Post your corny jokes - Page 275

**Jonno71** · November 19th, 2011, 07:49 PM

BREAKING NEWS

Police were called into a hotel room in Los Angeles today after a maid in room service found the body of teenage singing sensation Justin Beiber.

Reports indicate that Julia Gonzalas of the Beverly Hills Hotel walked in and found Beiber sitting upright in bed and perfectly well and fine while playing with his lego.

A Police spokeman has said that Gonzalas is being cared for and will undergo theropy after discovering Beiber still alive.

**Jonno71** · November 19th, 2011, 07:56 PM

"Write a wise saying, and your name will live on forever"

Anonymous

**Jonno71** · November 19th, 2011, 07:58 PM

"The problem with using quotes off the internet is that one never knows if they are true"

William Shakespheare

**Jonno71** · November 19th, 2011, 08:02 PM

Jeremy Kyle's 12 Days of Christmas

12 cans of Carling
11 DNA tests
10 dads to choose from
9 teeth between them
8 squeezed in tracksuits
7 stinking smackrats
6 Dunlop trainers
5 stolen rings
4 fat slags
3 ugly bastards
2 timing c**ts

and a w**ker who parades them on TV

papabear3333 · November 19th, 2011, 09:13 PM

I don't know if this has been posted before but:

Why do little Polish girls put dead fish in their pants pockets?

So they can smell like older Polish girls.

**Jeff Vader** · November 19th, 2011, 09:24 PM

I told a girl on the train this morning that she'd drawn her eyebrows on too high.

She looked surprised.

papabear3333 · November 19th, 2011, 09:27 PM

Once you get past the smell you have it licked.

**Jeff Vader** · November 19th, 2011, 09:47 PM

Every time I go on holiday, my missus gets pregnant.

Next time, I'm taking her with me!

**cuzzyman927** · November 19th, 2011, 11:19 PM

Chinese proverb:

Confucious say, "Woman who flies upside down have crack up"

**Jeff Vader** · November 19th, 2011, 11:30 PM

What did the cheese say when he saw himself in the mirror?

Halloumi!

November 19th, 2011, 09:13 PM	#2745
papabear3333 Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 86 Thanks: 23,171 Thanked 863 Times in 79 Posts	Polish I don't know if this has been posted before but: Why do little Polish girls put dead fish in their pants pockets? So they can smell like older Polish girls.

November 19th, 2011, 09:24 PM	#2746
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	I told a girl on the train this morning that she'd drawn her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

November 19th, 2011, 09:27 PM	#2747
papabear3333 Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 86 Thanks: 23,171 Thanked 863 Times in 79 Posts	And a related issue Once you get past the smell you have it licked.

November 19th, 2011, 09:47 PM	#2748
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	Every time I go on holiday, my missus gets pregnant. Next time, I'm taking her with me! __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

November 19th, 2011, 11:30 PM	#2750
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	What did the cheese say when he saw himself in the mirror? Halloumi! __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

November 19th, 2011, 07:49 PM	#2741
Jonno71 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Right here... Right now. Posts: 1,497 Thanks: 8,831 Thanked 75,959 Times in 1,503 Posts	BREAKING NEWS Police were called into a hotel room in Los Angeles today after a maid in room service found the body of teenage singing sensation Justin Beiber. Reports indicate that Julia Gonzalas of the Beverly Hills Hotel walked in and found Beiber sitting upright in bed and perfectly well and fine while playing with his lego. A Police spokeman has said that Gonzalas is being cared for and will undergo theropy after discovering Beiber still alive.

November 19th, 2011, 07:56 PM	#2742
Jonno71 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Right here... Right now. Posts: 1,497 Thanks: 8,831 Thanked 75,959 Times in 1,503 Posts	"Write a wise saying, and your name will live on forever" Anonymous

November 19th, 2011, 07:58 PM	#2743
Jonno71 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Right here... Right now. Posts: 1,497 Thanks: 8,831 Thanked 75,959 Times in 1,503 Posts	"The problem with using quotes off the internet is that one never knows if they are true" William Shakespheare

November 19th, 2011, 08:02 PM	#2744
Jonno71 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Right here... Right now. Posts: 1,497 Thanks: 8,831 Thanked 75,959 Times in 1,503 Posts	Jeremy Kyle's 12 Days of Christmas 12 cans of Carling 11 DNA tests 10 dads to choose from 9 teeth between them 8 squeezed in tracksuits 7 stinking smackrats 6 Dunlop trainers 5 stolen rings 4 fat slags 3 ugly bastards 2 timing cts and a wker who parades them on TV

November 19th, 2011, 11:19 PM	#2749
cuzzyman927 Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Down at the "Y" Posts: 33,073 Thanks: 390,390 Thanked 1,111,470 Times in 36,682 Posts	Chinese proverb: Confucious say, "Woman who flies upside down have crack up"