Mmmmmmmmm miscellaneous mirth montages. - Page 4

MaxJoker · July 16th, 2009, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DTravel

Not hers or mine, you're the one with the severe muscle atrophy. All skin-n-(green)bones.

I wish

Lately i've been having too much of this

And not enough of this

Leaving me feeling like this

Ps , Know i shouldn`t really have mentioned the walker on the open page as it`s obviously embarrassed you. Just a quick word though , tell Agnes (She left her cardigan behind and her name was on the tag) that i`m forwarding her walker to "Crumbling Cartilage Retirement Home " so not to worry . Also i found a magazine on the seat as well , now i was going to send that to but i noticed your name was written on the back page . What i`m saying is have you still got articels to read , or can i bin it

MaxJoker · August 8th, 2009, 03:52 PM

If only they were this human with their emotions and decisions all the time

MaxJoker · August 13th, 2009, 03:51 PM

Rejoice for what was lost hath now been re-founded . Namely my deferential montage (I don`t really know what that means ) to he of the slack jawed smile and rusted brain

The secret diary of Gordon Brown aged 58¾

11.00am - Wakes up

11.03am - Shaves

11.10am - Breakfast with cabinet

11.30am - Reminisces about the good days

12.00pm - Does 20 minutes of Ti Chi

12.20pm - Decides todays firm policy

12.21pm - Erm ?

12.30pm - Hmmm ?

12.40pm - Duuuh ?

13.00pm - Reassures nation

13.10pm - Watches one trillion magically vanish

13.30pm - Sucks a lemon

13.50pm - Worries that people might discover his true IQ

13.51pm - Remembers the people are more clueless than him

13.55pm - Then accidentally see`s a member of that public

14.00pm - Visitation with his son

14.03pm - Play`s rock paper scissors

14.10pm - Thanks his ex-wife for bringing son

14.30pm - Has photo opportunity with brave cannon fodder

14.35pm - Writes to pen pal

Who three days later returns to sender

15.00pm - Reassures nation again

15.20pm - Looks at Rolex

15.30pm - Smashes economy around for a bit

15.40pm - Explains the sacrifices we`ll have to make

16.00pm -Checks his own pension plan

11.00pm - Prays that something distracting and terrible happens during the night

12.01am - Thinks about population and yawns (Or smiles, i mean who can tell the difference ?)

12.05am - Puts on pajamas

12.06am till 11.00am - Dreams oh so sweetly

" Smile this wide otherwise you`ll all get another tour "

"You taught me everything i know about democracy "

"Together we can achieve grate things "

"Only 30 minutes ?, but together we can achieve great things "

" Oooooo that cloud looks like a pointy hat "

"Ok , ok i`m going "

"So much to do zzzzzzz"

"Pah , i have my own destiny "

"RIP eCONomy "

"Faster , realities catching up "

Oh well things can only get bitter

**blondifan** · October 7th, 2009, 01:49 PM

I'm left wondering if it's still okay to smoke around here?

**nevermind** · November 15th, 2009, 09:30 PM

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUYnecologist

AND

When we have REAL trouble, it's a.. HISterectomy.

Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.

Send this to all the men just to annoy them....

Remember You Don't Stop Laughing Because You Grow Old,
You Grow Old Because You Stop Laughing

**nevermind** · November 15th, 2009, 09:33 PM

And the winner is....

**nevermind** · November 18th, 2009, 07:44 PM

Can someone explain...

**blondifan** · November 21st, 2009, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nevermind

Can someone explain...

Lots of blondes need to be trained. Personally I think Fido is doing a great job!

**Leprechaun** · November 21st, 2009, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondifan

Lots of blondes need to be trained. Personally I think Fido is doing a great job!

While Fido uses his skills beneficial his brother Weirdo moved to the dark side and got a infamous stalker!

**blondifan** · November 21st, 2009, 01:26 PM

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head;
he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the
hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.
This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is
and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?'

August 8th, 2009, 03:52 PM	#32
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	If only they were this human with their emotions and decisions all the time __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 13th, 2009, 03:51 PM	#33
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Rejoice for what was lost hath now been re-founded . Namely my deferential montage (I don`t really know what that means ) to he of the slack jawed smile and rusted brain The secret diary of Gordon Brown aged 58¾ 11.00am - Wakes up 11.03am - Shaves 11.10am - Breakfast with cabinet 11.30am - Reminisces about the good days 12.00pm - Does 20 minutes of Ti Chi 12.20pm - Decides todays firm policy 12.21pm - Erm ? 12.30pm - Hmmm ? 12.40pm - Duuuh ? 13.00pm - Reassures nation 13.10pm - Watches one trillion magically vanish 13.30pm - Sucks a lemon 13.50pm - Worries that people might discover his true IQ 13.51pm - Remembers the people are more clueless than him 13.55pm - Then accidentally see`s a member of that public 14.00pm - Visitation with his son 14.03pm - Play`s rock paper scissors 14.10pm - Thanks his ex-wife for bringing son 14.30pm - Has photo opportunity with brave cannon fodder 14.35pm - Writes to pen pal Who three days later returns to sender 15.00pm - Reassures nation again 15.20pm - Looks at Rolex 15.30pm - Smashes economy around for a bit 15.40pm - Explains the sacrifices we`ll have to make 16.00pm -Checks his own pension plan 11.00pm - Prays that something distracting and terrible happens during the night 12.01am - Thinks about population and yawns (Or smiles, i mean who can tell the difference ?) 12.05am - Puts on pajamas 12.06am till 11.00am - Dreams oh so sweetly " Smile this wide otherwise you`ll all get another tour " "You taught me everything i know about democracy " "Together we can achieve grate things " "Only 30 minutes ?, but together we can achieve great things " " Oooooo that cloud looks like a pointy hat " "Ok , ok i`m going " "So much to do zzzzzzz" "Pah , i have my own destiny " "RIP eCONomy " "Faster , realities catching up " Oh well things can only get bitter __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 15th, 2009, 09:30 PM	#35
nevermind Kurt Cobain 1967- 1994 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: @Home Posts: 2,043 Thanks: 34,651 Thanked 78,259 Times in 2,044 Posts	Men Problems...!!! Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN? MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause GUYnecologist AND When we have REAL trouble, it's a.. HISterectomy. Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day. Send this to all the men just to annoy them.... Remember You Don't Stop Laughing Because You Grow Old, You Grow Old Because You Stop Laughing __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. . Last edited by nevermind; November 15th, 2009 at 10:02 PM..

November 15th, 2009, 09:33 PM	#36
nevermind Kurt Cobain 1967- 1994 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: @Home Posts: 2,043 Thanks: 34,651 Thanked 78,259 Times in 2,044 Posts	Man of the year contest..... *And the winner is....* __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. .

November 18th, 2009, 07:44 PM	#37
nevermind Kurt Cobain 1967- 1994 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: @Home Posts: 2,043 Thanks: 34,651 Thanked 78,259 Times in 2,044 Posts	Leaking dog.... Can someone explain... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. .

October 7th, 2009, 01:49 PM	#34
blondifan Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 4,406 Thanks: 55,000 Thanked 60,210 Times in 4,401 Posts	I'm left wondering if it's still okay to smoke around here?

November 21st, 2009, 01:26 PM	#40
blondifan Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 4,406 Thanks: 55,000 Thanked 60,210 Times in 4,401 Posts	Sleeping dogs An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks. Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.' The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

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