What do women want ? - Page 2

MaxJoker · November 11th, 2008, 08:58 AM

Seriously !

You know i`m sure the VAST majority of women are perfectly delightful and consistently reasonable people , it`s just that i've yet to meet one of those. Take last night for instance , where i got the look ,the complain filled sigh then the frosty turn merely because i`m unable to read another's thoughts. Thing is that`s probably quite hard to do at the best of times , but if you`re having to work two jobs and are kinda beat it`s hardly surprising if your brain forgets to remind you the woman beside (Herself) is waiting for you to ask how the semi-important meeting with her colleague went.

Fellow forum-ers i`m giving serious consideration towards forming my own charity for emotionally traumatized men

The Peace of Mind Society

Or PMS for sort

MaxJoker · May 18th, 2009, 12:01 PM

Here`s the top ten things we men know about women

1) They always keep you waiting , for everything
2) They only want to talk when they want to talk , anything else is an invasion of their quiet space
3) They hardly ever listen to our advice , yet still like to use us as their moral, mental and emotional support systems
4) They withhold sex , yet don't want us to use porn
5) They ask us how we`re feeling , wherein we then have to quickly judge how they`re feeling and whether they can handle our answer or not
6) They love to shop , preferably with us as pack animal and mobile bank teller
7) They enjoy talking to their girlfriends about everything we've ever said or done , yet want discussions between us to remain a mystery to our own friends
8) They buy makeup they never use and clothes they never wear , oh and try to store them at my flat
9) They want to watch trash TV with us and read even trashier glossy magazine stories out to us , yet won`t sit through a single minute of Rising Damp or debate whether or not the new Green Lantern film should star the guy who plays Kirk (I say no)
10) They always want to plan things in advance such as dinner parties , evenings out , our wedding , you know ,the usual

So in summation , women are self obsessed yet have what we need . Still that`s what we know about them , now let`s see just what they know about us

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)

The defense rests

beezer60 · May 18th, 2009, 12:37 PM

This would be my ex's list:

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other

**blondifan** · May 18th, 2009, 12:48 PM

a pulse

avidfan · May 18th, 2009, 02:37 PM

in the words of good charlotte...

Educated With Money
He's well dressed; Not funny
And Not Much to say in most conversation
But He'll foot The Bill in all situations
'Cause He Pays For Everything

Girls Don't Like Boys.
Girls Like Cars And Money
Boys Will Laugh At Girls When They're Not Funny

Paper or Plastic.
Don't Matter She'll have it
Vacations and shopping sprees
These are a few of her favorite things
She'll Get What She wants if She is Willing To Please.
His Type of Girl Always Comes With A Fee
Hey Now There's Nothing For Free

Girls Don't Like Boys,
Girls Like Cars And Money
Boys Will Laugh At Girls When They're Not Funny

And These Girls Like These Boys, Like These Boys Like These Girls
The Girls With the Bodies Like Boys With Ferraris
Girls Don't Like Boys,
Girls Like Cars And Money

Lets Go...

Girls Don't Like Boys,
Girls Like Cars And Money
Boys Will Laugh At Girls When Theyre Not Funny

And These Girls Like These Boys, Like These Boys Like These Girls
The Girls With the Bodies Like Boys With Ferraris
Girls Don't Like Boys,
Girls Like Cars And Money

All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are
Losing Their Souls In a Material World...
All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are
Losing Their Souls In a Material World...
All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are
Losing Their Souls In a Material World...
All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are
Losing Their Souls In a Material World...

**scoundrel** · May 19th, 2009, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beezer60

This would be my ex's list:

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other

''Gentlemen!'' Raises wine glass. ''To our wives and sweethearts''. Drinks. Pause. ''May they never meet!''

Russell Crowe as Captain Jack Aubrey.
Master and Commander, The Far Side of the World.

Mars and Venus aren't so far apart.

**BigBucket** · June 11th, 2009, 12:31 AM

I'm so happy im a batchelor.

Only had one Gf 20 15 years ago but she lived miles away and it drifted apart.

Good thing is i can admire female flesh without having to hide it too much or feel guilty about it. if i had good looks and a dick that could shoot down planes i'd happily do porn. i have no one to worry about it.

i'd get my oates without the baggage. A bit cold i know but truthful.

i'm one of those guys the emotional connetion to marry and procreate just isnt there.

**BigBucket** · June 11th, 2009, 12:37 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze64b...eature=related

NWA's infamous Bitch iz a Bitch.

WARNING: SWEARING! Very rude, very true, Very funny!

snorkie · June 11th, 2009, 01:35 PM

That said, here are a couple of lines from a small movie called "the Personals." The scene is a crowded pick-up bar:

"I'm not that tall. I happen to be sitting on my wallet."

(Spoken loudly) "Do you know if they tow Porsche's around here?"

Talk about serendipity, I just got an email from my brother called "The new Ferrari." Be sure to enlarge the second photo.

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

WHAT IT DOES:

View Poll Results: What do women really want ?
Money , preferably ours	112	72.26%
A massive throbbing ,warm personality	6	3.87%
Us to have a great sense of humour , so we can laugh along when they make jokes at our expense	13	8.39%
Us to look like film stars , while they can look like bags of cottage cheese	6	3.87%
Our own home , preferably soon to be signed over to them	56	36.13%
For us to listen to them , but never judge	18	11.61%
Eyes only for them , and their mean spirited hearts	9	5.81%
No spine and a constantly nodding head	5	3.23%
All of the above and much much more	155	100.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 155. You may not vote on this poll

November 11th, 2008, 08:58 AM	#12
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,581 Times in 69,067 Posts	Telepathy Seriously ! You know i`m sure the VAST majority of women are perfectly delightful and consistently reasonable people , it`s just that i've yet to meet one of those. Take last night for instance , where i got the look ,the complain filled sigh then the frosty turn merely because i`m unable to read another's thoughts. Thing is that`s probably quite hard to do at the best of times , but if you`re having to work two jobs and are kinda beat it`s hardly surprising if your brain forgets to remind you the woman beside (Herself) is waiting for you to ask how the semi-important meeting with her colleague went. Fellow forum-ers i`m giving serious consideration towards forming my own charity for emotionally traumatized men The Peace of Mind Society Or PMS for sort __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 18th, 2009, 12:01 PM	#13
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,581 Times in 69,067 Posts	This threads slip sliding away ? .Hell no i say ! Here`s the top ten things we men know about women 1) They always keep you waiting , for everything 2) They only want to talk when they want to talk , anything else is an invasion of their quiet space 3) They hardly ever listen to our advice , yet still like to use us as their moral, mental and emotional support systems 4) They withhold sex , yet don't want us to use porn 5) They ask us how we`re feeling , wherein we then have to quickly judge how they`re feeling and whether they can handle our answer or not 6) They love to shop , preferably with us as pack animal and mobile bank teller 7) They enjoy talking to their girlfriends about everything we've ever said or done , yet want discussions between us to remain a mystery to our own friends 8) They buy makeup they never use and clothes they never wear , oh and try to store them at my flat 9) They want to watch trash TV with us and read even trashier glossy magazine stories out to us , yet won`t sit through a single minute of Rising Damp or debate whether or not the new Green Lantern film should star the guy who plays Kirk (I say no) 10) They always want to plan things in advance such as dinner parties , evenings out , our wedding , you know ,the usual So in summation , women are self obsessed yet have what we need . Still that`s what we know about them , now let`s see just what they know about us 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) The defense rests __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 11th, 2009, 01:35 PM	#20
snorkie Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Gizmonics Institute Posts: 521 Thanks: 2,711 Thanked 4,566 Times in 510 Posts	Dude, I can't even decide what I want! That said, here are a couple of lines from a small movie called "the Personals." The scene is a crowded pick-up bar: "I'm not that tall. I happen to be sitting on my wallet." (Spoken loudly) "Do you know if they tow Porsche's around here?" Talk about serendipity, I just got an email from my brother called "The new Ferrari." Be sure to enlarge the second photo. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE: WHAT IT DOES:

July 2nd, 2008, 08:08 AM	#11
Lena Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 299 Thanks: 291 Thanked 8,118 Times in 228 Posts

May 18th, 2009, 12:37 PM	#14
beezer60 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 245 Thanks: 930 Thanked 9,642 Times in 241 Posts	This would be my ex's list: 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you 4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you 5. It is important that these four men don't know each other

May 18th, 2009, 12:48 PM	#15
blondifan Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 4,406 Thanks: 55,001 Thanked 60,211 Times in 4,401 Posts	a pulse

May 18th, 2009, 02:37 PM	#16
avidfan Blocked! Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 171 Thanks: 164 Thanked 390 Times in 120 Posts	in the words of good charlotte... Educated With Money He's well dressed; Not funny And Not Much to say in most conversation But He'll foot The Bill in all situations 'Cause He Pays For Everything Girls Don't Like Boys. Girls Like Cars And Money Boys Will Laugh At Girls When They're Not Funny Paper or Plastic. Don't Matter She'll have it Vacations and shopping sprees These are a few of her favorite things She'll Get What She wants if She is Willing To Please. His Type of Girl Always Comes With A Fee Hey Now There's Nothing For Free Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls Like Cars And Money Boys Will Laugh At Girls When They're Not Funny And These Girls Like These Boys, Like These Boys Like These Girls The Girls With the Bodies Like Boys With Ferraris Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls Like Cars And Money Lets Go... Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls Like Cars And Money Boys Will Laugh At Girls When Theyre Not Funny And These Girls Like These Boys, Like These Boys Like These Girls The Girls With the Bodies Like Boys With Ferraris Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls Like Cars And Money All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are Losing Their Souls In a Material World... All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are Losing Their Souls In a Material World... All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are Losing Their Souls In a Material World... All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are Losing Their Souls In a Material World...

June 11th, 2009, 12:31 AM	#18
BigBucket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The United Kingdom of Oppressed Peoples. Posts: 783 Thanks: 5,453 Thanked 11,405 Times in 770 Posts	I'm so happy im a batchelor. Only had one Gf 20 15 years ago but she lived miles away and it drifted apart. Good thing is i can admire female flesh without having to hide it too much or feel guilty about it. if i had good looks and a dick that could shoot down planes i'd happily do porn. i have no one to worry about it. i'd get my oates without the baggage. A bit cold i know but truthful. i'm one of those guys the emotional connetion to marry and procreate just isnt there.

June 11th, 2009, 12:37 AM	#19
BigBucket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The United Kingdom of Oppressed Peoples. Posts: 783 Thanks: 5,453 Thanked 11,405 Times in 770 Posts	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze64b...eature=related NWA's infamous Bitch iz a Bitch. WARNING: SWEARING! Very rude, very true, Very funny!