Post your corny jokes - Page 778

**jackpinesavage** · April 26th, 2014, 01:06 PM

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the
shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?

The blonde said it was hers.

Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.

The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.

The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.'

'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin.'

The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!'

(Your gotta love this)

The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.

**SanteeFats** · April 27th, 2014, 01:33 AM

Did you hear about the really fat man who went to buy pants? He had to ask for waist size infinite.

The same guy went to a laboratory where they discovered he was so fat he had his own gravitational field.

**gmcbee** · April 27th, 2014, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SanteeFats

Did you hear about the really fat man who went to buy pants? He had to ask for waist size infinite.

The same guy went to a laboratory where they discovered he was so fat he had his own gravitational field.

His wife was so fat, when she sat around the house, she sat AROUND the house.

**SanteeFats** · April 27th, 2014, 03:45 PM

Did you know the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk had a gay wolf as a pet? After the giant died the wolf left and stumbled across the three pigs houses. Here is what he said at each house "Fee Fie Foe Fumb I'll blow until you cum".

Lord Of The Sith · April 27th, 2014, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmcbee

His wife was so fat, when she sat around the house, she sat AROUND the house.

And when she wore her Malcolm X shirt helicopters kept trying to land on her

**tygrkhat40** · April 28th, 2014, 02:40 PM

And when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up.

**SanteeFats** · April 28th, 2014, 10:03 PM

An old hillbilly is passing on some wisdom to his grandson he gets down to the nitty gritty and tells him "Most blondes have black hair by cracky".

**Jeff Vader** · April 29th, 2014, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tygrkhat40

And when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up.

Yo momma so fat and stupid that she brought a spoon to the Superbowl.

**effCup** · April 29th, 2014, 12:20 PM

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.'
The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

dazza2 · April 29th, 2014, 08:02 PM

It was my psychic friends birthday so i bought him a shirt..................not sure of his size so i bought him a medium

best i can do, Real winning 3-0 and i'm bored now

April 26th, 2014, 01:06 PM	#7771
jackpinesavage Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: My House Posts: 1,778 Thanks: 4,039 Thanked 36,058 Times in 1,765 Posts	Blonde Police Dog One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside? The blonde said it was hers. Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said. The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree. The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.' 'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin.' The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!' (Your gotta love this) The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.

April 27th, 2014, 03:45 PM	#7774
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,460 Times in 60,964 Posts	Did you know the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk had a gay wolf as a pet? After the giant died the wolf left and stumbled across the three pigs houses. Here is what he said at each house "Fee Fie Foe Fumb I'll blow until you cum". Last edited by SanteeFats; June 5th, 2014 at 06:05 PM.. Reason: missing words

April 28th, 2014, 02:40 PM	#7776
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 153,135 Times in 9,629 Posts	And when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 28th, 2014, 10:03 PM	#7777
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,460 Times in 60,964 Posts	Blondes An old hillbilly is passing on some wisdom to his grandson he gets down to the nitty gritty and tells him "Most blondes have black hair by cracky".

April 27th, 2014, 01:33 AM	#7772
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,460 Times in 60,964 Posts	Did you hear about the really fat man who went to buy pants? He had to ask for waist size infinite. The same guy went to a laboratory where they discovered he was so fat he had his own gravitational field.

April 29th, 2014, 12:20 PM	#7779
effCup *Vintage Idiot* Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: History Posts: 22,143 Thanks: 226,791 Thanked 357,041 Times in 21,638 Posts	After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.' Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

April 29th, 2014, 08:02 PM	#7780
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,854 Times in 189 Posts	It was my psychic friends birthday so i bought him a shirt..................not sure of his size so i bought him a medium best i can do, Real winning 3-0 and i'm bored now