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Old 03-14-2018, 09:57 AM   #13521
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mal Hombre View Post
Don't hog the limelight..Who squealed..
It was obvious to everyone who he was porking......
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Old 03-14-2018, 10:05 AM   #13522
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No need to ham it up..
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Old 03-14-2018, 10:43 AM   #13523
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I had sex with a pig
Too late to advise: don't tell the police.
Constable or a higher rank?
... uniform or plainclothes (in mufti/drag)?
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Old 03-14-2018, 01:33 PM   #13524
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1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

5. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

6. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

8. What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!

9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

10. What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.
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"I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson
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Old 03-15-2018, 06:30 PM   #13525
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I have decided that I will no longer post on Post Your Corny Jokes.
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Old 03-15-2018, 11:32 PM   #13526
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Inspired by a song on the radio, a fellow went to New York and got a gig dancing at Radio City Music Hall.

He's now the Rockette Man.
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Old 03-16-2018, 03:32 PM   #13527
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11. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

12. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lick-a-lotta-puss.

13. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

15. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

16. What’s the best part about gardening?

Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

17. How is a girlfriend like a laxative?

They both irritate the shit out of you.

18. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?

The man.

19. Why do vegetarians give good head?

Because they’re used to eating nuts.

20. What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.
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Old 03-16-2018, 06:46 PM   #13528
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I have decided that I will no longer post on Post Your Corny Jokes.
I was only joking!
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Old 03-17-2018, 01:19 AM   #13529
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gedly View Post
I will no longer post on Post Your Corny Jokes.
Starting like you mean to continue?
Quote:
Originally Posted by gedly View Post
I was only joking!
Welcome back.
Now, there's some corn over there that needs husking.
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Old 03-17-2018, 02:14 AM   #13530
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21. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.

22. Why do walruses love a tupperware party?

They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.

23. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

24. Why did God give men penises?

So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

25. What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

26. What did the penis say to the vagina?

Don’t make me come in there!

27. What do a woman and a bar have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

28. What’s another name for a vagina?

The box a penis comes in.

29. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

30. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?

Fucking hot!
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