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September 12th, 2017, 12:12 AM | #1171 |
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A transgender man with terminal cancer visits his doctor knowing he has only 9 months left to live.
"Doctor, all my life I've wondered what it would be like to be pregnant. Can you make my wish come true?" The doctor thinks for a while and then says, "Yes, given your condition I think I can make that happen" The patient is delighted and the operation is set for the following week. As he comes round from the aneasthetic the first face he sees is the doctor's. "Will I now find out what it's like to be pregnant?" The Doctor smiled and said, "You should do, I've sewn your arse up."
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September 15th, 2017, 02:24 PM | #1172 |
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It's quiz night at the pub, and one team is a man short to enter. There's a guy at the bar on his own, so they decide to ask him of he wants to join them.
After introductions talk turns to work and it turns out the new guy is on the bins. Then the quiz starts and the new guy is a revelation, art, science, literature, history, this guy knows the answer to most of the questions. They end up winning the quiz, and having split the prize money, they get chatting again as they celebrate. "With all that knowledge you must be able to get a better job than binman" "Well I used to be a gynacologist, but I gave it up." "Why?" "I wanted to do something less disgusting." "What! So you chose garbage over being a doctor?" "Think about it, most of my patients were either old or infected, often both." "But still, it can't have been that bad." "You ever pulled open a grilled cheese sandwich?"
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September 15th, 2017, 06:02 PM | #1173 |
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Since this is getting to be a little more gynecological:
Q. What's grosser than gross? A. A Bloody Mary with a string attached. |
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September 16th, 2017, 01:02 AM | #1174 |
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If you listen to hard rock bands from the '80s, it's hair metal.
If you listen to them while looking at Playboy, it's hare metal. And if you are a polygamist, it's harem metal! Last edited by AmateurEmale; September 16th, 2017 at 01:02 AM.. Reason: typo |
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September 16th, 2017, 08:45 PM | #1175 | |
Banned!
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Quote:
Besides, Heaven is where all the religious nuts are. You think they're a pain in the ass down here, imagine every religious nut that ever lived all at once. Hell's starting to sound pretty good, eh? |
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September 17th, 2017, 07:44 AM | #1176 |
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Welcome to Hell! Tonights Social - Reminiscing Old Times with your Exes.
Colonoscopys will follow the social. Last edited by Arturo2nd; September 17th, 2017 at 07:48 AM.. Reason: addition |
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September 17th, 2017, 11:01 AM | #1177 |
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My first visit to Harlem went well.
Until I disrobed. |
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September 18th, 2017, 05:40 PM | #1178 |
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Why is it Jesse Jackson never got the black vote ? ,
He promised to create jobs for them if elected president. What`s better than an eager eighteen year old ? , Two drugged nine year olds. What do you call a black hitchhiker ? , Forever stranded.
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September 21st, 2017, 01:50 PM | #1179 |
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The missing minutes of the Nixon tapes
explains how former President Nixon saved the whole world from an alien attack and how the whole Watergate was a clever cover up. Last edited by ball7; September 21st, 2017 at 03:16 PM.. |
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September 21st, 2017, 04:42 PM | #1180 |
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Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell
Do you know why I stopped dating transvestites ? ,
They`re harder to beat up than regular women. My best mate complained about the actors in the porno I lent him having pixilated faces , Well didn't think he`d have enjoyed it as much if knew it was me with his mum.
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