October 10th, 2013, 03:55 PM | #71 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
They say that continual masturbation ruins your eyesight.
Must be true. I can't even tell if they're skipping or playing hopscotch anymore.
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 28 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
October 10th, 2013, 05:18 PM | #72 |
Woodwose
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the mud and rain
Posts: 10,869
Thanks: 97,859
Thanked 187,963 Times in 10,563 Posts
|
This morning some fit blonde asked for my seat on the bus so I replied, "There's no chance in hell I'm getting up love."
"Why, is it because I'm not pregnant?" "No love, it's because this is a wheelchair." I saw some guy picking on a spastic in the pub earlier so I said,"Right mate, you, me, let's take it outside." So we picked up the spaz and chucked him out the door.
__________________
|
The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to sweatyhat For This Useful Post: |
October 10th, 2013, 07:42 PM | #73 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
Said to my wife this morning "I never thought i'd see the day when our little girl had a larger bra size than you !"
Which on reflection probably wasn`t the best thing to say ,as they wheeled her back into the ward after a double mastectomy.
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 27 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
October 10th, 2013, 09:02 PM | #74 |
Woodwose
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the mud and rain
Posts: 10,869
Thanks: 97,859
Thanked 187,963 Times in 10,563 Posts
|
It's been a great relief, our incontinent grandad developing alzheimers. Some days, he forgets to shit himself. I'm in some serious trouble today, after having sex with the wife's Mum in the shower. I've got the lid stuck up my arse.
__________________
|
The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to sweatyhat For This Useful Post: |
October 11th, 2013, 04:26 PM | #75 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
My wife caught me pulling faces at her behind her back today.
Sneaky bitch had fitted mirrors to her wheelchair. What's the best way to kill a child ? Release Baby P's mother from prison.
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 26 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
October 13th, 2013, 06:47 AM | #76 |
Woodwose
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the mud and rain
Posts: 10,869
Thanks: 97,859
Thanked 187,963 Times in 10,563 Posts
|
I hear that Councils could run out of space for graves in less than ten years!
Perhaps they should move to burials at sea, it seems to be very popular for the North African countries.
__________________
|
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to sweatyhat For This Useful Post: |
October 13th, 2013, 02:50 PM | #77 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
I couldn't believe the the size of my baby boy's penis when he was born.
It was so big the jealous Asian doctor even forced me to cut it in half !.
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 23 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
October 13th, 2013, 04:14 PM | #78 |
Woodwose
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the mud and rain
Posts: 10,869
Thanks: 97,859
Thanked 187,963 Times in 10,563 Posts
|
Maestro Roy 'Chubby' Brown
__________________
|
The Following 23 Users Say Thank You to sweatyhat For This Useful Post: |
October 13th, 2013, 10:02 PM | #79 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 6,958
Thanks: 69,670
Thanked 73,322 Times in 6,969 Posts
|
Two pathologists having a pint after work;
'Got the corpse of a 93 year old woman today, she had a clitoris like a cornichon' 'What, that big ?' 'No, but that salty.' |
The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to rockernut For This Useful Post: |
October 14th, 2013, 01:18 PM | #80 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
Dr.Seus just released a new book for children about a man that gets blamed for lots of crimes. He calls it "The black in the hat" It was reported today the American flag on the moon has turned yellow due to the exposure of solar radiation. That's great. Now France can claim that they've landed there. Women are supposed to love a strong man with feminine traits, But you just try including the fact you`ve sucked a cock or two in your wedding vows and she how quickly she turns on you !.
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 28 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
|
|