Post your corny jokes - Page 1426

**Sir Honkers** · February 7th, 2019, 08:29 PM

Two Italian men get on a bus engaged in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say, "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You filthy pigs," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Wadda you talka abouta lady," said the man. "I no talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

**jafad** · February 10th, 2019, 07:13 AM

I've got no home ... (sob) ... I've lost control, there's no escape any more.

I really MUST get myself a new keyboard.

**seldomseen** · February 10th, 2019, 09:08 AM

A man walks into the bar and sees a sign:

Handjob: $5

Cheese sandwich: $2

He walks over to the bartender, a big boobied blonde, and asks,

“Are you the one giving out handjobs?”

“Why yes I am!”, she replied, smiling and sticking out her chest.

“Okay,” he said.

“Now wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich!”

**Sir Honkers** · February 10th, 2019, 09:29 AM

There used to be a street in Hollywood called Chuck Norris Blvd, but they had to rename it...because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

**photoflex** · February 10th, 2019, 10:09 AM

Council orders crack down on builder's cleavage

**gedly** · February 10th, 2019, 03:27 PM

If's there's a society for people with high IQs, Mensa, is there a society for people with low IQs?

**Mal Hombre** · February 10th, 2019, 05:06 PM

Densa

**les1917lie** · February 11th, 2019, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

If's there's a society for people with high IQs, Mensa, is there a society for people with low IQs?

There ought to be a society for people who ask totally stupid questions.

for example(overheard)first person: " I won't be at work next week, I'm going on holiday"
second person " Are you going anywhere nice?" doh...

in similar vein. A couple turn up at a given address for friend's dinner party after being given directions to the house by the owner. On opening the door, the owner says "Oh , you found
it then?" doh..

There are many many more.........Dave Allen was excellent at identifying such...

~~}[eywood~~ · February 11th, 2019, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

If's there's a society for people with high IQs, Mensa, is there a society for people with low IQs?

As illustrated above yes there is. it's called the world we live in

**Sir Honkers** · February 11th, 2019, 09:15 AM

Q: When is the best time to add insult to injury?
A; When you're signing someone's cast

February 10th, 2019, 09:08 AM	#14253
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 711,950 Times in 38,112 Posts	A man walks into the bar and sees a sign: Handjob: $5 Cheese sandwich: $2 He walks over to the bartender, a big boobied blonde, and asks, “Are you the one giving out handjobs?” “Why yes I am!”, she replied, smiling and sticking out her chest. “Okay,” he said. “Now wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich!” __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

February 10th, 2019, 10:09 AM	#14255
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,920 Thanked 127,768 Times in 3,570 Posts	Council orders crack down on builder's cleavage __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

February 10th, 2019, 05:06 PM	#14257
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,127 Thanks: 772,558 Thanked 855,623 Times in 57,558 Posts	Densa __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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February 7th, 2019, 08:29 PM	#14251
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,335 Thanks: 286,762 Thanked 386,076 Times in 30,291 Posts	Two Italian men get on a bus engaged in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say, "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You filthy pigs," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Wadda you talka abouta lady," said the man. "I no talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

February 10th, 2019, 07:13 AM	#14252
jafad Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 547 Thanks: 740 Thanked 10,278 Times in 547 Posts	I've got no home ... (sob) ... I've lost control, there's no escape any more. I really MUST get myself a new keyboard.

February 10th, 2019, 09:29 AM	#14254
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,335 Thanks: 286,762 Thanked 386,076 Times in 30,291 Posts	There used to be a street in Hollywood called Chuck Norris Blvd, but they had to rename it...because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

February 10th, 2019, 03:27 PM	#14256
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,304 Times in 3,171 Posts	If's there's a society for people with high IQs, Mensa, is there a society for people with low IQs?

February 11th, 2019, 09:15 AM	#14260
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,335 Thanks: 286,762 Thanked 386,076 Times in 30,291 Posts	Q: When is the best time to add insult to injury? A; When you're signing someone's cast