Worst actors ,Stupidest Movie Scenes , Cheapest Sets , Cheesiest Performances etc

[bp666]

Sheesh GS, you are making it real tough to compete. How to match Ahhh-nuld?

I'm going to throw in a double banger (not in the traditional VEF way!) with Jean-Claude Van Damme and Vincent Klyn in Cyborg. The most damning quote on Klyn's wikipedia entry is "his most notable role is the 1989 film Cyborg".

The climatic (again not in the traditional VEF way!) fight scene from Cyborg, see here is just filled with the most fantastic dialogue and believable action. I can see the director going over the scene..."JC, you start by saying "aaaarrrggghhh", Vincent, you reply with "aaaarrrggghhh", then JC, "aaaarrrggghhh", Vincent, "aaaarrrggghhh". Vincent, when he sticks the knife in you, "aaaarrrggghhh", JC, as you're sticking the knife in him, "aaaarrrggghhh". Now, action!

Wikipedia says the director Albert Pyun wrote the storyline for Cyborg in one weekend. I wonder what he did for the other 47.5 hours in that weekend? The most interesting thing about this movie is that many of the characters names are references to makes and models of guitars and other well-known musical instruments.

[otiscleotus]

There is one thing in the movie Gettysburg that's always bugged and doesn't seem to fit in the high production quality of the rest of the film - those super cheap looking fakey beards that a few of the main characters are adorned with. I've always wondered if they were meant to be some kind of inside joke they're so bad.

[shodan2011]

28 Days Later Addendum

I finally realised last night where the concept of the zombie/non-zombie from this "how to plagiarise successfully" film comes from. I was watching George Romero's "The Crazies" last night, and it finally sank in. "The Crazies" involves people who are turned into homicidal maniacs after being exposed to a government bio-weapon. 28 Days Later features people turned into homicidal maniacs after being exposed to "rage". The two don't sound alike, but when you watch both films the similarities are striking.

I hate to bang on and on about how much Alex "no ideas of my own" Garland has ripped off Romero (and this will be my last post on the subject), but I can't believe just how many ideas were ripped off in this piece of DV trash. I also find it hard to believe that Fangoria, of all magazines, fell for it. Fangoria really should have known better.

It would have been different if the film makers had come out and said it was a homage to George Romero, but they didn't. I believe they were hoping no one would notice the god awful script and the shameless stealing of scenes and ideas from Romero's films. Compare this to Shaun of the Dead; Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg came straight out and said it was an affectionate homage to Romero. Romero loved it so much he plugged it in the US, went around wearing a replica of Shaun's (Simon Pegg) work badge and got Pegg and Wright to appear in a cameo in Land of the Dead.

[MaxJoker]

JCVD

Hey you`re not just dealing from the bottom of the deck now you`re using a marked card

Which leaves me with no choice than to use the nuclear option

He`s a human being who contains more ham than a field full of pigs

The worlds best Elvis impersonator , in fact he`s so good he pretends to be Elvis in each and every role he plays no matter how the character has actually been written

An actor who brings knew meaning to the phase " What the f#ck was the casting agent thinking ?"

Yes of course it has to be



Seen here emoting his heart out in a condensed version of the updated much loved Wicker man

[shodan2011]

I'll throw in (to a pit of lava) Chuck Norris.

Yes, good old Chuck. He tried to act his way out of a paper bag once, and remnants of it are still on his head (I thought he had a beard. ) Yes, Chuck, we know you can do martial arts, but acting: No, I don't think so.

Here's some of Chuck's classic moments:

1. "Fighting" a bear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2XUgE6g7XU
2. God knows: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I6N8aRp2SU

I can't go on watching this crap anymore. You get the picture.

[palo5]

Originally Posted by GreenSkull

That`s right film fans it could be has to be the one the only , that man of barely one natural facial expression = Keanu !

I don't like his movies either, and don't watch them

But just when you thought a more cheesy actor than Rambo wasn't possible, they find a more cheesy "actor" than Rambo




The presence of this actor guarantees the movie will not be intelligent. I have seen three in the last week and all were silly

[MaxJoker]

Not going to spoil the surprise this time , although i will say one of the " Actors " in the following bum clenchingly unbelievably bad fight scene finale has already been named

While the other bloke trading punches and quips is such a piss poor performer he makes the first one almost look good by comparison

Naturally he loses the battle

But then the guy does have all the upper body strength of a wet twiglet so it ain`t no big shock .


" Gaze in wonder "

[Estreeter]

I hated this whole film, crap cars, crap acting
But the Vin Diesel line I live my life a quater mile at a time made me sick.

[Mal Hombre]

That particular cinematic gem is on nearly every other day on S*y movies

[whop]

Originally Posted by bp666

Excellent call GS, and I'll see your Keanu and raise you a Steven.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I offer into evidence, Exhibit A:



See top-class squinting here. Note the slap upside of the head from Seagal is equivalent to a thunderous right hook from Mike Tyson in his prime. Note how the 2nd main character in the scene takes on characteristics of Seagal. It must be some type of osmosis from the proximity to greatness.

The blonde girl in the short skirt in the back at 0:53 is the good part.