your first wank over a mag

[Historian]

Originally Posted by mishmash

Mine was an issue of Escort,pinched it cause I was too young and too scared to buy it,i'd been looking up at it for about a week,it was one of those "The Girls of...." fold out cover photos and there was one particular girl (Karen?) not sure,they were all dressed as schoolgirls and on a bus and she had the most amazing backside i'd ever seen
Love to find it again if it rings any bells......

Don't think it was the first mag I ever wanked over (I'd already discovered my parents' porn collection and borrowed the odd one from that when they were out), but I reckon that might have been one of the first mags I ever actually owned myself- can't remember whether I'd bought it or swapped it with a mate at school.

I do remember my mag-buying started with a copy of Escort though- I remember the scary feeling of picking out a newsagent's shop I didn't usually frequent (less chance of meeting anyone who might know I was too young) taking the mag off the top shelf and going to the counter, hoping I'd get away with it, then fighting off the urge to abort the whole mission when I realised too late that it was a woman serving behind the counter....

Only ever came close to getting caught once, stopped off at a newsagents to buy a mag on my way home from college, and someone I knew walked in just after me- about 30 seconds later, I'd have been looking at that top shelf.... OK, I was old enough by then, but being caught buying a copy of Mayfair by a girl from my course, especially the one I seriously fancied and was desperately trying to find the nerve to ask out, might have been a bit embarrassing....

[denisovich321]

Originally Posted by billybunter

You'll never have a wank/s like those days again. The excitement was so intense! A school bag with a mayfair or club in it was bliss. A stonking hard-on all the way home. Then straight to your room to do your homework, LOL!

Absolutely spot on. I actually miss those days a bit. Hornyness levels going through the roof combined with the difficulty of acquiring new quality wank fodder meant that I was often fit to burst by the time I'd plucked up the courage to buy a new mag. Nowadays it's all available at the click of a mouse and great though that is, the thrill and sense of furtive urgency just isn't there.

Originally Posted by Historian

I do remember my mag-buying started with a copy of Escort though- I remember the scary feeling of picking out a newsagent's shop I didn't usually frequent (less chance of meeting anyone who might know I was too young) taking the mag off the top shelf and going to the counter, hoping I'd get away with it, then fighting off the urge to abort the whole mission when I realised too late that it was a woman serving behind the counter....

Only ever came close to getting caught once, stopped off at a newsagents to buy a mag on my way home from college, and someone I knew walked in just after me- about 30 seconds later, I'd have been looking at that top shelf.... OK, I was old enough by then, but being caught buying a copy of Mayfair by a girl from my course, especially the one I seriously fancied and was desperately trying to find the nerve to ask out, might have been a bit embarrassing....

This post takes me back, I experienced the same things buying mags (and sometimes chickening out!). 'Mission' is indeed the right word, as my porn expeditions were planned with military precision. I used to work at the local cash and carry so my choice of newsagents was quite limited as all the shopkeepers knew my face. So there were only a few shops that weren't off-limits. Each had its own set of problems:

Newsagent #1 - in the High Street. Very busy. People in and out all the time. Too risky. Might bump into best friend's mum or someone.

Newsagent #2 - in a quieter area, but usually a woman serving. Embarrassment factor quite high, although there is a miniscule possibility she might be extremely attractive and decide to shut the shop and take her clothes off.

Newsagent #3 - not a busy area, but cars constantly pulling up with folks in and out getting papers. Some windows of opportunity available.

Newsagent #4 - impressive selection of bongo mags, quiet area, but you always get served by a sullen middle-aged man who never speaks. Risk of being silently judged for buying porn.

So having made the choice, it would be time to embark on the quest. Clothing was important - you needed somewhere to conceal the mags. Even in the height of summer I would wear quite a thick coat half undone in order to stash the mags immediately after paying, then walk home with my left hand in my coat pocket stopping the stash from falling out onto the pavement. On reflection, this must have looked very strange at the very least.

Timing was important. You could just brazenly march in, head straight for the top shelf, grab the magazines and pay, but that never happened. Usually I'd hover around outside for a few minutes to get a feel for how busy the shop is, then trundle in. However, this stage of the mission was the most fraught with danger:

- Lots of people inside doing the lottery, browsing or queueing? Abort mission, purchase can of coke instead, and return another day.

- Young lady serving? Definitely abort mission, no question.

- One or two customers but all other conditions satisfied? Pretend to be interested in the vintage tractor publications until they fuck off, then grab the treasure and wander up to the counter.

But the etiquette of paying was also a minefield. What do you do when asked about your age? If that doesn't happen, should you engage the cashier in chit-chat? Or just a simple 'hello, just these, cheers'? Maybe you ought to buy something else to create the impression the main purpose of the visit was to buy a bag of crisps, with the mags being some kind of last minute afterthought? As I say, a minefield.

Anyway, after somehow avoiding all the pitfalls, I'd make my way home to wank nirvana over the likes of Gilena Hooton and Natasha Vale

[Historian]

Originally Posted by denisovich321

This post takes me back, I experienced the same things buying mags (and sometimes chickening out!). 'Mission' is indeed the right word, as my porn expeditions were planned with military precision. I used to work at the local cash and carry so my choice of newsagents was quite limited as all the shopkeepers knew my face. So there were only a few shops that weren't off-limits. Each had its own set of problems.....

That's a brilliant account, just how I remember it! My local newsie was no use- they didn't sell top shelf mags (and even if they did, I went to school with their daughter...) so I always had to look a bit further afield anyway.

Originally Posted by denisovich321

Newsagent #2 - in a quieter area, but usually a woman serving. Embarrassment factor quite high, although there is a miniscule possibility she might be extremely attractive and decide to shut the shop and take her clothes off.....

...Young lady serving? Definitely abort mission, no question.

Yes, I remember 'being seduced by the woman behind the counter in the newsagent when you went in to buy the lastest Mayfair' was a fairly popular readers letters theme.....No, it never happened to me either

Being served by a woman when I was buying a mag always used to freak me out as well- The funny thing is, 20-odd years of porn-buying experience has made me a lot more more relaxed about it. In fact my local sex shop has all-female (and sometimes very cute) staff, and the first time I bought a vibrator for my then-girlfriend, or when I've dropped in to buy a DVD more recently, being served by a woman doesn't really worry me so much.

Still no joy with them suddenly deciding to shut the shop and take their clothes off though...I reckon those readers' letters were all made up.

Originally Posted by denisovich321

So having made the choice, it would be time to embark on the quest. Clothing was important - you needed somewhere to conceal the mags. Even in the height of summer I would wear quite a thick coat half undone in order to stash the mags immediately after paying, then walk home with my left hand in my coat pocket stopping the stash from falling out onto the pavement. On reflection, this must have looked very strange at the very least.

Concealment was always a problem- thick coats were always good (I had one on which the inside pocket had split at the bottom, which meant you could hide a mag inside the lining), and I had a saddlebag on my bike which was just the right size to hide a rolled-up mag in.

A broadsheet newspaper was always a handy aid to concealment as well- though by the time I was 18, I reckon my parents must have thought I'd got ambitions of a career in politics from the number of copies of The Times or Telegraph that ended up in my bedroom wastepaper bin, having been used to sneak a Fiesta or Escort in...

Originally Posted by denisovich321

But the etiquette of paying was also a minefield. What do you do when asked about your age? If that doesn't happen, should you engage the cashier in chit-chat? Or just a simple 'hello, just these, cheers'? Maybe you ought to buy something else to create the impression the main purpose of the visit was to buy a bag of crisps, with the mags being some kind of last minute afterthought? As I say, a minefield

I always favoured the 'buy something else with the mag as an afterthought' ploy- I was into model trains as a teenager, so on the rare occasion I'd got enough cash, picking up the latest 'Railway Modeller' at the same time worked quite well, or more usually that newspaper to help hide my illicit purchase.

The worst part though was that moment when whoever was serving couldn't find the bloody price on the mag and spent ages searching the front cover for it- just as a queue suddenly appeared from nowhere behind me... I was always terrified they were about to shout out to their colleague out back in the stockroom 'How much is this month's 'Big and Busty?'

[billybunter]

Oh I chickened out loads of times when I noticed it was a girl behind the counter the shame off buying a wank mag was too much but then I just thought balls and bought it along with a newspaper. And every girl put the wanking fodder in the newspaper great days. It was worse if you were in a queue, the old ladies and the priest tut tuting away...

[MayfairFan]

So much from the last few posts is so familiar . I must admit The Girl Behind The Counter didn't bother me that much, I figured they had to be used to schoolboys from Other Parts Of Town dropping by, trying to look over 18, and at least they would know you were straight! Not that any Mayfair-esque occurrences resulted, of course...

It did keep me fit though, I had to cycle miles to find new shops where you weren't recognised as a 'regular', given that I was in one every month without fail.

[Sharkhunter]

Originally Posted by Historian

Only ever came close to getting caught once, stopped off at a newsagents to buy a mag on my way home from college, and someone I knew walked in just after me- about 30 seconds later, I'd have been looking at that top shelf.... OK, I was old enough by then, but being caught buying a copy of Mayfair by a girl from my course, especially the one I seriously fancied and was desperately trying to find the nerve to ask out, might have been a bit embarrassing....

This is why I always made it a point to go to a newsagent people I knew would NEVER go to. It would have been funny to see her face if she caught you with that copy of Mayfair in your mitts though...

denisovich321: loved the story, funny how it was probably the same for most of us mag buyers!

Yep, mag buying back in the day was a long-planned mission - a trip to some place nobody else went to, the wait until the mothers with kids and the ubiquitous old dame were safely out of the way, the furtive glace in either direction, the grab, the confident march to the counter, and handing over the change without dropping it due to the inevitable clammy palms. After a while, the guy - who I remember looked a little like Salman Rushdie - actually became familiar with my turning up every Thursday evening when Club was published, and actually kept the mag behind the counter for me, which saved my having to reach up and run the risk of bringing the whole lot down.

The shop I used to visit back in the late 1980s and early 1990s was right by a bus stop - which was both a good and a bad thing. Good because you could make a quick getaway, bad because you could suddenly find yourself being gawked at by a bunch of lairy schoolkids as you are grabbing your grot. After a while I didn't care that much about them though - I knew they's be itching to do the same thing in a few years' time. The old ladies though scared the bejeesus out of me.

For storage, I'd have a folder with some college/uni stuff in it - more often than not the mag would be nestled among a load of papers on modern European history or philosophy. These days I tend to do the inside of the jacket and hand in pocket thing, if just to keep things under wraps until I get to the car parked around the corner.

Probably the worst thing was making the journey and finding that my mag of choice was not there. More often than not, I'd not abort the mission entirely and pick up something else - the adrenalin had reached such a peak that by that stage I just needed to see some different pussy when I got back home bursting for a wank. Hence the odd copies of Mayfair or Men Only I bought.

The bus trip home was inevitably painful. That load would be wanting to find a way out, and it very often it was difficult to not cum in my boxers just from the thought of lying back on my bed stark naked and turning those fresh-smelling glossy pages of loveliness with one hand and my rock-hard cock in the other. It's something teenagers today will never truly experience, given that they can get to see way beyond anything I would have dreamed of by doing a few searches in Google.

Today one of the newsagents I buy my mags from is run by a young couple - the guy is always trying to sell me "harder" stuff and the girl has clearly served many a middle-aged perve, so it's not such a big deal. That said I am pushing forty so I really don't give a stuff anyway. Being thought out as a middle-aged perve (even though I look far from middle-aged - must be all that wanking) is somehow far more palatable than being glowered at when you are in your late teens.

[billybunter]

I agree Sharky. We had to fight for our kicks. Today kids get REAL porn for free. Though I don't wank at my computer. I prefer to lie down. TMI i know, but old habits die hard. But the vintage stuff was way better. Buying a mag with Shanine Linton or Sammi Jessop was instant wanking. Now the mags are full off "pornstars"

[denisovich321]

Originally Posted by Historian

The worst part though was that moment when whoever was serving couldn't find the bloody price on the mag and spent ages searching the front cover for it- just as a queue suddenly appeared from nowhere behind me... I was always terrified they were about to shout out to their colleague out back in the stockroom 'How much is this month's 'Big and Busty?'

Ha ha, I used to have exactly the same fear when paying. 'It's £2.25 for God's sake, same as it is every bloody month, hurry up and take my money, someone's just come in the shop', I'd be thinking

One newsagent I frequented was run by a middle-aged asian couple. The bloke was quite friendly, but whenever his wife was serving, well, the air of silent disapproval hung heavy in the air. Not that it ever really put me off too much

I wonder how lucrative the top shelf actually is/was for newsagents. Probably not so much anymore, but back then? Presumably it's profitable or they surely wouldn't stock it, but I've only ever seen someone else buying porn once

Just remembered this shop near me that was really good. They specialised in trophies and used books, but they often had second-hand copies of Escort, Razzle, Ravers etc at really cheap prices. I'd love to find a shop like that again

[billybunter]

After a while I found a porn friendly shop but before that some women did have an air of disapproval. But I was buying their stock. Though I remember one older woman saying to me "have fun" never knew if she was being sarky or not. But I did have fun What's the harm in wanking for goodness sake

[USBPepsi]

Originally Posted by MayfairFan

So much from the last few posts is so familiar . I must admit The Girl Behind The Counter didn't bother me that much, I figured they had to be used to schoolboys from Other Parts Of Town dropping by, trying to look over 18, and at least they would know you were straight! Not that any Mayfair-esque occurrences resulted, of course....

I actually had one of those "I never thought this would happen to me" moments in a convenience store once. I was about 22, (when seemingly EVERYTHING in my life happened; man, I miss that age) and had been buying "older women" magazines at the same store for several months (by the way, if you think getting over the embarrassment of buying adult magazines is bad, try buying "special interest" adult mags; it's about ten times as embarassing ). The female clerk, an older lady who I had chatted with several times, eventually said the words that I thought you only heard in porn films: "You know, you don't need those magazines. Why don't you ask me out?"

I wasn't used to aggressive women, and I was a bit flustered. I went ahead and went for it, though, and hit the jackpot on the first date.

The only thing that kind of keeps it from being a great "Dear P*nth**se" moment was that the lady clerk was much older than me indeed, and not particularly good-looking. Still, I was 22, basically a penis on legs. There was no chance of me not going for it. We hit it hot and heavy for about six weeks, until I saw that she was starting to fall for me. Since I didn't have any real feelings for her, I broke it off immediately to avoid prolonging the pain.

Memories. *sigh*