Post your corny jokes - Page 1175

**Isegrim** · November 10th, 2016, 10:26 AM

That little guy is notorious inspite of the americanist disguise ... take a look to Donalds hairdress ... hm, somewhere I have seen it before ...

"O say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming ... "

**trailmaster** · November 10th, 2016, 11:39 AM

A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stos him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those pengins to the zoo!" The man does that.
The next day in the same spot, trhe man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replied the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yo mama is so dumb she makes u look like a genius.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a dog stay in a shadow. Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the tv and says, "I'm watching paper-view."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yo mama so ugly when she threw a boomerang it never came back.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yo mama so old her social security number is 3!

**gedly** · November 10th, 2016, 10:15 PM

Apparently, Donald Trump has announced that the building of the US/Mexican border wall will commence when he's recruited enough illegal immigrants to build it.

BigDog44 · November 11th, 2016, 08:51 AM

So Kim Jong Il, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are taking a break from a world leaders peace conference and walking along a beach when they find a magic lamp, and sure enough a Genie appears and offers each a wish.
Lil' Kim jumps in first "I want the greatest army the world has ever seen, their numbers so vast that nobody can count them, their weapons so advance nobody an oppose them!"
"Your wish is granted" Says the Genie
Trump looking worried pipes up "I want a wall, an impenetrable wall two thousand feet high and all the way around America!"
"Your wish is granted" says the Genie turning to Putin.
The Russian smirks and says "This wall, fill it with water!".........

**footstep** · November 11th, 2016, 08:56 AM

A man walks on a bridge.
Suddenly a voice shouts :"Help me I'm drowning. I don't know how to swim!".

Neither do I. And I do not shout.....

**trailmaster** · November 11th, 2016, 12:00 PM

An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrragements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently", she replied. The old gentleman say quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yo mama so slow that when she tried to cross the road she got a parking ticket.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the tooth brush want to become when he grew older? A broom.

**SanteeFats** · November 11th, 2016, 02:41 PM

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

**captpike** · November 11th, 2016, 03:28 PM

**gedly** · November 11th, 2016, 04:46 PM

I just had to post this.....

Today our boss walked up to us and said, "At 11 O'clock today we will be observing a two minute silence". To which my colleague replied, "As a tribute to Leonard Cohen?"

**Isegrim** · November 11th, 2016, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I just had to post this.....

Today our boss walked up to us and said, "At 11 O'clock today we will be observing a two minute silence". To which my colleague replied, "As a tribute to Leonard Cohen?"

Two minutes of silence just because the Carnival season starts? Don't like it either ... but this seems exaggerated to me ...

November 11th, 2016, 08:51 AM	#11744
BigDog44 Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 93 Thanks: 17,138 Thanked 1,356 Times in 93 Posts	So Kim Jong Il, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are taking a break from a world leaders peace conference and walking along a beach when they find a magic lamp, and sure enough a Genie appears and offers each a wish. Lil' Kim jumps in first "I want the greatest army the world has ever seen, their numbers so vast that nobody can count them, their weapons so advance nobody an oppose them!" "Your wish is granted" Says the Genie Trump looking worried pipes up "I want a wall, an impenetrable wall two thousand feet high and all the way around America!" "Your wish is granted" says the Genie turning to Putin. The Russian smirks and says "This wall, fill it with water!"......... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. God created woman, man created porn... art... porn I get confused still a great combination

November 11th, 2016, 03:28 PM	#11748
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,358 Thanked 47,310 Times in 1,164 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for more of or about her? Due to recent changes I will be limited on my reups lost most of my collection To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 10th, 2016, 10:26 AM	#11741
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	That little guy is notorious inspite of the americanist disguise ... take a look to Donalds hairdress ... hm, somewhere I have seen it before ... "O say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming ... "

November 10th, 2016, 11:39 AM	#11742
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,905 Thanks: 1,329,115 Thanked 707,314 Times in 60,079 Posts	A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stos him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those pengins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, trhe man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replied the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yo mama is so dumb she makes u look like a genius. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does a dog stay in a shadow. Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the tv and says, "I'm watching paper-view." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yo mama so ugly when she threw a boomerang it never came back. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yo mama so old her social security number is 3!

November 10th, 2016, 10:15 PM	#11743
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,886 Thanked 69,320 Times in 3,171 Posts	Apparently, Donald Trump has announced that the building of the US/Mexican border wall will commence when he's recruited enough illegal immigrants to build it.

November 11th, 2016, 08:56 AM	#11745
footstep Lost luggages? Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: France Posts: 7,268 Thanks: 92,097 Thanked 86,765 Times in 7,170 Posts	A man walks on a bridge. Suddenly a voice shouts :"Help me I'm drowning. I don't know how to swim!". Neither do I. And I do not shout.....

November 11th, 2016, 12:00 PM	#11746
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,905 Thanks: 1,329,115 Thanked 707,314 Times in 60,079 Posts	An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrragements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently", she replied. The old gentleman say quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: Nothing. Wife: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yo mama so slow that when she tried to cross the road she got a parking ticket. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ What did the tooth brush want to become when he grew older? A broom.

November 11th, 2016, 02:41 PM	#11747
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,854 Thanks: 281,910 Thanked 814,247 Times in 60,899 Posts	"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

November 11th, 2016, 04:46 PM	#11749
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,886 Thanked 69,320 Times in 3,171 Posts	I just had to post this..... Today our boss walked up to us and said, "At 11 O'clock today we will be observing a two minute silence". To which my colleague replied, "As a tribute to Leonard Cohen?"