The VEF Members Novel

[TCO95]

...Alice Springs, although why she had been there is anyone's guess as Alice doesn't live there anymore. But I digress, this story is about the cabin steward Jon Smith. Who, although nervous about his first day on the job, was terrified that someone would discover he had escaped the Queensland State Mental Hospital this morning. His escape plan had been devilish in it's simplicity. When the guards were in the bathroom throwing up from the site of his cellmates, Sweatyhat and Exfarmer's, new avatars he walked out the front door and hailed a cab to the airport. Having subdued the real Jon Smith with flatulence so foul it could kill a buzzard he donned the unfortunate man's uniform and boarded the plane. Once they had achieved international airspace, on their way to Helsinki Finland, he would reveal his true identity to the hapless and helpless passengers. For he was the Prince of Porn, the Abbott of Anal, the Guru of Golden Showers, he was ...

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by TCO95

.Prince of Porn, the Abbott of Anal, the Guru of Golden Showers, he was ...

...................Member X. So vile is Member X that his posts are constantly hard deleted from the forum........posts asking did he? do anal, all were in the shemale threads. Estreeter cannot name him, he felt physically sick after looking at the posts that he only felt half as hungry as he normally would, as he does right now, so off to the fridge he went. He opened the fridge, and there it was, "Cool" exclaimed Estreeter, it was the cut off head of........

[TCO95]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

..................."Cool" exclaimed Estreeter, it was the cut off head of........

Julia Gillard, the PM of Australia. He'll be careful the next time he tells Blondifan to put a head on his beer. But his more immediate problem is how does he get to the left over pizza with that head in the way. While he was pondering this, and scratching his butt, three men attacked him from behind placing him in a sack. After the initial shock wore off, and his disappointment of not getting to the pizza subsided, he began to listen to their voices. "Maintenant que faisons-nous avec lui?" It sounded Russian, could the evil Palo5 be behind this? Before he could wrap his mind around that he heard, "Nous sommes le prenant à l'aéroport puis à Tel-Aviv." He was sure he heard Moscow. They're taking me to Moscow! Oh no that's where Motte lives. He's the meanest Russian since Vladislav Tretiak.

After an uneventful ride to the airport, the three men and their "luggage" arrived at the departure ticket window. "Trois billets à destination de Tel Aviv et s'il vous plaît soyez prudent avec mes bagages." The Texan behind the counter heard "Helsinki, Finland" and printed the tickets. He thought he heard the "luggage" yelling "Help me, help me." but he wasn't sure and you can never tell with Russians anyway so he turned back to reading his emails. The plane departed on time and everything was cool until the they reached international waters. That's when a dark figure entered the cargo area and ...

[blondifan]

Originally Posted by TCO95

That's when a dark figure entered the cargo area and ...

so tritally tritally ho into the lands of forethought plagarism, to be found at bargain discount prices (at any airport, providing your not a terrorist... as our potential numbers swell) which is never the domain nor motivatiion of TC of any other VEF elite, should such a thing exist... like if i write an upside down 't' and think that it looks like an 'f' who are you to criticise? Julia Gillard has been up- side tucking down for years the @#$ tucking greedy raw roo munching corporate [deleted for being way way too long, accurate and overly offensive].

I blondifan, freely admit i decapitated Miss Gillards sorry excuse for a head and placed it on E's beer.
If not high in fibre it must surely be high in somthing else?
At least, tonight... i shall feast, courtesy of her majesty.

so as blondifan is dragged off by the congratulatory constabulary, which brave member (zip that up, boy) dares to take his place in the war against war, the tug-of-woe with tyranny?. why it is no other than...

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by blondifan

.
I blondifan, freely admit i decapitated Miss Gillards sorry excuse for a head and placed it on E's beer.

Estreeter, upon hearing of Mizzzzz Gillards demise rejoiced He summoned Blondifan too, his , err, Club where pool and cards are played all day . Estreeter gave Blondi a title, Duke Nuke Em Of Under Downunder

Originally Posted by blondifan

.

i shall feast, courtesy of her majesty.

Not for long, Mizzz Gillards ghost walks the planet, she's angry, has come after Blondifan and now wants a VEF thread of her own


Save us form hell Duke Nuke Em Of Under Downunder, Save us

[blondifan]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

Save us form hell Duke Nuke Em Of Under Downunder, Save us

... but she's deadonthebeerymost (cripes, this is allowed here?) unless as our Abbot fortold she is an immortal leech from the never regions of Canberdorf.
(i really always thought it takes one to know one)...


Frodo, you must forsake your bling and live on thirty five dollars a day... (as opposed to your usual 800+ daily dollarage, and no using assets or credit cardi, mind ) then venture forth into the hidden forry to seek the other half of the moon and dangly most...

(i think i feel a lawsuit comng on. ..No, i'm mistaken It was a Four X (XXXX)

Bee was just about to take a nibload of his mincy meaty when...

[MaxJoker]

Then suddenly everybody woke up and realised it had all been

A disturbingly very sticky wet dream

[TCO95]

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Then suddenly everybody woke up and realised it had all been

A disturbingly very sticky wet dream

Or so Dr. Who wanted everyone to believe. For he had been the one to put the merciless peppers of Quetzalacatenango in the chilli. It was all so easy, I won't bore the gentle reader with the details, suffice to say the midget got the last laugh. With Ms. Gillard disposed of Dr. Who and his faithful sidekick Donatello were free to install puppet Jodi Foster as the new PM. But why? Why would anyone go to all this trouble to gain a few acres of desert. Only one man knows, the one who's name must never be said aloud Mister Mxyzptlk.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Then suddenly everybody woke up and realised it had all been

A disturbingly very sticky wet dream

Upon realizing he'd had a disturbingly wet dream, Adolf Himmler got off his bed, wiped the sleep from his eyes and summoned his servant too make a caviar on toast breakfast. While waiting, he logged onto his computer , checked his emails... A strange one was in his junk email folder titled "You have received a warning from Vintage Erotica Forums" Himmler opened it because he liked the word warnings... he read the content of the email....

MaxJoker, you have received a warning from Estreeter for bumping threads with useless comments, your next warning will result in a ban from the forum. Himmler then for no apparent reason threw his computer against his wall and demanded too know why his breakfast was taking so long.... So at the top of his voice yelled, Tabler, where's my f'king caviar ?.... Himmler then stopped, and wondered, Who's Tabler ?

[TCO95]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

.... Himmler then stopped, and wondered, Who's Tabler ?

Rolling his eyes and clucking in disbelief, Himmler's faithful servant NIN recounted the Tale of Tabler.

Once in a far off land a band of brothers, weary after a long day of modding and ogling babes, did enter the VEF Lounge. Each time a round was ordered, and the proprietor did deliver the drinks and tab, one brother, Shortarms Deeppockets, managed to enable his cloaking device and avoid paying. This annoyed the other brothers so that they came to rename Shortarms to "Tab Diddler" later shortened to Tabler and behind his back "Cheapus Dickus".

Smiling wickedly to himself NIN decided he would recount the Tale of Tygrkhat40 that night after dinner. Singing softly "Buffalo girl won't you come out tonight, come out tonight..." NIN entered the kitchen and was greeted by ...