Post your corny jokes - Page 1001

**Mal Hombre** · August 23rd, 2015, 10:35 AM

I contacted the Pro Claimers but They were abroad,I just got a Letter From America...

**SanteeFats** · August 23rd, 2015, 01:41 PM

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

**tygrkhat40** · August 23rd, 2015, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

Well, that's it then. I've voted for Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the Labour Party and I don't even vote Labour. Next week, I going to figure out how to vote for Bernie Sanders as the Democratic presidential candidate and I'm not even an American!

So you're the voter fraud the wingnuts have been warning us about!

**retroanalyst** · August 23rd, 2015, 05:31 PM

News: Head lice now resistant to usual medical treatments.

The problem has scientists scratching their heads.

**SanteeFats** · August 23rd, 2015, 06:35 PM

What is better than a cold Bud? A warm bush.

Why did God give Black guy's big dicks? He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

**mrfixit** · August 24th, 2015, 01:08 AM

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

**SanteeFats** · August 24th, 2015, 05:20 PM

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."

Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

Q. How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
A. Even the pool table has no balls.

**justme21** · August 24th, 2015, 07:14 PM

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an old cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't and the old cow was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
She said that he should resist any request from the farmer to pay for the animal, but she also said, “You killed it, so if they have to have money, it will come out of your pocket!” She stayed in the car making phone calls.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, smeared with lipstick, and was smiling happily.
"What happened to you," asked Hillary?
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me.”
"What did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

**SanteeFats** · August 25th, 2015, 03:07 PM

Q. What’s better than a rose on your piano?
A. Tulips on your organ.

Q. What’s the bad news about being a test tube baby?
A. You know for sure that your dad is a wanker.

Q. What’s the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

August 23rd, 2015, 10:35 AM	#10002
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,117 Thanks: 772,471 Thanked 855,459 Times in 57,549 Posts	I contacted the Pro Claimers but They were abroad,I just got a Letter From America... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 23rd, 2015, 05:31 PM	#10005
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 121,960 Thanked 47,459 Times in 3,337 Posts	News: Head lice now resistant to usual medical treatments. The problem has scientists scratching their heads. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

August 24th, 2015, 01:08 AM	#10007
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,747 Thanked 114,780 Times in 9,415 Posts	Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

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August 23rd, 2015, 09:42 AM	#10001
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,233 Thanks: 19,872 Thanked 69,283 Times in 3,170 Posts

August 23rd, 2015, 01:41 PM	#10003
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,791 Thanks: 281,748 Thanked 813,407 Times in 60,836 Posts	What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

August 23rd, 2015, 06:35 PM	#10006
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,791 Thanks: 281,748 Thanked 813,407 Times in 60,836 Posts	What is better than a cold Bud? A warm bush. Why did God give Black guy's big dicks? He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads. When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

August 24th, 2015, 05:20 PM	#10008
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,791 Thanks: 281,748 Thanked 813,407 Times in 60,836 Posts	How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with "A woman once told me.." Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance. Q. How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar? A. Even the pool table has no balls.

August 24th, 2015, 07:14 PM	#10009
justme21 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2015 Posts: 882 Thanks: 7,757 Thanked 16,628 Times in 880 Posts	Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an old cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't and the old cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She said that he should resist any request from the farmer to pay for the animal, but she also said, “You killed it, so if they have to have money, it will come out of your pocket!” She stayed in the car making phone calls. About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, smeared with lipstick, and was smiling happily. "What happened to you," asked Hillary? "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me.” "What did you tell them?" asked Hillary. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

August 25th, 2015, 03:07 PM	#10010
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,791 Thanks: 281,748 Thanked 813,407 Times in 60,836 Posts	Q. What’s better than a rose on your piano? A. Tulips on your organ. Q. What’s the bad news about being a test tube baby? A. You know for sure that your dad is a wanker. Q. What’s the difference between your paycheck and your cock? A. You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.