Post your corny jokes - Page 1392

MaxJoker · October 5th, 2018, 01:28 PM

Everyone admires my chicken proof lawn ,

Its impeccable.

**gedly** · October 5th, 2018, 06:59 PM

I'm pretty sure I've acquired telepathic powers. I know what you're all thinking....

**Silklover** · October 6th, 2018, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I'm pretty sure I've acquired telepathic powers. I know what you're all thinking....

Is´t more tiring then monotonous?

MaxJoker · October 6th, 2018, 12:48 PM

After giving my nephew an Action Man for his birthday he told me wanted a Red Indian instead ,

Been trying to put a brave face on it ever since .

**trailmaster** · October 6th, 2018, 01:11 PM

I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance."
Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids and I thought, "fc...k it. I could win that!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two sperms are having a race, one sperm says, "My arms are killing me with all this swimming, are we near the womb?"
The second sperm says, "Not for a long time yet, we've only just gone past her tonsils!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three friends--two straight guys and a gay guy-and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and the next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly.

"I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy.

"Sorry, can't let you in either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously. "It doesn't look good, Dick"

**effCup** · October 6th, 2018, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trailmaster

one sperm says, "My arms are killing me"

What else do these sperm have besides mouths and arms? Or maybe they're simply telepathic like gedly?

**mrfixit** · October 7th, 2018, 02:22 AM

**mrfixit** · October 7th, 2018, 03:46 AM

**mrfixit** · October 7th, 2018, 11:36 PM

**Mister Fide** · October 8th, 2018, 03:00 PM

Bumped into the Mother-In-Law yesterday at the supermarket which was quite a shock as last week we buried her in the garden!

October 5th, 2018, 01:28 PM	#13911
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	Everyone admires my chicken proof lawn , Its impeccable. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 6th, 2018, 12:48 PM	#13914
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	After giving my nephew an Action Man for his birthday he told me wanted a Red Indian instead , Been trying to put a brave face on it ever since . __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 7th, 2018, 02:22 AM	#13917
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,824 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

October 7th, 2018, 03:46 AM	#13918
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,824 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

October 7th, 2018, 11:36 PM	#13919
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,824 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

October 5th, 2018, 06:59 PM	#13912
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,314 Times in 3,171 Posts	I'm pretty sure I've acquired telepathic powers. I know what you're all thinking....

October 6th, 2018, 01:11 PM	#13915
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,255 Times in 60,072 Posts	I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance." Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids and I thought, "fc...k it. I could win that!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two sperms are having a race, one sperm says, "My arms are killing me with all this swimming, are we near the womb?" The second sperm says, "Not for a long time yet, we've only just gone past her tonsils!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three friends--two straight guys and a gay guy-and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and the next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny." Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously. "It doesn't look good, Dick"

October 8th, 2018, 03:00 PM	#13920
Mister Fide Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Nearly there Posts: 892 Thanks: 23,075 Thanked 17,987 Times in 890 Posts	Bumped into the Mother-In-Law yesterday at the supermarket which was quite a shock as last week we buried her in the garden!