Post your corny jokes - Page 1328

**AmateurEmale** · April 6th, 2018, 10:02 PM

Tribute bands that have a chance at rock stardom:

Sepultallica [Brazil meets West Coast thrash metal]
MINXS [Midnight Oil and INXS cover band?]
Armored Snake [John Bush and David Coverdale are offended by the condom reference...]

**photoflex** · April 6th, 2018, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmateurEmale

Tribute bands that have a chance at rock stardom:

MINXS [Midnight Oil and INXS cover band?]

MONXS [The Monks of Norcia, Midnight Oil and INXS cover band]

**gedly** · April 6th, 2018, 11:20 PM

An actual conversation with a colleague at work.

Colleague:" That Eric Bristow didn't do that well. He only managed to get to 60"
Me: "Why, what did he require?"

**mrfixit** · April 7th, 2018, 02:41 AM

A white guy woke up in a cell with an asian man and a black man. None of them had any idea what was going on. All of a sudden a mysterious man appears in front of them and says, “If all of your d*ck lengths combined can reach exactly 1 foot, I’ll let you all go. If not, I’ll kill you all.”
All 3 men pulled down their pants and put their d*cks together, the white guy had 4 inches, the black guy had 6 inches and the Asian guy had 2 inches.
The man then let them go. As they were leaving the cell, the white guy said: “You guys are lucky I’m white.”
The black said: “No way! You guys are lucky I’m black!”
And then the Asian guy yelled: “You guys are lucky I had a boner!”

**Isegrim** · April 7th, 2018, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrfixit

And then the Asian guy yelled: “You guys are lucky I had a boner!”

Hm - the most natural way to "enlarge your penis size" seems still the best to me ... if the girls need them bigger let them work on it ...

**mrfixit** · April 9th, 2018, 12:37 AM

A brunette goes into the doctor’s office and tells him that everywhere she touches, it hurts.
“Impossible,” the doctor says. “Show me.”
So the brunette touches her elbow and screams. Then she touches her knee and screams. Then she touches her ankle and screams. And this goes on until the doctor finally says, “You’re not really brunette, are you?”
“No,” she says. “I’m naturally blonde.”
“I thought so,” says the doctor. “Your finger is broken.”

**mrfixit** · April 9th, 2018, 03:08 AM

**mrfixit** · April 9th, 2018, 05:40 PM

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were undergoing their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to see that both of the men possessed extraordinarily long penises.
“How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers.
“It’s hereditary, sir,” replied the older brother.
“I see,” said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your father’s the reason for your elongated penises?”
“No, sir, our mother.”
“Your mother?” said the doctor. “Don’t be so ridiculous! Women don’t have penises!”
“I know, sir,” replied the recruit, “but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could.”

~~}[eywood~~ · April 9th, 2018, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isegrim

Hm - the most natural way to "enlarge your penis size" seems still the best to me ... if the girls need them bigger let them work on it ...

Girls don't need bigger dicks. Guys need tighter pussies.

**Isegrim** · April 10th, 2018, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by }[eywood

Girls don't need bigger dicks ...

Some years ago I watched a sex education program on tv. They made an interesting experiment:

They sent men into sexshops to buy a dildo for their wive or girlfriend, later they sent in their women to buy one for themself ...

Result: the women bought generally smaller toys, sometimes even the smallest size ... the men on the other hand bought rather big sized ones ... Most of them stated they thought women would prefer them big ...

That would be good news for the many "Asians" among us

, at least in Europe - America started of course much earlier with that stupid penis size paranoia. But meanwhile you can hear even many european women (especially young girls) talk the same crap ...

April 7th, 2018, 02:41 AM	#13274
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,807 Times in 9,416 Posts	A white guy woke up in a cell with an asian man and a black man. None of them had any idea what was going on. All of a sudden a mysterious man appears in front of them and says, “If all of your dck lengths combined can reach exactly 1 foot, I’ll let you all go. If not, I’ll kill you all.” All 3 men pulled down their pants and put their dcks together, the white guy had 4 inches, the black guy had 6 inches and the Asian guy had 2 inches. The man then let them go. As they were leaving the cell, the white guy said: “You guys are lucky I’m white.” The black said: “No way! You guys are lucky I’m black!” And then the Asian guy yelled: “You guys are lucky I had a boner!” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

April 9th, 2018, 12:37 AM	#13276
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,807 Times in 9,416 Posts	A brunette goes into the doctor’s office and tells him that everywhere she touches, it hurts. “Impossible,” the doctor says. “Show me.” So the brunette touches her elbow and screams. Then she touches her knee and screams. Then she touches her ankle and screams. And this goes on until the doctor finally says, “You’re not really brunette, are you?” “No,” she says. “I’m naturally blonde.” “I thought so,” says the doctor. “Your finger is broken.” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

April 9th, 2018, 03:08 AM	#13277
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,807 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

April 9th, 2018, 05:40 PM	#13278
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,807 Times in 9,416 Posts	Two brothers enlisting in the Army were undergoing their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to see that both of the men possessed extraordinarily long penises. “How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers. “It’s hereditary, sir,” replied the older brother. “I see,” said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your father’s the reason for your elongated penises?” “No, sir, our mother.” “Your mother?” said the doctor. “Don’t be so ridiculous! Women don’t have penises!” “I know, sir,” replied the recruit, “but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could.” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

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April 6th, 2018, 10:02 PM	#13271
AmateurEmale Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The 513 Posts: 1,825 Thanks: 16,644 Thanked 15,794 Times in 1,755 Posts	Tribute bands that have a chance at rock stardom: Sepultallica [Brazil meets West Coast thrash metal] MINXS [Midnight Oil and INXS cover band?] Armored Snake [John Bush and David Coverdale are offended by the condom reference...]

April 6th, 2018, 11:20 PM	#13273
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts	An actual conversation with a colleague at work. Colleague:" That Eric Bristow didn't do that well. He only managed to get to 60" Me: "Why, what did he require?"