The Smelly Bundle Diaries (moved from Things Noticeable by request)

**rupertramjet** · March 20th, 2013, 09:18 PM

Daughter arrived with creature, unable to move, spends its life crying, eating, making noises from the rear end that would get you and me accused of being disgusting old men, Smelly about thirty inches long.

The effect this bundle has on otherwise sensible and intelligent women, of all ages, is to turn them into quivering maniacs, with oohs and ahhs, and stupid high pitched noises, actually my eight month old Grandson does make me feel a bit awwwwwwww when he gives me that blue eyed smile, oh well perhaps I too am a quivering maniac in the making!

**rupertramjet** · March 23rd, 2013, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rupertramjet

Sadly she hasn't taken up with him, she has given birth to him, so infanticide apart I am lumbered!

An update on the smelly bundle, it would appear that it can move, usually at surprising speed, and has a liking for anything it should not have! It seems to have taken a liking to me, probably intelligent enough to realise that in the future, it being male, will need male allies in the battle of this house.

It seems to like the dog, and pulls its ears, tail and the dog walks off with that look only a dog can give, I was left with it for the afternoon while Mrs R and D went shopping, as it had not expired when they got back, I assume I will be left with it again in future, but I noticed, whilst it got hello and silly noises I was ignored completely!

**rupertramjet** · March 23rd, 2013, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff Vader

So which is the bigger disaster ?

For me its got to be the ...........smelly bundle!

**rupertramjet** · March 24th, 2013, 11:04 AM

Smelly bundle update, renaming the thing Yoda, has not had a calming influence on the females in the Ramjet house, they seem to find it offensive, but it looks like Yoda, without the ears I admit.

But the advantage is that I can now go into my study, without interruption!

**rupertramjet** · March 25th, 2013, 10:44 PM

Smelly bundle update

It now appears to have sharp bits somewhere on the uncovered end! Pressurized by Mrs R to wipe it, I did so only to feel an excruciating pain in the pinkie of the hand that was doing the wiping, Mrs R being present prevented the normal retaliation to being bitten by a crawlie thing, and I did not stamp on it!

**rupertramjet** · March 27th, 2013, 07:36 PM

Smelly Bundle Update

The bundle was left again with me this evening, seems pointless getting home from work early really! I was asked to fill it up, so I took it into the kitchen, got out the fuel and sat it in a strap in seat. Got a spoon, filled with fuel and aimed it at the bundle, a huge chasm opened and I piled the fuel in, I got braver as it disappeared and decided to see how much I could shovel in at once. I ran out of fuel before I found out the answer!

**rupertramjet** · March 28th, 2013, 04:47 PM

Smelly Bundle Update

Request for information. I recall when the Ramjetettes where smelly bundles, the various Mrs Rs put them away, switched them off and gave a degree of peace at various times of the day, they would then go and take them out, switch them back on and they would zoom about until batteries (or powerpacks) exhausted they would be put away until the morn!

My question is fellow members, are the current production run operated only by remote control, like modern TVs? If so where the hell is it, manual appears lost, is there an on off switch? Why does its battery always seem to go flat when I am holding it, as gentlemen of a certain age we are all aware of the need to attend to our own bladders.

**mizlaplan** · March 28th, 2013, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rupertramjet

Smelly Bundle Update

My question is fellow members, are the current production run operated only by remote control, like modern TVs? If so where the hell is it, manual appears lost, is there an on off switch? Why does its battery always seem to go flat when I am holding it, as gentlemen of a certain age we are all aware of the need to attend to our own bladders.

Fear ye not!
A Smelly Bundle operating manual does exist

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Barbara-Wood...4499809&sr=1-7

An alternative:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-Manual-...4499969&sr=8-1

**rupertramjet** · March 28th, 2013, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mizlaplan

Fear ye not!
A Smelly Bundle operating manual does exist

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Barbara-Wood...4499809&sr=1-7

An alternative:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-Manual-...4499969&sr=8-1

My grateful thanks to mizlapan, I have of course ordered the first of the above, the second I have decided to pass on as I feel to old to have a smelly bundle of my own, the one that is haunting the place is enough. Tomorrow the mark one is coming for the weekend, this one is slightly less obnoxious a it can utter the odd word, and tends to follow its father around, thus keeping away from me! I will inform you all of the outcome of the training manual, so well recommended and of course on Mrs R's reaction to my utilization of its techniques.

**rupertramjet** · March 29th, 2013, 06:27 PM

Smelly Bundle Update

Today has been a fairly quiet day, the bundle was escorted off the premises, early by its handler. Mrs R and I went off to do the shopping for Easter, it is apparently to small for Easter Eggs, so the rather nice Thorntons one I had been eying, remained on the shelves.

Sadly it has now returned along with its more mobile and slightly older cousin, so a quiet Easter ids never going to happen!

March 20th, 2013, 09:18 PM	#1
rupertramjet R.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Cloud cuckoo land Posts: 4,300 Thanks: 26,852 Thanked 54,117 Times in 4,288 Posts	The Smelly Bundle Diaries (moved from Things Noticeable by request) Daughter arrived with creature, unable to move, spends its life crying, eating, making noises from the rear end that would get you and me accused of being disgusting old men, Smelly about thirty inches long. The effect this bundle has on otherwise sensible and intelligent women, of all ages, is to turn them into quivering maniacs, with oohs and ahhs, and stupid high pitched noises, actually my eight month old Grandson does make me feel a bit awwwwwwww when he gives me that blue eyed smile, oh well perhaps I too am a quivering maniac in the making! Last edited by rupertramjet; April 20th, 2013 at 10:04 AM..

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March 24th, 2013, 11:04 AM	#4
rupertramjet R.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Cloud cuckoo land Posts: 4,300 Thanks: 26,852 Thanked 54,117 Times in 4,288 Posts	Smelly bundle update, renaming the thing Yoda, has not had a calming influence on the females in the Ramjet house, they seem to find it offensive, but it looks like Yoda, without the ears I admit. But the advantage is that I can now go into my study, without interruption!

March 25th, 2013, 10:44 PM	#5
rupertramjet R.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Cloud cuckoo land Posts: 4,300 Thanks: 26,852 Thanked 54,117 Times in 4,288 Posts	Smelly bundle update It now appears to have sharp bits somewhere on the uncovered end! Pressurized by Mrs R to wipe it, I did so only to feel an excruciating pain in the pinkie of the hand that was doing the wiping, Mrs R being present prevented the normal retaliation to being bitten by a crawlie thing, and I did not stamp on it!

March 27th, 2013, 07:36 PM	#6
rupertramjet R.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Cloud cuckoo land Posts: 4,300 Thanks: 26,852 Thanked 54,117 Times in 4,288 Posts	Smelly Bundle Update The bundle was left again with me this evening, seems pointless getting home from work early really! I was asked to fill it up, so I took it into the kitchen, got out the fuel and sat it in a strap in seat. Got a spoon, filled with fuel and aimed it at the bundle, a huge chasm opened and I piled the fuel in, I got braver as it disappeared and decided to see how much I could shovel in at once. I ran out of fuel before I found out the answer!

March 28th, 2013, 04:47 PM	#7
rupertramjet R.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Cloud cuckoo land Posts: 4,300 Thanks: 26,852 Thanked 54,117 Times in 4,288 Posts	Smelly Bundle Update Request for information. I recall when the Ramjetettes where smelly bundles, the various Mrs Rs put them away, switched them off and gave a degree of peace at various times of the day, they would then go and take them out, switch them back on and they would zoom about until batteries (or powerpacks) exhausted they would be put away until the morn! My question is fellow members, are the current production run operated only by remote control, like modern TVs? If so where the hell is it, manual appears lost, is there an on off switch? Why does its battery always seem to go flat when I am holding it, as gentlemen of a certain age we are all aware of the need to attend to our own bladders.

March 29th, 2013, 06:27 PM	#10
rupertramjet R.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Cloud cuckoo land Posts: 4,300 Thanks: 26,852 Thanked 54,117 Times in 4,288 Posts	Smelly Bundle Update Today has been a fairly quiet day, the bundle was escorted off the premises, early by its handler. Mrs R and I went off to do the shopping for Easter, it is apparently to small for Easter Eggs, so the rather nice Thorntons one I had been eying, remained on the shelves. Sadly it has now returned along with its more mobile and slightly older cousin, so a quiet Easter ids never going to happen!