Porn production "pet hates"

[Toxic Dog]

Originally Posted by pwwp

Dumbest thing: cutting to watch the guy's face during orgasm. Hey, who the hell cares? In some films from the 80s, they actually cut away fro the c*mshot itself so you could see the face contortions of some total loser like John Leslie or Jerry Butler. WTF?? Dear pornproducers: people who want to see the guy, can rent gay porn. Keep the camera on the girl. Period.

Absolutely - that's another bad habit of some porn directors.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: In porn, the male performers should be nothing more than life support machines for penises. "Essential props", if you will. They shouldn't be seen from above the chest, unless it's absolutely unavoidable - especially if they're sporting silly moustaches (people like Mike Horner, Rex Morrison and all those nameless, mulleted German blokes that plague a lot of '80s and '90s porn spring immediately to mind on that one). Porn should be about the GIRLS.

I also hate interminable genital close-ups. You've seen one - you've seen 'em all.

[dippystan]

For me there's a few things that just grate every time.* Okay, we know that the acting skills aren't going to worry Nicole Kidman but not editing out the pauses between lines or maybe letting them having a couple of run-throughs first just reminds me that I'm watching something thrown together in a bit of a rush.* And there's music thundering into a scene when it should be in the background, hardly noticeable.* Bizarre that.* Maybe it's to drown out the director telling the people on screen what to do next!

Why is it also mandatory to show in glorious close-up a bloke going in? I once saw a film where the director moved back and got a brilliant shot of the girl's face as she was taking a guy on the first stroke in. Incredibly erotic. Girls moaning their head off when the camera is showing them bored/doing their nails/asking the director about the next tea break does tend to ruin things a tad.

But number one anoyance is blatent pussy wetting. You know the bit, where a girl puts saliva on her hand to wipe it over herself so she's not too dry before taking some cock or a toy.* FFS! They could edit round this or cut and give her some lube to make her look wet.* Let's face it, if you were getting all hot and bothered with a girl and you take her knickers down to find she's drier than Ghandi's sandals then you'd feel a bit let down, so why can't they get that bit right?* * *

You know, maybe we could have a thread here and do a filmscript.* I'm pretty sure it would be way better than anything doing the rounds right now.* It'd be hilarious if nothing else!

[Jism Jim]

Originally Posted by dippystan

a girl puts saliva on her hand to wipe it over herself so she's not too dry before taking some cock

Or worse: a guy putting his saliva on his hand to wet her pussy. If you want to put your saliva on a girl's pussy, use your mouth and not your hands!

Other pet hates:

- fake sperm (I rather see no cumshot at all)
- girls keeping partial clothing on, like leaving their tops on their stomach
- guys with their shirts hanging in the way. Take it off!

[rachelx]

Good post, Dippystan.

I guess it all comes down to the fact that porn directors aren't too professional. They think as long as you put fucking on the screen, that that's enough. There are exceptions but most porn doesn't flow too smoothly, it's awkward in its editing and exhibits little eroticism. That said, there's nothing stopping anyone these days buying a sub-$1000 HD camera and editing their own movie on a standard PC. That side of things has never been easier.

Re the dry pussy, gives me a thought. Maybe the problem is that except for the biggest pornstars, a lot of these girls are hookers, dancers, etc., or part-timers with less than stable lives. Based upon that, we can't expect most porn to be anything other than a distraction. But when a good movie pops up we all remember it. A return to the days of using amateurs or debutantes who actually look like they're doing something new and dirty might be necessary. Fact is, porn starlets simply aren't good enough in the acting department to hide their boredom. Most of them have had more cock than you can shake a stick at and are just oohing and aahing for the cash.

Final point: I'm not sure that many directors understand what good, honest FILTH is anymore, and the best movies or scenes have that in spades. I'm guessing the average age of directors and producers has fallen since the 60s, meaning that a lot of movies are made by youngsters with little experience about how to fuck, let alone capture it on the screen.

About porn scripts: do they really have them? I doubt it, not in the non-porn sense, anyway. I'd have thought most movies were made with brief scene outlines at the most, and with the director setting everything else up as he went.

[kokorub]

I guess my only "hate" is when the actress looks into the camera (non POV intent). The one that comes to mind every time is Stephanie Hart-Rogers in "Lady in Spain". All she does is look at the camera and smile. Totally ruins any fantasy of her actually enjoying the encounter. She might as well be reading a book while getting plowed.

[dippystan]

I think you've hit several nails on the head there rachelx. On the subject of the people directing the flicks I often question whether their mind is actually on the job or if they're more thinking about getting it all down in one take and on a DVD or online as fast as possible to make some money. Maybe if they spent a bit more time thinking it all out they might make something memorable. On the same line of thought if the actors were involved a bit more than 'bend over and and stick your hand there luv' they might show a bit more enthusiasm too. But from what I can see the pressure's on to get a film made, out and generating cash rather than producing something to be proud of. Ho hum.

Maybe someone might know the answer to a question I have - how much does a run-of-the-mill film cost to make? I'd guess not a fat lot personally!

[EvilNick]

I agree with most of the above, but I think the thing that anoys me the most is dubbing.
It's not that I care about the dialog between the sex, but if I want to hear a girl fake an orgasm, can I at least get the right voice, not some chick in a studio.

[easypeasy]

got to agree about girls screaming like mad bitches while they arent even wet yet......... its so fake. good porn is good because people genuinely are having fun, it doesnt matter what they are wearing etc. hollywwood porn is really fucking dull in my view. it makes body hair out to be disgusting and the porn stars might as well be made of plastic.

[palomino]

As for Icarus46 and rachelX I'm very much in favour for girls wearing highheel-shoes !
But I have to stress: I'm not talking of these clonky platform-stuff which looks just ridiculous to me. My absolute turn-on are those elegant/feminine sandals and mules with a classic-shape high heel and flat soles...,Yummi !
Unfortunately, and this is where's my point:

I do constantly get the feeling that - esp. in US-American films - there seems to be an unwritten law against showing the girl's shoes; I've seen so many photo-stories or movies/clips ect. were the camera-man seems to have strict instructions to rather show the hair inside the man's nose but not to give away just one glimpse of the shoes...!!!!
I consider this personal now, it happened way to often to be just coincidential and it drives me nuts !!
The only exception to this rule seem to be platform-shoes, which I hate more than I can express in english,... these ugly thingies are no shoes to me but rather a very handy solution for the industry to get rid of it's plastic-waste !!!
Just to make sure you get my point; I don't want to see close-ups of feet in shoes all the time, I would be satisfied if the camera would cover the whole scene in a way that allwows to see the bodies of the participating people in full, where the shoes would appear just how they were initially meant to appear: as accessories !!!
It just makes me angry to see a beautiful girl wearing really hot and refined lingerie, perhaps even with seamed nylon-stockings..., and what's on her feet ???
2 1/2 tons of plastic !!!! Yucks !!!

Thanks to flat Eric to open up this thread; I just had to puke this out one day...!

Greetings to all,

Palomino

[jrk86]

fake moans and the girl talking rubbish, "fuck me harder , put that big cock up my ass "etc