Post your corny jokes - Page 1196

**effCup** · January 22nd, 2017, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SanteeFats

Is she cheating on me??

... or with you? Maybe depends on the position?

dazza2 · January 22nd, 2017, 12:03 PM

My friend married a beautiful Native American woman called 'three horses', didn't last long though, apparently all she did was nag, nag , nag!

**gedly** · January 22nd, 2017, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SanteeFats

I just found out my wife had me cloned and has been seeing him behind my back. Is she cheating on me??

They say that identical twin siblings are natural clones. So what if she was having an affair with your identical twin brother?

**effCup** · January 22nd, 2017, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

your identical twin brother?

Is it still cheating if she can't tell the difference between the identical twin brothers?

Who's cheating whom then?

Lost in a hall of mirrors.

**SanteeFats** · January 22nd, 2017, 01:56 PM

Two women are talking:
I surprised my husband wearing a frilly see-through purple nightgown last night.
Friend: How romantic!! I'm jealous!!
Don't be he was wearing it.

**Staffsyeoman** · January 25th, 2017, 06:48 PM

I had a row with my acupuncturist. It got so bad, I stabbed him. He said he'd never felt better.

**PJayBr** · January 26th, 2017, 04:30 PM

I asked the librarian if they had the latest book about small willies.

She said " I don't think it's in yet"

I said "Yeah that's the one!"

MaxJoker · January 26th, 2017, 04:37 PM

My calculator is missing the minus button, but on the plus side it still works.

**SanteeFats** · January 26th, 2017, 06:07 PM

Wife: mumble, mumble.
H: Did you say something?
W: No, just talking to myself.
H: You could have talked to me instead.
W: I know. But sometimes I need GOOD advice.

**tamsmith** · January 26th, 2017, 10:46 PM

A mother and her young son were flying Qantas Airlines from Melbourne to Perth .
The little boy, who had been looking out the window,
turned to his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'

The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'

The busy flight attendant smiled and said, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me?'

The boy said, 'Why, Yes, she did.'

"Well then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time. Then, ask her to explain that to you."

January 26th, 2017, 04:37 PM	#11958
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,850 Times in 69,067 Posts	My calculator is missing the minus button, but on the plus side it still works. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 22nd, 2017, 12:03 PM	#11952
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,854 Times in 189 Posts	My friend married a beautiful Native American woman called 'three horses', didn't last long though, apparently all she did was nag, nag , nag!

January 22nd, 2017, 01:56 PM	#11955
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,854 Thanks: 281,915 Thanked 814,451 Times in 60,901 Posts	Two women are talking: I surprised my husband wearing a frilly see-through purple nightgown last night. Friend: How romantic!! I'm jealous!! Don't be he was wearing it.

January 25th, 2017, 06:48 PM	#11956
Staffsyeoman Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,269 Thanks: 34,183 Thanked 26,759 Times in 2,160 Posts	I had a row with my acupuncturist. It got so bad, I stabbed him. He said he'd never felt better.

January 26th, 2017, 04:30 PM	#11957
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,313 Thanks: 41,855 Thanked 13,705 Times in 1,284 Posts	I asked the librarian if they had the latest book about small willies. She said " I don't think it's in yet" I said "Yeah that's the one!"

January 26th, 2017, 06:07 PM	#11959
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,854 Thanks: 281,915 Thanked 814,451 Times in 60,901 Posts	Wife: mumble, mumble. H: Did you say something? W: No, just talking to myself. H: You could have talked to me instead. W: I know. But sometimes I need GOOD advice.

January 26th, 2017, 10:46 PM	#11960
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,418 Times in 9,078 Posts	A mother and her young son were flying Qantas Airlines from Melbourne to Perth . The little boy, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The busy flight attendant smiled and said, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me?' The boy said, 'Why, Yes, she did.' "Well then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time. Then, ask her to explain that to you."