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Old March 19th, 2010, 01:34 AM   #521
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"One death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic" Joseph Stalin (how sad is that?)

Last edited by alman; March 20th, 2010 at 11:19 AM.. Reason: spelling mistake!
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Old March 19th, 2010, 04:36 PM   #522
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"I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it."
- Clint Eastwood
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Old March 20th, 2010, 12:18 AM   #523
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' a recent study indicates that 3 out of every 4 people make up 75% of the worlds population'

- a friend
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Old March 20th, 2010, 12:20 AM   #524
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"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

......How the feck did I do ok then......A quirk of fate maybe ....or just dellusional!!
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Old March 21st, 2010, 08:09 PM   #525
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Quote:
God bless our good and gracious king,
Whose promise none relies on;
Who never said a foolish thing,
Nor ever did a wise one.
John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester, satirical epigram aimed at King Charles II during one of the periodic spats between these very good friends.
Quote:
"That is true; for my words are my own, but my actions are those of my ministers."
King Charles, upon hearing from a third party what nasty things Lord Rochester had said about him. Charles II had some good points, one of which was that he was the only Stuart king ever to have been cool.
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Old March 22nd, 2010, 06:44 PM   #526
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Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder. He's pre-med.
Animal House
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Old March 23rd, 2010, 09:48 AM   #527
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VEF is like a box of chocolates, Ya open a thread and ya never know what you're gonna see, or if your post is still there

Me, I just made that up
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Old March 23rd, 2010, 05:23 PM   #528
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And,having dipped his toes in the waters of reason,the man with no brain returns to frolic on insanity beach-Bottom
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Old March 24th, 2010, 09:42 AM   #529
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The great
Rodney Dangerfield
Easily the king of the one liners


I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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Old March 24th, 2010, 08:03 PM   #530
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"Never lend people money - it gives them amnesia"





Groucho Marx
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