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Old August 8th, 2015, 02:52 PM   #3611
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Ben Carson from the first debate.

"I haven't said anything about me being the only one to do anything, so let me try that." Carson quipped that he was "the only one to take out half of a brain, although you would think, if you go to Washington, that someone had beat me to it."
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Old August 8th, 2015, 08:36 PM   #3612
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"She was a proper woman!
She had bleached hair with black bits!"


Dai the barman, Satellite City




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Old August 8th, 2015, 09:56 PM   #3613
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Default about gordie howe

Speaking about the National Hockey League (before expansion there were only six teams) Dave Keon said " The weak teams are Boston and New York. The strong ones are Toronto, Chicago, Montreal and Gordie Howe."

I've also heard a slightly different version "Monday we play Boston. Thursday we play New York. Saturday we play Gordie Howe"

For those who aren't familiar with north American hockey in the 50's 60's and 70's take a few minutes to watch this tribute to Gordie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUwh3WmxbzI
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Old August 9th, 2015, 04:16 AM   #3614
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From Chopper



Neville Bartos "There's no cash here. Here there's no cash, alright? Cash *no*, Robbo?"
Robbo "No cash."


That's two nominations I've made itt, and they're both from the same actor. Vince Colosimo.
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Old August 9th, 2015, 10:47 AM   #3615
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Old August 9th, 2015, 04:53 PM   #3616
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Default Been in front of your PC for hours on end? ... This applies to you as well then

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Old August 9th, 2015, 10:09 PM   #3617
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I went to visit the opticians recently and she told me I had to stop wanking. I asked if it was going to send me blind? She replied no you're just upsetting the other customers!
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Old August 10th, 2015, 04:56 PM   #3618
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Lightbulb Rupert Murdoch



Money is not the motivating force. It's nice to have money, but I don't live high. What I enjoy is running the business.


I felt that it's best just to be as transparent as possible.


I would like to be remembered, if I am remembered at all, as being a catalyst for change in the world, change for good.


I'm considered homophobic and crazy about these things and old fashioned. But I think that the family - father, mother, children - is fundamental to our civilisation.


The buck stops with the guy who signs the checks.


I'm not ashamed of any of my papers at all and I'm rather sick of snobs that tell us that they're bad papers, snobs who only read papers that no one else wants. I doubt if they read many papers at all.


Satellite broadcasting makes it possible for information-hungry residents of many closed societies to bypass state-controlled television channels.


When you're a catalyst for change, you make enemies - and I'm proud of the ones I've got.


As an immigrant, I chose to live in America because it is one of the freest and most vibrant nations in the world. And as an immigrant, I feel an obligation to speak up for immigration policies that will keep America the most economically robust, creative and freedom-loving nation in the world.


I'm not a knee-jerk conservative. I passionately believe in free markets and less government, but not to the point of being a libertarian.


I feel that people I trusted - I don't know who, on what level - have let me down, and I think they have behaved disgracefully, and it's for them to pay. And I think, frankly, that I'm the best person to see it through.


I am amazed that CNN can't get its act together.

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Old August 11th, 2015, 01:24 PM   #3619
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Lightbulb Rudolf Hess



National Socialism would have every German decide for himself on spiritual questions, just as in the days of Frederick the Great. The National Socialist state gives to the church what belongs to the church, and to the state what belongs to the state.

I hope that the outside world will realise that Hitler's government has no idea of steering towards war, even though this has often been asserted abroad. As Adolf Hitler himself has said, Germany has no need of another war to avenge the loss of her military honour, because she never lost that honour. Germany does not want war of any kind. Germany wants real and abiding peace.

The dogmatist will listen to everyone's opinion, and then affirm to himself his godliness.

Woe to the people that fails to honor its heroes! It will cease producing them, cease knowing them. Heroes spring from the essence of their people. A people without heroes is a people without leaders, for only a heroic leader is a true leader able to withstand the challenge of difficult times.

We all believe we have found the finest of diktat that applies our perfect future, but do we believe the world needs referees.

My coming to England in this way is, as I realize, so unusual that nobody will easily understand it. I was confronted by a very hard decision. I do not think I could have arrived at my final choice unless I had continually kept before my eyes the vision of an endless line of children's coffins with weeping mothers behind them, both English and German, and another line of coffins of mothers with mourning children.

Certainly, I signed a statement that I killed two and a half million Jews. But I could just as well have said that it was five million Jews. There are certain methods by which any confession can be obtained, whether it is true or not.

History is not ended. It will sooner or later take up the threads apparently broken off forever and knit them together in a new pattern.

Hitler is simply pure reason incarnate
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Old August 11th, 2015, 05:47 PM   #3620
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Lightbulb Woody Allen



I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.


I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
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