Excuses for anything

Estreeter · May 10th, 2013, 02:46 PM

I had too go too work this afternoon for a meeting for an hour on a day off

Ruined my afternoon which earlier this week I thought I'd be spending having a round of golf

So, I came too the meeting late just too piss of my manager

Asked me why I was late, so I bullshitted, I just told him the car wouldn't start and being a company car it was their fault I was late, not mine

We've all used them, real or not, So what some new ones we could use when in a situation where one is needed for whatever,

Not showing up
Punctuality
Not paying attention
Murder

**luddite** · May 10th, 2013, 04:01 PM

The first three are covered by " I got lucky last night " (except with the wife} and the last one and many more are covered by " It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it "

MaxJoker · May 10th, 2013, 04:11 PM

My military career,

I was just obeying orders !.

Leaving before a cuddle afterwards ,

Hey it`d feel a little like cheating on the wife !.

That prosecution for queer bashing,

Whaaaaat so i can`t have a hobby !.

**NIN** · May 10th, 2013, 04:26 PM

One of Homer Simpsons' that I use all the time,

" It was like that when I got here"

Ariel Castro, (who's also being done for 'receiving')

" Hey, if I'd have known they were there I'd have charged rent"

One of my faves tho, was when a guy came late into our class @ college and when being asked why he was not here on time, he went into an elaborate story how, " he had stopped a pram from drifting into the road by a gust of strong wind & while being thanked by grateful mother & congratulated by the crowd that now surrounded him, his wallet was stolen and on his way to report the theft, an Alien craft beamed him aboard for an anal probe..
... and I thought , I'm gonna be late for college here "

Estreeter · May 10th, 2013, 05:32 PM

A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while

MaxJoker · May 10th, 2013, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while

A good excuse for her needing sex, right away with me

Hey you just ate , do you really want it all to go to that fat ass ?

**palo5** · May 11th, 2013, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while

Actually, you don't need an excuse. Just say you need to take a heavy sh*t first

**sweatyhat** · May 11th, 2013, 08:22 AM

I hate nosey parkers who think they've a right to an answer just for asking prying questions. With a smile on my face I tell them I'm off gassing badgers, which is less rude than saying @#$£ off. They usually get the message.

**RjG57** · May 17th, 2013, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while

I was thinking more along the lines of......................

'I don't have a paper bag handy'

but thinking of the consequences that would result I thought maybe something else would be more appropriate.

**sweatyhat** · May 10th, 2013, 04:23 PM

I got my arm stuck in the cornflakes packet looking for the plastic toy.

May 10th, 2013, 02:46 PM	#1
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,106 Thanks: 449,599 Thanked 896,736 Times in 60,308 Posts	Excuses for anything I had too go too work this afternoon for a meeting for an hour on a day off Ruined my afternoon which earlier this week I thought I'd be spending having a round of golf So, I came too the meeting late just too piss of my manager Asked me why I was late, so I bullshitted, I just told him the car wouldn't start and being a company car it was their fault I was late, not mine We've all used them, real or not, So what some new ones we could use when in a situation where one is needed for whatever, Not showing up Punctuality Not paying attention Murder __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 10th, 2013, 04:01 PM	#2
luddite Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: N.D.G. Posts: 1,375 Thanks: 104,140 Thanked 12,281 Times in 1,336 Posts	The first three are covered by " I got lucky last night " (except with the wife} and the last one and many more are covered by " It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it " __________________ *Meanwhile, back at the oasis, the arabs were eating their dates...*

May 10th, 2013, 04:11 PM	#3
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,511 Times in 69,067 Posts	Excuses for. My military career, I was just obeying orders !. Leaving before a cuddle afterwards , Hey it`d feel a little like cheating on the wife !. That prosecution for queer bashing, Whaaaaat so i can`t have a hobby !. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 10th, 2013, 04:26 PM	#4
NIN Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,823 Thanks: 200,569 Thanked 131,967 Times in 9,045 Posts	One of Homer Simpsons' that I use all the time, *" It was like that when I got here"* Ariel Castro, (who's also being done for 'receiving') *" Hey, if I'd have known they were there I'd have charged rent"* One of my faves tho, was when a guy came late into our class @ college and when being asked why he was not here on time, he went into an elaborate story how, " he had stopped a pram from drifting into the road by a gust of strong wind & while being thanked by grateful mother & congratulated by the crowd that now surrounded him, his wallet was stolen and on his way to report the theft, an Alien craft beamed him aboard for an anal probe.. ... and I thought , I'm gonna be late for college here "

May 10th, 2013, 05:32 PM	#5
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,106 Thanks: 449,599 Thanked 896,736 Times in 60,308 Posts	A good excuse for not wanting sex I just ate, gotta wait a while __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 11th, 2013, 08:22 AM	#8
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,901 Times in 10,563 Posts	I hate nosey parkers who think they've a right to an answer just for asking prying questions. With a smile on my face I tell them I'm off gassing badgers, which is less rude than saying @#$£ off. They usually get the message. __________________

May 10th, 2013, 04:23 PM	#10
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,901 Times in 10,563 Posts	I got my arm stuck in the cornflakes packet looking for the plastic toy. __________________

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