, almost nailing one of the women in the eye, definitely a 3D one. Tom Atkins and another old cop come to save Tom, who had gotten struck by Warden and was about to be killed after a struggle with the killer. They shot at Warden, mine has a little collapse, but it looked like he escaped, looking pretty similar to a part in the original.

Jump 10 years later. Now, other differences, this is set in America, so no Canadian cheese to laugh at. Axel, instead of being a miner, is a cop, looking like David Arquette from Scream if his faxe was fixed to make himself less dopey looking and instead like a douche. I'm guess Tom is the TJ character, apparently he inherited his father's shares of Henniger Mines (same name as in the original), and wants to sell it. That doesn't sit well with Kevin Tighe's character, who was introduced a bit earlier in a diner, he works at the mine. So, 10 years passed, but Tom looks the same! I would complain but it's Jensen Ackles, he doesn't look like someone who ages. Oh and unlike bra action being the extent of skin in the original, the remake has nudity! Glorious nudity, boobs, bush, the whole 9 yards! Betsy Rue commits to this, having sex with some bald man at a motel Tom checks in. Not only that, she stays naked as she argues with the bald man, then goes after him with a gun! Still naked when the killer reveals himself, having used his pick-axe to puncture that chrome dome, and she runs back to the motel. Still naked when hiding, and the room she hides in belongs to I guess the motel owner...who is a midget woman. That was random. The movie isn't politically correct, the killer gets the midget, raising her all the way to the ceiling! I laughed a bit, just the first 20 minutes alone is better than all of the original! She dies by the way, duh.

Now I got why Tom left, just by the scene of him in the motel, taking medication and trembling a bit, you can tell that the nearly being killed by Warden messed him up. Unlike the original where I don't really know why he left, and it's not like he had a previous run-in with the killer. Also, love triangle? Nah, something more tangled. Axel is married to Sarah (Jamie King), who was Tom's old girlfriend, shown in the earlier part of the movie. They have a kid, but as shown as well, Axel's having an affair with Megan, who works at the supermarket Sarah works in. Sounds a bit convoluted but I got it all. Now Axel's the sheriff in town, Atkins' character retired. There was a scuffle in the bar Tom goes too, old men having beef with him, blaming him for Warden's return, which I couldn't grasp why. It almost looked like they thought he committed those murders, in the scene after it looks like even Axel thinks Tom is the killer, showing Sarah some footage of Irene (Betsy Rue) having sex. Tom was seen walking by, he was going to his motel room. Oh, the modus operandi is still the same, Axel got a heart-shaped box that had a heart, Irene's, so the killer still guts his victims and retrieves their hearts.

So the worst scene in the original pretty much was remade exactly here, but on a bridge, similar dramatic music, but again, it works. The discussion was about Tom running away from his fears, the mines being the livelihood of many hard working people, all this other stuff that I'm just fine with. Compared to not giving a shit about what the original had, this is a major improvement. Another difference, the killer doesn't just go around doing his thing as punishment to those having some Valentine's Day dance party. Instead he's killing people, but also fixated on Tom, I take it as unfinished business. The kill was nice, the post-kill torture to the body was nicer, hehe. The workers come too late, Warden's gone, again there's the theme that people think Tom is the killer. Hm, Tom was locked in a small space. Okay, spoiler time already.

SPOILER: they give a bit of the twist halfway through the movie, that Harry Warden died 10 years ago. A bunch of townsmen came together and killed him. Axel revealed this at the hospital, after detailing what he and Sarah does (“...have sex!” Okay guy). Axel, Tom, Atkins' character and others check where they buried Warden but the body is gone. So...?

Tom's name was cleared in an interrogation scene with Axel that turns violent, but he still wants to nail him. Out of spite seemingly, because he took offense to Tom saying that Sarah “settled” for Axel. Definitely fighting words, he clocked Tom in the face for that. So it's evident that Tom came back for Sarah, similar to the original, TJ wanted to get back with Sarah, but fuck him.

After a scene where Tom goes back to the scene of his scuffle with Warden 10 years ago, Kevin Tighe unfortunately gets it. Funny thing is he had a shotgun, and it reminded me of Road House, at the end when he and other guys got together to murder Brad Wesley. Another nice kill too, lots of blood spill there. SPOILER: the body was placed at Harry Warden's supposed resting place, leading Axel to think Tom placed him, since he was there at the site along with him and other guys.

There's a scene in the supermarket where Megan and Sarah are closing shop but the killer makes his presence felt. At this point I realized that the original lowballed women inasmuch that they were basically arm candy to men, as the “young” adult males there were not good looking at all. Axel was a bit, but still. The women has no character, even Sarah in the original was just poorly written. Here, at least there's something, Sarah isn't unlikable, Megan, though not having much screen time, you at least know why she exists, how she ties into the story. In fact, her death here throws off the killer's perceived motive, where he gets people tied to mine. As Sarah said to Axel after this scene, Megan wasn't part of that, yet she got killed (it's not shown unfortunately, but the dead body looked amazing, heart on the heart-shaped box too). So...and she said she's not blind, meaning she knows Axel was porking Megan. Going back to the supermarket scene, one little thing, how come Sarah didn't sound off that alarm as soon as they made it to that office? It took Megan being snatched for her to do that, after failing maybe to call the cops. Good scene overall though.

Fuck! Next scene is just great, the killer invades Axel and Sarah's home. Oh man, a nod to the original with the drier and the housemaid! But Tom Atkins...I'll just say, Hot Fuzz, Timothy Dalton, hopefully that's enough for people to fill in the blanks. It's a somewhat more extreme version of that.

There is more of a mystery aspect here than in the original, as the mystery is about the killer. Tom snooping around, Axel snooping around, and Sarah in the middle in kind of a tug-of-war situation for her trust. I think this a spoiler, so, yeah. SPOILER: Axel called Sarah while she was riding with Tom, and he said Tom was in a mental hospital for 7 years, which explains a bit why he vanished for 10. At first I thought it was bullshit, but I thought back to the medication, a holdout from his hospital stay, healthy enough to be discharged, but not enough to be drug-free.

The third act is just spoiler heavy, so I'll jump into it, I want to since it's so good, with a major issue though. I need to backtrack to the very beginning of the movie, the opening sequence with the newspaper clippings, there was some radio chatter reporting on the news of the mine collapse. So like the original, there was a mine collapse, a methane explosion that led to all but one person dying, the survivor being Harry Warden. The newspaper bits questioned if Warden himself killed the men in order to conserve air, I guess 6 men trapped close to each other after a mine collapse means not a lot of air to go around. Now the biggest thing I missed, is Tom's connection to this. Working at the mine himself, some newspaper bits questioned if he caused the explosion. Forgot to “bleed the lines,” seemed to be an accident. It goes back to men at that bar hating Tom, that is much clearer now. I tried once again going back to the original to see if that was TJ's backstory. Nope! I remembered that given it all started in 1960, and I assumed the movie was set in present day, which for that time would be the 80s, that basically TJ had no connection to the mine prior, he just ended up working there. Maybe his dad died in that explosion? I don't know, it's really not clear. I think Tom in the remake, his dad was in that collapse and died it's stated that Tom's dad did die, and Tom did not attend the funeral. Anyways, clearing all that up helps to clear a tiny bit of haze I got over the third act. So without further ado...

SPOILER: Things come to a head after Tom and Sarah crashed the car into a branch, 3D...I'll just say right away that the 3D is the major issue. Sarah makes it to Tom's father's old home, it was abandoned, and seemingly is the love nest for him and Megan. There, Sarah finds proof that Axel is the killer, namely a Valentine's Day card from Megan, a picture of Tom and Sarah that Axel confiscated and it was last seen on Axel's person. Uh oh, the killer appears, Sarah escapes into the mines, but seemingly at a dead end, here comes Axel, and then Tom. Sarah had a scuffle with Axel and got his gun. So, one woman, two men, she has to make the choice on who to shoot. Axel said she should shoot them both, Tom is incredulous, tries to stop this nonsense, but made a big mistake trying to connect the message on that Valentine's Day card from Megan, to the one over her dead body, written in blood, “Be mine 4 ever.” How did Tom know about Megan's death? Holy shit, it is similar to the original where one of the main men turned out to be the killer, but instead of it being Axel, it was Tom! They hammer on home Tom's mental problems as he kept telling Sarah to shoot Warden, he was approaching her from behind. As it turned out, he wasn't, it was Tom's hallucination. They showed quickly the kills, how after them, Tom would unmask himself, revealing that it was indeed him. The big debunking factor was that he was trapped in that small space where the killer took out a mine worker. They showed that what was seen by the viewer was basically Tom's vision. The truth is that he locked himself in that space on purpose. Now, Tom didn't have blonde hair, it was dark brown, but he was the good looking man of the bunch. Similar to Axel in the original. So, that was a big clue. Another one, Jensen Ackles wasn't in this movie a lot. It dawned on me that he has about as much screen time as Axel, it's almost like everyone had a similar amount of screen time. Starting from the supermarket invasion, Jamie King had loads of screen time, catching up from being half the time gone in the first 50 minutes of the film. Thinking back, Jared Padalecki didn't have much screen time either compared with other people, so I assumed their break from Supernatural was short. That show is over 10 years old with hundreds of episodes, I guess they are just busy with that. The mental hospital bit dropped right at the beginning of the third act does also qualify as a big clue to this twist, as Axel was mentally scarred in the original over his father's death and thus became the killer. Tom was scarred from the near death experience he suffered, coupled with probably guilt over his accident at the mine that caused the explosion, he just went psycho. Actually when Sarah questioned Axel, he did say something along the lines of “I didn't go Psycho.” I'm sure he was referencing the Hitchcock movie. Anyways, so with Tom revealed as the killer, he goes after Sarah and Axel. I was sad Tom was the killer because I liked Ackles and similar to Padalecki, it would've been nice if he was the cool, somewhat brooding hero. That wasn't the case, so I at least hoped he killed Axel. He got him with the pick-axe once through near the gut, but unfortunately that was not enough. Sarah gets him with the final bullet in the gun, and the 3D just went stupid. The bullet flying was a 3D effect, the explosion caused by the bullet hitting some gas tank, with some object flying to the screen was also a 3D effect. Those, the bar scene where a guy punches and misses Tom, hitting the mirror, other little examples of the 3D effect, overall give this movie a bad mark. Similar to Friday the 13th Part 3 where the 3D pandering hurt the overall quality and became distracted. However, some 3D pandering here I was perfectly fine with, but that third act just stopped being subtle at all, stopped being patient, and just splurged, which was disappointing. Even when it turns out Tom didn't die from the explosion and gunshot, that goes into 3D bullshit because he strikes one of the rescue team members through his gas mask, and they showed it like the camera is behind the gas mask looking at Tom, with blood on the struck portion, that's stupid! While not like the original in terms of details, both suffer from stupid little things almost ruining the ending. The movie ends happy for me with Tom taking off the suit he confiscated from the dead rescue team guy, removing that gas mask as well, and fleeing the scene. Like the original, the killer got away, special hooray in this case.

Reading the trivia, holy shit! The bald guy who got killed was Todd Farmer, who wrote this movie, but he also wrote Jason X! Not only that, he was the bald man in that who got killed by Jason, in the scene where he and some short dude were shooting at a simulation, and Jason showed that he's not a simulation. Wow! Fucking writer's privilege, he got to have that sex scene with Betsy Rue and show his flabby man ass. Jesus. That's crazy. Something I didn't notice either, the first two people who got killed on screen were named Jason and Michael. Yeah, named after Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers. Also, apparently their deaths were references to the movies. Going back, yeah with the first kill, I guess the victim was Jason, he got a pick-axe from behind, to the head and through the eye, which reminds of an eye kill from Friday the 13th Part 3, though that had Jason pop the eye out by squeezing on someone's head. Michael, the guy who hit his head on that plank, died with the killer standing over him, striking, and I guess the shot looking up at Warden was like a Myers kill, I'm not sure. I only watched the first Halloween, and that was 2 years ago, my memory's foggy. Also, apparently they kept the Saturday the 14th bit, meaning the day before Valentine's Day in this movie is also Friday the 13th. Tee-hee.

Overall this movie is partially what I expected, a lot of fun, but the serious tone was not lost on me, unlike the original. Of course the kills were all serious, I'm not counting that, I mean the storytelling and dialogue, serious stuff, but still really good. The Friday the 13th comparisons continue, the biggest flaw to me is the 3D. At first I was fine with it, but as it went on, especially in the third act, it became overbearing and ridiculous. Seeing as in the end, it's a gimmick, the movie as a whole is still very much worth watching. Cast aside the gimmick, it's fucking good! The kills are really good, the dead body effects are arguably better, I was more impressed with that than the kills for the most part, which is a bit odd, I'll just say straight away that the original movie edged out in the actual kills, and their bodies were also really freaking good. Basically, an update, a 2009 version, but not fully an improvement, just goes to show how great the effects were in the 1981 version. The credits by the way do not feature a random folksy song, just generic thriller score music, but the credits go over a tour of the mines. Cool, but fuck the last shot, again with the 3D pandering, the killer striking at the screen with his pick-axe, enough already! Anyways, the annoyance of the 3D, I'll take that over the sometimes dragging nature of the original, as well as the unlikable characters. A great modern horror film, a great remake! It reminds greatly of Silent Night where it is definitely a product of modern times, takes ideas and certain plot bits from the original, but do their own twists, make their own movie. That's what remakes should do! Revitalize, not rehash, and this movie did just that. I like it more than the Friday the 13th remake/reboot by the way, though not to shit on that movie, it comes off more like a sequel anyways once you get out of the origin stuff. But both had great leads, referring to Padalecki and Ackles, it makes me want to watch Supernatural, see how their chemistry is.

I kind of went into many comparisons, but time to be conclusive. Is this version better than the original 1981 version? Well, yeah. Again, going back to Silent Night and it being kind of a remake of Silent Night Deadly Night, the source material didn't have some boredom issue or a thing where all the characters are unlikable. In fact I re-watched the original last year for Christmas and it got even better! I originally just thought it was 80s slasher fun, but there's more to it than that, I guess I paid attention more and I appreciate that. Still, Silent Night was all serious, the original had some cheesy and comical moments, but heavily serious, moreso than I thought first viewing. The original slasher film is serious...with some seriously unlikable characters. Okay, I know slasher films have their teens, young people that are unlikable, but they at least have something about them that gives them personality, something that makes you want to see them die more, especially in the Friday the 13th franchise, loads of those. In the original, they are just so cardboard cutout that if it wasn't for the Canadian status, they'd just be boring. And at least with slasher films, the main characters are good to an extent, and you have your final girl trope. In the original, NOBODY, and I stress that, were likable. The main characters, TJ and Axel bordered on hatred. Fuck them in the ass, and Sarah was just total blah to me, that I don't even want to classify her as a final girl, even though that's technically true. Jamie King at least is a credible one, now remembering that she was the final girl in Silent Night, and I guess since that movie came after this, I do remember reading that she kind of became an icon of horror remakes. It also seemed like she was the stamp of approval for them, that if she's in them, playing a prominent role, the movie would be great. Well, that's true, 2 for 2 here. Music, eh, again somehow the fact the IMDB trivia gave a lot of info about the music in the original movie, I guess I'll give that the edge over the remake. Really, I don't think much of that as a competition, both scores are solid, I will admit the end credits song in the original was a quirky choice, and according to the trivia page, it was basically a throwaway song anyways. I just find it weird that people wanted a soundtrack release from the original movie. Eh, okay. What else? Nudity, fuck yes the remake slays the original, as there's actually nudity. Betsy Rue even demanded it because her scene was supposed to feature her covering herself with a sheet eventually. The problem was the sheet was problematic and they couldn't get their shots done, so Rue said “Fuck it,” and just go fully nude. True sport! That's what I'm talking about. I watched the 101 minute version of this, there's a theatrical cut that's a couple minutes shorter, but regardless, it's a little longer than the original. Yet it moves fast! I was not really bored at it, specifically at the 49 minute mark, I was amazed that I already hit the halfway point. There is a build, it does take its time, yet it does not waste time, I loved that. Even for 93 minutes, the original had a dragging nature for it. I think I may like the original more if I watch it again, but I have no doubt about the remake, I'll replay it no problem and still enjoy it just the same. Characters? Oh, fuck yes the remake is better, better performances too, I'll even give a nod to Kerr Smith, who played Axel, he was alright. He's an asshole, but at least he's not as unlikable as the original Axel. Both got great twists, I was actually concerned with the remake that since it is just as stated, a remake, that it would do the same exact twist. Nope! So really, that makes the remake better, it had a precedent and changed from it. The original set the precedent, so really it could've done whatever. The remake on paper would then do what the original did, like following the rules. No, again, revitalize, not rehash. Also, Tom Atkins, come on! He's much better than the sterile sheriff in the original movie. The remake is also dealing with fully mature adults, no “young” ones trying to have some stupid party. Nah, they took it more serious, and it worked. Going back to expecting the movie to be just a barrel of fun and not taking itself so seriously, I was kind of wrong. It felt very 80s in the first 20 or so minutes, with the midget, the nudity, all that was like a big “This is what we're about” deal, and then the rest of the movie settles into a groove. That's extremely similar to the Friday the 13th 2009 version, the first 20 minutes is just like that, and it's awesome, and the rest of the movie falls afterwards. This movie does not really fall, great job. Really, the original only wins in the kill department, the makeup and effects overall are both awesome in both movies, it's surprising with the 2009 version because it didn't rely on CG. There is CG here but it doesn't dominate the movie, which for the time, that's perfectly acceptable. I guess given that in 1981, the effects and kills looked so freaking good, it does win, all practical too. To an extent, the 2009 version does what it's supposed to do, the 1981 version did more than it deserves really. Given the issues I have with the movie, it doesn't deserve such great kills and effects, but it got them, saving it. There's no saving needed for the 2009 version, it's solid from start to finish, the 3D got on my nerves as time went on, but it satisfied me and stands as one of the very rare examples where a remake is better than the original. Maybe it's the first example of that from my viewing history, either way, that's a major accomplishment, and for that, I tip the proverbial hat to the remake.

Either way, for the highlights, both movies are highly recommended.
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Old 02-15-2018, 10:54 AM   #10980
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Dylan Dog Dead Of Night. Somebody here recommended it and I'm glad I took notice. Yeah it was critically panned, but who cares. Brandon Routh is cool in the role of Dylan Dog even if he isn't as edgy as the comicbook character and Sam Huntington as his overeager sidekick and reluctant zombie is a hoot. I'm giving it two and a half falling off body bits up.
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