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March 11th, 2010, 04:23 PM | #511 |
Waggleton P. Tallylicker
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RoboCop
ED-209: [menacingly] Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply. Dick Jones: I think you better do as he says, Mr. Kinney. [Mr. Kinney drops the pistol on the floor] ED-209 advances, growling] ED-209: You now have 15 seconds to comply. [Mr. Kinney turns to Dick Jones, who looks nervous] ED-209: You are in direct violation of Penal Code 1.13, Section 9. [Entire room of people in full panic trying to stay out of the line of fire, especially Mr. Kinney] ED-209: You have 5 seconds to comply. Kinney: Help Help ! Help me! ED-209: Four... three... two... one... I am now authorized to use physical force! The Old Man: DICK ! I'm very disappointed. Dick Jones: I'm sure it's only a glitch. A temporary setback. The Old Man: You call this a GLITCH? [pause] The Old Man: We're scheduled to begin construction in 6 months. Your temporary setback could cost us 50 million dollars in interest payments alone! Bob Morton: What are your Prime Directives? RoboCop: Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law. Bob Morton: [looking at Robocop] You're gonna be a bad motherfu*ker! Bixby Snyder: I'd buy that for a dollar! |
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March 11th, 2010, 04:59 PM | #512 |
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That's just as well,because it's spanking season and I'm hankering for some spankering !-Homer Simpson
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March 11th, 2010, 10:52 PM | #513 |
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Football quotes
'If that had gone in, it would have been a goal.' - David Coleman
'Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil.' - Barry Davies I've seen them on television on a Sunday morning most days of the week.' - Jack Charlton I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - Ian Rush One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.' - Alan Shearer We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo And finally:--- 'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.' - David Beckham |
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March 14th, 2010, 06:46 PM | #514 |
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Drink quotes
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think About the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes And dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out Of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their Dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they Wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're Going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, We fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all Get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin "Without question, the greatest invention in the History of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the Wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does Not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." |
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March 16th, 2010, 05:32 AM | #515 |
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"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."
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March 17th, 2010, 02:08 PM | #516 |
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March 17th, 2010, 05:27 PM | #517 |
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Luca Brazzi sleeps with the fishes-The Godfather
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March 18th, 2010, 01:21 AM | #518 |
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March 18th, 2010, 05:51 AM | #519 |
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Groucho
"Baravelli you have the mind of a four year old, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it."
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March 18th, 2010, 07:41 PM | #520 |
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"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." - Dean Wormer
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