Lewd Limericks

[iufrenchman]

There once was a plumber from Leigh,
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea.
She said 'Stop your plumbing,
'There's somebody coming.'
'I know,' said the plumber,
'It's me.'

[iufrenchman]

There once was a man from Belfast
Whose balls were made of brass
When he ran through the hether
His balls clanged together
And lightning shot out of his ass.

[trellaocelot]

As spoken by Sir Guy Grand:

There was a young lady of Exeter
And all the men threw their sex at her.
Just to be rude
She lay in the nude!
While her parent, a pervert, took peeks at her!

[electile disfunction]

There was a young man of Chistlehurst
Who couldn't piss 'til he whistled first.
One day in June
He forgot his tune,
"Dum dee dada ...". And his bladder burst.



e.d.

[vierenweg]

There was a young wanker named Bert
Who played with his cock till it hurt:
Though longish and thick,
And hard as a brick,
Alas, it just wouldn't squirt!

[vierenweg]

There was a young lady from Leigh
Who wanked-off three times before tea:
At the drop of a hat,
She'd show you her twat -
Except when she needed to pee.

[vierenweg]

There once was a lady called Lumm,
Who liked a big cock up her bum -
She wanked like a trannie,
At her own fanny,
And always continued to cum!

[Estreeter]

Rub-a-dub-dub
Two sluts in a tub

I don't know, I just made that up and cant finish it off

[vierenweg]

Originally Posted by themidlander

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man on a punt
Grabbed hold of her leg
And said "You can't swim here it's private"

Doesn't quite work does it?
But subvert the medium that's what I say!

How about

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the nude;
A man in a punt
Grabbed hold of her cunt
And said, ""You can't swim here, it's rude."

[vierenweg]

Effie was never good-looking,
And most of her features need tucking;
But when she showed-off her twat,
Which was hairy and fat,
She always got a good fucking!