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Old 02-07-2018, 03:40 PM   #1321
MaxJoker
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What`s the definition of irony ? ,

A Jewish Gasman


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Old 02-09-2018, 04:24 PM   #1322
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Wife gave birth to a baby boy today and got to admit am pretty disappointed because was hoping for a girl,

As not really into gay stuff.



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Old 02-14-2018, 01:45 PM   #1323
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One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can you penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johnny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied.

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His granpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!"
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Old 02-15-2018, 12:12 PM   #1324
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A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!!"
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Old 02-16-2018, 12:30 PM   #1325
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The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating. "Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???" The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly." " Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

"Oh my God" , said the Queen, "What's happening in there?" The doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
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Old 02-16-2018, 03:17 PM   #1326
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I was at this fantastic party with Mr Weinstein & there were a couple of twelve year old's & we got them to strip & then made them...............darn it!.......wrong forum.
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Old 02-16-2018, 04:04 PM   #1327
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While watching an advert for starving African children earlier I felt a huge surge of anger ,

As how they hell do they get their teeth so white ?


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Old 02-17-2018, 08:13 AM   #1328
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Girl says to guy, "I'm sorry, but I can't see you anymore. I just found out you're a pedophile."

Guy says, "Well that's a pretty big word for a six-year-old!"


The commandant of a Nazi concentration camp orders all the prisoners to assemble in the yard. He then announces, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you're all being sent to the finest hotels in Europe. The bad news is, you're going as soap!"
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Old 02-18-2018, 12:06 PM   #1329
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Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"
Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."
Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"
Husband : "That's where they held the auction."
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Old 02-18-2018, 02:49 PM   #1330
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Never like to boast only must admit I'm a great salesman ,

Hell bet I could even sell soap to a Pakistani !



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