Boyhood masturbation experiments

**kiwi** · December 26th, 2008, 08:33 AM

F*ck it.

In my time here @ VEF - I've admitted to worse things, hunting for nudie books, catching the clap, so this 'confession' is nothing - I have no shame

A few weeks ago I was reading a post here that was asking if anyone had tried the New Head Houncho? or sth like that. Anyway, I opened it because I thought it was some new computer game

- Nooooooooooo. It was a sex toy

for men, apparently.

And that got me thinking ... I remembered the novel, Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth. In it, the protagonist & narrator uses a side of beef wrapped around his dick to wank with. Later the family eat it, not knowing what it had been used for previously!

I never did anything like that.

But I did try sitting on my arm for 20 minutes until it went numb - someone had told me this was a great way to wank as it 'felt' like someone else was doing it - ??? - I don't know about that, I had a lot of difficulty just trying to pull myself cause there was no co-ordination... a bit like an L-driver with an unfamiliar gear stick...

I also bought a melon once, cut a hole in it - and f**ked it - not bad but it only stays fresh for a day under the bed ...

Did you ever f**k something strange?

Thank you all in advance.

Kiwi

buggeration · December 26th, 2008, 04:12 PM

When I was about thirteen or so, I cut a small hole in the stitching of my pillow.Then I'd lie on top of it, stick my dick through the hole, hold it tightly between my legs and f**k it for all it was worth. Later I learned to use a lubricant, usually soap on my dick. yes, it did look like I'd f**ked one of next door's hen afterwards, but I continued this practice for several years.

HBT731 · December 26th, 2008, 09:06 PM

You know the cardbord 'roller' in toilet paper? When I was a kid, I used to take those and lube myself up with vaseline and slide inside of those. They always felt awesome. Now they are too small..lol.

VallesMarineris · December 26th, 2008, 09:24 PM

just the normal wanker here. anything beyond that was too much time consuming for me.
i always wanted a Real Doll. it would be great for photography
among other things, as i always wanted to be the guy behind the camera.
as the girls of today are getting more plastic, these dolls look almost human.
i even think my fiancee' would dig it. maybe one day.

highviolet · December 26th, 2008, 09:31 PM

Not sure if this fits in this forum, but I remember the first time I masturbated. I was in 6th grade, and a girl had given me her copy of 'Forever' by Judy Blume to read. In the book, the girl's first experience with her boyfriend is giving him a handjob. The chapter was fairly explicit, so I thought I would try it on myself.

The surprise ending really caught me off guard.

**captpike** · December 26th, 2008, 09:39 PM

I would cut an old bicycle tube and put it inside a tube of some sort and lube and go to town. I have bought a couple of realistic pussies feel better then the hand but not like the real thing.

What kind of melon was it Kiwi ?

CaptPike

MaxJoker · December 27th, 2008, 04:09 AM

My main problem as a kid was finding something i could use which had enough tightness you know , as there`s nothing worse than having a loose goose around your noose. Growing up i tried everything from two mattresses tied together to using my local community swimming pool and nine tons of chopped liver .Then finally one evening on my travels i found a useful aid , and sure it wasn`t ideal but after a kilo of lube and a lot of squeezing i manager to blow my stack .

**kiwi** · December 27th, 2008, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captpike

What kind of melon was it Kiwi ?

Eh... just an ordinary one ... yellow on the outside... if that helps ... captpike

kiwi

**kiwi** · December 27th, 2008, 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellsmyre49

It certainly wasn't "seedless" by the time he had his evil way with it.

Rlmao!

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellsmyre49

I can't think of any inanimate object I ever fucked - hold on there was a big fat drunk tart behind the public library who was too puggled to do much more than snore - does that count?

If she was totally dead (drunk) when you where @ it, I suppose it might count...

Kiwi

BedroomEyes · May 21st, 2009, 12:45 PM

In my teenage years I I would experiment with anything that I could insert/rub in my pussy

OMG, I was such a horny girl!
I mean... still am but now I dont play with objects as much as then

December 26th, 2008, 08:33 AM	#1
kiwi I'm a hornisod Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Here @ VEF Posts: 1,422 Thanks: 6,194 Thanked 69,682 Times in 1,447 Posts	Boyhood masturbation experiments Fck it. In my time here @ VEF - I've admitted to worse things, hunting for nudie books, catching the clap, so this 'confession' is nothing - I have no shame A few weeks ago I was reading a post here that was asking if anyone had tried the New Head Houncho?* or sth like that. Anyway, I opened it because I thought it was some new computer game - Nooooooooooo. It was a sex toy for men, apparently. And that got me thinking ... I remembered the novel, Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth. In it, the protagonist & narrator uses a side of beef wrapped around his dick to wank with. Later the family eat it, not knowing what it had been used for previously! I never did anything like that. But I did try sitting on my arm for 20 minutes until it went numb - someone had told me this was a great way to wank as it 'felt' like someone else was doing it - ??? - I don't know about that, I had a lot of difficulty just trying to pull myself cause there was no co-ordination... a bit like an L-driver with an unfamiliar gear stick... I also bought a melon once, cut a hole in it - and fked it - not bad but it only stays fresh for a day under the bed ... Did you ever fk something strange? Thank you all in advance. Kiwi __________________ Love All The People To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by Farowt; May 22nd, 2009 at 04:41 AM..

December 26th, 2008, 04:12 PM	#2
buggeration Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Halfway between here and there! Posts: 296 Thanks: 281 Thanked 2,510 Times in 277 Posts	When I was about thirteen or so, I cut a small hole in the stitching of my pillow.Then I'd lie on top of it, stick my dick through the hole, hold it tightly between my legs and fk it for all it was worth. Later I learned to use a lubricant, usually soap on my dick. yes, it did look like I'd fked one of next door's hen afterwards, but I continued this practice for several years. __________________ We don't grow up; we just grow old. Last edited by Farowt; May 22nd, 2009 at 04:42 AM..

December 26th, 2008, 09:24 PM	#4
VallesMarineris Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: New York City Posts: 109 Thanks: 14,844 Thanked 838 Times in 99 Posts	just the normal wanker here. anything beyond that was too much time consuming for me. i always wanted a Real Doll. it would be great for photography among other things, as i always wanted to be the guy behind the camera. as the girls of today are getting more plastic, these dolls look almost human. i even think my fiancee' would dig it. maybe one day. __________________ c'mon and laugh, laugh, laugh. it ain't that bad...

December 27th, 2008, 04:09 AM	#7
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	My main problem as a kid was finding something i could use which had enough tightness you know , as there`s nothing worse than having a loose goose around your noose. Growing up i tried everything from two mattresses tied together to using my local community swimming pool and nine tons of chopped liver .Then finally one evening on my travels i found a useful aid , and sure it wasn`t ideal but after a kilo of lube and a lot of squeezing i manager to blow my stack . __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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December 26th, 2008, 09:06 PM	#3
HBT731 Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: WestTennessee Posts: 32 Thanks: 91 Thanked 413 Times in 32 Posts	You know the cardbord 'roller' in toilet paper? When I was a kid, I used to take those and lube myself up with vaseline and slide inside of those. They always felt awesome. Now they are too small..lol.

December 26th, 2008, 09:31 PM	#5
highviolet Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Madison, Wi Posts: 27 Thanks: 52 Thanked 192 Times in 27 Posts	Not sure if this fits in this forum, but I remember the first time I masturbated. I was in 6th grade, and a girl had given me her copy of 'Forever' by Judy Blume to read. In the book, the girl's first experience with her boyfriend is giving him a handjob. The chapter was fairly explicit, so I thought I would try it on myself. The surprise ending really caught me off guard.

December 26th, 2008, 09:39 PM	#6
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,303 Thanked 47,305 Times in 1,164 Posts	I would cut an old bicycle tube and put it inside a tube of some sort and lube and go to town. I have bought a couple of realistic pussies feel better then the hand but not like the real thing. What kind of melon was it Kiwi ? CaptPike

May 21st, 2009, 12:45 PM	#10
BedroomEyes Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 12 Thanks: 273 Thanked 169 Times in 13 Posts	In my teenage years I I would experiment with anything that I could insert/rub in my pussy OMG, I was such a horny girl! I mean... still am but now I dont play with objects as much as then