Quotations, Fav Movie Lines, and so on and so forth etc - Page 103

**GailFan** · March 7th, 2011, 05:43 AM

Someone just sent me these... they are actual quotations taken from court transcripts, quoted from the book "Disorder in the American Courts".

>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
>> WITNESS: **July 18th.
>> ATTORNEY: What year?
>> WITNESS: **Every year.

>> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>> WITNESS: **Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>> WITNESS: **Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>> WITNESS: **I forget.
>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

>> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>> WITNESS: **Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
>> WITNESS: **Forty-five years.

>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
>> WITNESS: **He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>> WITNESS: **My name is Susan.

>> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
>> WITNESS: **We both do.
>> ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
>> WITNESS: **We do.
>> ATTORNEY: You do?
>> WITNESS: **Yes, voodoo.

>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>> WITNESS: **Did you actually pass the bar exam?

>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
>> WITNESS: **Uh, he's twenty-one.

>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>> WITNESS: **Would you repeat the question?

>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>> WITNESS: **Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>> WITNESS: **Uh....

>> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
>> WITNESS: **Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>> WITNESS: **None.
>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>> WITNESS: **By death.
>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>> WITNESS: **He was about medium height and had a beard.
>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>> WITNESS: **No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
>> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
>> WITNESS: **Oral.

>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>> WITNESS: **The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>> WITNESS: **No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

>> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>> WITNESS: **Huh?

>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
>> WITNESS: **No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>> WITNESS: **No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>> WITNESS: **No.
>> ATTORNEY: So, then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
>> WITNESS: **No.
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> WITNESS: **Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
>> WITNESS: **Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

**Clouddancer** · March 7th, 2011, 10:02 AM

“The man who persuades you to lend him money or goods and then keeps them is without doubt a rogue; but much the greatest rogue of all is the man who has gulled his city into the belief that he is fit to direct it.”

“Do you think there is anything more unusual than to find a very large or a very small man, or dog, or other creature, or again, one that is very quick or slow, very ugly or beautiful, very black or white? Have you not noticed that the extremes in all these instances are rare and few, and the examples between the extremes are very many?” “And don't you think,” said he, “that if there were to be a competition in rascality, those who excelled would be very few in that also?”

MaxJoker · March 7th, 2011, 11:59 AM

" I should have been less left wing " - Adolf Hitler (30th April 1945)

" I`d like to reimburse the nation for selling their gold reserves without their permission and when the market was at it`s lowest " - Gordon Brown (This morning while being rightly tortured)

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice " - Bill Cosby

**Navvet** · March 9th, 2011, 12:23 AM

Clint Eastwood, in "The Outlaw Josey Wales"
Bounty hunter: "I'm looking for a man named Josey Wales."
Eastwood: "That'd be me. You a bounty hunter?"
Bounty hunter; "A man's gotta do somethin' for a living."
Eastwood: "Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy!"

Sandy Claws · March 11th, 2011, 05:31 AM

Howard Hughes- 'Show me all the blueprints. Show me all the blueprints. Show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints...'

**Mal Hombre** · March 11th, 2011, 05:30 PM

Bitches Leave-Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith)Robocop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GPPe...eature=related

**Clouddancer** · March 12th, 2011, 04:44 PM

"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
— Anaïs Nin

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."
— Confucius

MaxJoker · March 12th, 2011, 05:17 PM

" You know that look women get when they want sex ? , Me neither ! "
--- Drew Carey

" A girl's legs are her best friends, but even the best of friends must eventually part "
--- Redd Foxx

" Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them "
--- Steve Martin

**Mal Hombre** · March 12th, 2011, 05:26 PM

We have such sights to show You ! -Lead Cenobite, Doug Bradley
Hellraiser. also a good motto for this forum

**palo5** · March 12th, 2011, 05:44 PM

Stalin, hearing that Politburo-man Sergo Ordzhonikidze had suicided by shooting himself in the chest, had a literal way to explain it:

"This must be reported in the press. We'll say he had a heart attack"

March 7th, 2011, 10:02 AM	#1022
Clouddancer Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Spain - Costa Blanca Posts: 811 Thanks: 10,238 Thanked 11,624 Times in 809 Posts	Socrates “The man who persuades you to lend him money or goods and then keeps them is without doubt a rogue; but much the greatest rogue of all is the man who has gulled his city into the belief that he is fit to direct it.” “Do you think there is anything more unusual than to find a very large or a very small man, or dog, or other creature, or again, one that is very quick or slow, very ugly or beautiful, very black or white? Have you not noticed that the extremes in all these instances are rare and few, and the examples between the extremes are very many?” “And don't you think,” said he, “that if there were to be a competition in rascality, those who excelled would be very few in that also?” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

March 7th, 2011, 11:59 AM	#1023
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	Two fakes and one true , mostly as i felt that`s what i wanted to do " I should have been less left wing " - Adolf Hitler (30th April 1945) " I`d like to reimburse the nation for selling their gold reserves without their permission and when the market was at it`s lowest " - Gordon Brown (This morning while being rightly tortured) "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice " - Bill Cosby __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 11th, 2011, 05:30 PM	#1026
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,663 Thanked 855,787 Times in 57,565 Posts	Bitches Leave-Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith)Robocop http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GPPe...eature=related __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 12th, 2011, 04:44 PM	#1027
Clouddancer Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Spain - Costa Blanca Posts: 811 Thanks: 10,238 Thanked 11,624 Times in 809 Posts	"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings." — Anaïs Nin "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." — Confucius __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

March 12th, 2011, 05:17 PM	#1028
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	" You know that look women get when they want sex ? , Me neither ! " --- Drew Carey " A girl's legs are her best friends, but even the best of friends must eventually part " --- Redd Foxx " Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them " --- Steve Martin __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 7th, 2011, 05:43 AM	#1021
GailFan No longer active Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Suicide Alley Posts: 2,797 Thanks: 27,507 Thanked 61,946 Times in 2,770 Posts	Someone just sent me these... they are actual quotations taken from court transcripts, quoted from the book "Disorder in the American Courts". >> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? >> WITNESS: July 18th. >> ATTORNEY: What year? >> WITNESS: Every year. >> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? >> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. >> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? >> WITNESS: Yes. >> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? >> WITNESS: I forget. >> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? >> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? >> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. >> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? >> WITNESS: Forty-five years. >> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? >> WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" >> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? >> WITNESS: My name is Susan. >> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? >> WITNESS: We both do. >> ATTORNEY: Voodoo? >> WITNESS: We do. >> ATTORNEY: You do? >> WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. >> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? >> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? >> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? >> WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. >> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? >> WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? >> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? >> WITNESS: Yes. >> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? >> WITNESS: Uh.... >> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? >> WITNESS: Yes. >> ATTORNEY: How many were boys? >> WITNESS: None. >> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? >> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? >> WITNESS: By death. >> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? >> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? >> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. >> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? >> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? >> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. >> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? >> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. >> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? >> WITNESS: Oral. >> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? >> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. >> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? >> WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! >> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? >> WITNESS: Huh? >> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? >> WITNESS: No. >> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? >> WITNESS: No. >> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? >> WITNESS: No. >> ATTORNEY: So, then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? >> WITNESS: No. >> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? >> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. >> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? >> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

March 9th, 2011, 12:23 AM	#1024
Navvet An Old Salt Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 8,094 Thanks: 71,674 Thanked 279,521 Times in 8,086 Posts	Clint Eastwood, in "The Outlaw Josey Wales" Bounty hunter: "I'm looking for a man named Josey Wales." Eastwood: "That'd be me. You a bounty hunter?" Bounty hunter; "A man's gotta do somethin' for a living." Eastwood: "Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy!"

March 11th, 2011, 05:31 AM	#1025
Sandy Claws Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 149 Thanks: 1,535 Thanked 2,211 Times in 282 Posts	Howard Hughes- 'Show me all the blueprints. Show me all the blueprints. Show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints...'

March 12th, 2011, 05:26 PM	#1029
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,663 Thanked 855,787 Times in 57,565 Posts	We have such sights to show You ! -Lead Cenobite, Doug Bradley Hellraiser. also a good motto for this forum __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 12th, 2011, 05:44 PM	#1030
palo5 Former Staff Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 16,579 Thanks: 452,836 Thanked 222,658 Times in 16,567 Posts	Stalin, hearing that Politburo-man Sergo Ordzhonikidze had suicided by shooting himself in the chest, had a literal way to explain it: "This must be reported in the press. We'll say he had a heart attack"