Help- Self Defence Disciplines?

**KingKeigh** · August 17th, 2011, 04:50 AM

You should try something like: "You're FIRED!!" I bet you'll get his attention real quick then. He'll be so afraid of a bad recommendation, he'll change his tune real quick. No sense taking boxing lessons for a month just for this lame. But if you're interested in self-defense but you're not a confrontational type of guy, defensive styles like aikido, judo or wing chun may be up you're ally. Also a korean style called kook sul won is very effective.

**billybunter** · August 17th, 2011, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewelman

Hi , I have recently been physically intimidated by somebody at work, someone who I am supposed to be manager of. Luckily my work has said his contract will not be renewed after this month but it has made me come to a decision. I have long been far too afraid of physical confrontation and unable to stand up to bullies like this guy. I am looking to start going to classes which will teach me some basic self defence skills which make me more confident in situations like this. I was wondering if any contributors on here could offer any advice on the best discipline to get lessons in, boxing, karate, judo or something else?

Depends on fittness. I learned how to box when I was 13. So I could defend myself as i'm a short arse. Judo is a great sport as well. But lots of leisure centres run self defence classes. Check out your local area.

j6251 · August 17th, 2011, 08:51 AM

I'm sorry but I have to ask it, did you do anything at all to get this person all fired up in the first place? I've known many a manager/superviser in my time who just couldn't give a damn and witnessed so many managers pushing employee's beyond what's reasonable within a job for the sake of hitting monthly "targets". You haven't really provided a full picture of what occurred, I'm not saying you should either, but there's always two sides to every story.

However, if this person did indeed threaten you physically and not just become verbally disagreeable (regardless of something you may've said or done to prompt his response), he's crossed the line legally and you should have followed procedure and if the situation required it, fire the individual involved immediately.

No martial arts are needed when you apply the law! I recommend you seek advice along a more legal line (internal and external to your job) as to what your stand point is in regard to firing this person outright or at least, put on some sort of company report (with a view to an eventual firing).

If you want a more defensive martial art, you should find a Jui Jitsu class. It's not as popular as karate etc but is a very defensive disipline involving how to "disable" your opponent and nullify their attacks by way of grapples, locks, holds and take-downs, it's all about immoblising the attack. No punching or kicking really involved here and can be applied by anyone of any size and it's an art that works in the real world and you don't need a Bruce Lee physique! So even if you're only a 5 foot tall avergae guy, you can eventually learn how to take down a 6' 6" thug! I've seen it many a time. Like Judo but with less "wrestling".

Goodluck with what you do, but really, you should have this guy fired and save yourself the class fee's to a martial arts class then treat yourself with that money!

**Warren G** · August 17th, 2011, 09:37 AM

Truthfuly, jewelman, I think you just need to get really pissed off. It don't sound like you've got time to learn how to be Chuck Norris for this guy. I mean, it ain't a gunfight..it's just a fight. You don't have to instigate anything, but if he starts some shit with you...go apeshit on him. Get up in that ass, you know? The worst that could happen is he might slap you around a little, but at least you'll know you didn't punk out and showed some balls and you'll have your self respect. And his, too, believe me. Don't worry about it, just jump in there and kick some ass.

**billybunter** · August 17th, 2011, 09:40 AM

Keep a diary of every incident. You might be able to take legal action.

jewelman · August 17th, 2011, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by j6251

I'm sorry but I have to ask it, did you do anything at all to get this person all fired up in the first place? I've known many a manager/superviser in my time who just couldn't give a damn and witnessed so many managers pushing employee's beyond what's reasonable within a job for the sake of hitting monthly "targets". You haven't really provided a full picture of what occurred, I'm not saying you should either, but there's always two sides to every story.

However, if this person did indeed threaten you physically and not just become verbally disagreeable (regardless of something you may've said or done to prompt his response), he's crossed the line legally and you should have followed procedure and if the situation required it, fire the individual involved immediately.

No martial arts are needed when you apply the law! I recommend you seek advice along a more legal line (internal and external to your job) as to what your stand point is in regard to firing this person outright or at least, put on some sort of company report (with a view to an eventual firing)

I agree with you that many managers do push staff to the brink with poor people skills and unrealistic target demands. However in this case this man wasn't doing the jobs he was asked to in his section and was putting unfair pressure on the others with him in his team. The other 3 people who worked with him all asked to speak with me and complained about him. On these 3 different days I asked him in a private room if he needed more training to help him but he insisted no and I explained to him again the priorities of the desk and he said it would be no problem and he could perform his tasks comfortably. The 4th time I had a complaint about him was from another section of the office I again asked to see him alone. As I explained to him this time I felt he definitely needed more training before being left himself he threw his chair across the room and said If I pulled him up again he would smash my face in. He is a very angry character and I was really unsettled at his aggression. It is the first problem I've had of this kind since being a manager and in fact my boss has said to me several times I am far too soft but i just think it's best to help people along rather than annoy them. As for having to take Legal action I don't want to take things that far. He was only on a temporary contract and The people who decide on such matters have decided his contract won't be renewed after the end of the month. So the idea to learn some self defence skills isn't really for handling this guy but to help me feel more confident if anything similar arises in the future.

**billybunter** · August 17th, 2011, 01:25 PM

Your boss is at fault here. He should have fired him for his outbursts, using the legal procedure.
If he throws a chair again tell him you are going to report him to your boss and if needed call the police. He is just a coward.
You have a right as a person to work without harassment. I can't teach you how to box online, but you can do it somewhere near you mate.

BB

**billybunter** · August 17th, 2011, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewelman

Thanks Billy. Luckily I booked a day off today and I got in touch with a boxing trainer my Dad has been friendly with for years. I have asked him for some training and he said I can go down on Thursday night and he will start me off then. He is great guy and my Dad wanted me to go to him when I was 15 but I couldn't ever see myself ever wanting to fight or hit anyone so I didn't go. I was right in a way as I have never hit anyone in my life at 31 but my Dad was right as usual and it would have been good for me to go back then. He is going to start me with some basics, he says once he spent time with me I'll feel a lot more confident very quickly. Thanks again.

Boxing is a discipline. And you will walk it mate. Bullys are not boxers.

BB

j6251 · August 17th, 2011, 01:31 PM

Well, thanks for the update, but I don't think you need martial art skills at all here, I honestly think you need a course or two yourself. Please try not to take this the wrong way, I'm not meaning to sound unsupportive and bring you down further, you're obviously a nice easy going person, but from what you've just explained there, it kinda shows you're not always confident in people managment, even though you're very knowledgable within your job, it's assertive people skills you need to improve upon, not self defence skills! Your boss may be right from a certain point of view and having to talk to that individual who became agressive as many times as you did, would've looked as though you were singling him out if you'd had a word as often as you've said, I've known nutters to feel agressive like this myself. In hind sight, you should've been more direct, assertive and clear about what he's there to do and his duties and the concequences of not performing within the remit of his contract, and mean it. You should never have got to the point of saying 3 and 4 times to him to pull his weight, you should've made it clear in step 1, especially if he was only on a temporary contract and a part time type grunt.

If you're in a supervisery/managerial role, you're not out to be anyone's "friend" all the time, this can be a big mistake. Sure, you're not out to get on anyones bad side either, but you must assert your authority within the role and not be so concerned with how you're coming across and taking the easy going chummy approach to avoid confrontation, people under you won't respect you for this and you won't improve your own confidence!

Honestly, ask your employers to fund you a course if possible. It's this area you're unconfident in. Fix that and you'll find there's no need to be insecure and think in terms of martial arts! Next time you get a tricky one to deal with, have 2 or 3 other people in the room as support and witnesses to what goes on. You really shouldn't be thinking in terms of - if I can punch them in the face better then I'll feel more confident.

I hope you sort it out, one way or the other!

August 17th, 2011, 02:08 AM	#1
jewelman Senior Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: UK Posts: 193 Thanks: 3,178 Thanked 3,779 Times in 189 Posts	Help- Self Defence Disciplines? Hi Last edited by jewelman; May 3rd, 2013 at 01:43 PM..

August 17th, 2011, 04:50 AM	#2
KingKeigh Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Southern NJ Posts: 514 Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,536 Times in 512 Posts	You should try something like: "You're FIRED!!" I bet you'll get his attention real quick then. He'll be so afraid of a bad recommendation, he'll change his tune real quick. No sense taking boxing lessons for a month just for this lame. But if you're interested in self-defense but you're not a confrontational type of guy, defensive styles like aikido, judo or wing chun may be up you're ally. Also a korean style called kook sul won is very effective. Last edited by KingKeigh; August 17th, 2011 at 05:30 AM..

August 17th, 2011, 08:51 AM	#4
j6251 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 278 Thanks: 1,973 Thanked 2,637 Times in 237 Posts	I'm sorry but I have to ask it, did you do anything at all to get this person all fired up in the first place? I've known many a manager/superviser in my time who just couldn't give a damn and witnessed so many managers pushing employee's beyond what's reasonable within a job for the sake of hitting monthly "targets". You haven't really provided a full picture of what occurred, I'm not saying you should either, but there's always two sides to every story. However, if this person did indeed threaten you physically and not just become verbally disagreeable (regardless of something you may've said or done to prompt his response), he's crossed the line legally and you should have followed procedure and if the situation required it, fire the individual involved immediately. No martial arts are needed when you apply the law! I recommend you seek advice along a more legal line (internal and external to your job) as to what your stand point is in regard to firing this person outright or at least, put on some sort of company report (with a view to an eventual firing). If you want a more defensive martial art, you should find a Jui Jitsu class. It's not as popular as karate etc but is a very defensive disipline involving how to "disable" your opponent and nullify their attacks by way of grapples, locks, holds and take-downs, it's all about immoblising the attack. No punching or kicking really involved here and can be applied by anyone of any size and it's an art that works in the real world and you don't need a Bruce Lee physique! So even if you're only a 5 foot tall avergae guy, you can eventually learn how to take down a 6' 6" thug! I've seen it many a time. Like Judo but with less "wrestling". Goodluck with what you do, but really, you should have this guy fired and save yourself the class fee's to a martial arts class then treat yourself with that money! __________________ Hit the THANKS button out of appreciation, but also to remind yourself of the things you've already downloaded! Please PM me for any links of mine that may be dead if you're wanting a file. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by j6251; August 17th, 2011 at 09:21 AM..

August 17th, 2011, 09:40 AM	#6
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	Keep a diary of every incident. You might be able to take legal action. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 17th, 2011, 01:25 PM	#8
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	Your boss is at fault here. He should have fired him for his outbursts, using the legal procedure. If he throws a chair again tell him you are going to report him to your boss and if needed call the police. He is just a coward. You have a right as a person to work without harassment. I can't teach you how to box online, but you can do it somewhere near you mate. BB __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 17th, 2011, 09:37 AM	#5
Warren G Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 1,473 Thanks: 5,632 Thanked 32,250 Times in 1,479 Posts	Truthfuly, jewelman, I think you just need to get really pissed off. It don't sound like you've got time to learn how to be Chuck Norris for this guy. I mean, it ain't a gunfight..it's just a fight. You don't have to instigate anything, but if he starts some shit with you...go apeshit on him. Get up in that ass, you know? The worst that could happen is he might slap you around a little, but at least you'll know you didn't punk out and showed some balls and you'll have your self respect. And his, too, believe me. Don't worry about it, just jump in there and kick some ass.

August 17th, 2011, 01:31 PM	#10
j6251 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 278 Thanks: 1,973 Thanked 2,637 Times in 237 Posts	Well, thanks for the update, but I don't think you need martial art skills at all here, I honestly think you need a course or two yourself. Please try not to take this the wrong way, I'm not meaning to sound unsupportive and bring you down further, you're obviously a nice easy going person, but from what you've just explained there, it kinda shows you're not always confident in people managment, even though you're very knowledgable within your job, it's assertive people skills you need to improve upon, not self defence skills! Your boss may be right from a certain point of view and having to talk to that individual who became agressive as many times as you did, would've looked as though you were singling him out if you'd had a word as often as you've said, I've known nutters to feel agressive like this myself. In hind sight, you should've been more direct, assertive and clear about what he's there to do and his duties and the concequences of not performing within the remit of his contract, and mean it. You should never have got to the point of saying 3 and 4 times to him to pull his weight, you should've made it clear in step 1, especially if he was only on a temporary contract and a part time type grunt. If you're in a supervisery/managerial role, you're not out to be anyone's "friend" all the time, this can be a big mistake. Sure, you're not out to get on anyones bad side either, but you must assert your authority within the role and not be so concerned with how you're coming across and taking the easy going chummy approach to avoid confrontation, people under you won't respect you for this and you won't improve your own confidence! Honestly, ask your employers to fund you a course if possible. It's this area you're unconfident in. Fix that and you'll find there's no need to be insecure and think in terms of martial arts! Next time you get a tricky one to deal with, have 2 or 3 other people in the room as support and witnesses to what goes on. You really shouldn't be thinking in terms of - if I can punch them in the face better then I'll feel more confident. I hope you sort it out, one way or the other! __________________ Hit the THANKS button out of appreciation, but also to remind yourself of the things you've already downloaded! Please PM me for any links of mine that may be dead if you're wanting a file. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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