Looking St. Peter in the eye-What have you done? - Page 2

willy9b · January 23rd, 2010, 02:24 PM

Well, if eelcat can do it, so can I...

A zebra arrives at the pearly gates and is welcomed by St Peter, who shows him round.

"Well, Mr Zebra, any questions before I leave you?"

"Just one, St Peter, there is something I've been wondering all my life -- I know that I'm a horse with stripes, but am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?"

" Hmmmm, you know I've never been asked that one before, but I'll tell you what Mr Zebra, God is over there on that cloud -- why don't you trot over and ask him?"

The zebra trots over to God and poses him the question.

"Well, my son, what can I say? -- You are what you are."

"Oh, right, well, thanks for that God."

The zebra trots back to St Peter and explains that he's really none the wiser.

"Well, what exactly did our Lord say to you?"

"He said, 'You are what you are', whatever that means."

"Oh, well, there's your answer -- you are a white horse with black stripes; if you had been a black horse with white stripes then God would have said 'You is what you is'!!"

**Xexemedes** · January 23rd, 2010, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brianwp

Don't mean to be a downer, but in reality, (at least theologically), you're not going to answer to St. Peter. And your entrance to heaven will have nothing at all to do with what you did here on earth. Most of you guys are Protestants, surely you understand that, right?

You heretic! I'm rounding up anklebiter and the boys, we are gathering an impressive collection of torches and pitchforks and we are driving into the deepsouth first thing in the morning! If there is not a proper crawfish boil spread out on your table or at least a full rack (or 2-1/2racks) of ribs on the grill with roasting potatoes we torch your outhouse!

MaxJoker · January 23rd, 2010, 05:43 PM

Won`t say as i don`t like blowing my own horn , and certainly wouldn`t blow Pete`s just to get through those pearly gates

**eelcat** · January 23rd, 2010, 07:10 PM

If I found myself at the Pearly Gates I would immediately think that even athiests can get into heaven.
Now there's a conundrum for you

massivemass · January 24th, 2010, 12:16 AM

"I just really need to use the St. John in there."

**anklebiter** · January 24th, 2010, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eelcat

If I found myself at the Pearly Gates I would immediately think that even athiests can get into heaven.
Now there's a conundrum for you

I would be amazed if an atheist was denied access.There's so many religions, so many variations of any faith at all- from Christianity, to Wicca .The only thing for sure is man cannot agree.
Still, if he lives within the boundaries of 'being a decent human' , chose the high road now and then- I would think, if there was a Heaven, you'd be in.

Going back to the point of the thread though-I really didn't mean for a religious discussion to start.I was trying to ask what is the greatest thing you've accomplished on a human level.Not how much money did you make, or how many babes did you screw....more like, what GOOD have you done.That's all.I only used St. Peter as a symbol of the mirror you reflect in.

**Toxic Dog** · January 24th, 2010, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by widower54

I took care of my Wonderful Wife, Friend and Lover through Her Cancer and never left her side, Stayed positive even when we both knew the end was soon and held her in my arms as she passed on as it was for better or for worse and i held up my end to those words i spoke 21 years to the hour we were married....Nuff said...And she better be holding me a spot up there Damnit!!!!

Respect.

Aubrey · January 24th, 2010, 11:00 AM

Had one of our cats put down - this morning - so that he wouldn't suffer any more. I can hardly see what I'm typing.

**dohupa** · January 24th, 2010, 02:21 PM

The male role model of God/St Peter gets on my nerves - why not a lady in a fine nightgown invite you in, eh?

Seriously though, I think this here is all there is (sorry to spoil it for you, but most likely God/Goddess is all man fiction

). However, if in some fantastic scenario I was in there scared shitless with me iPod earphones and the tune Knocking on Heaven's door running through my brains....

I'd say I'm proud of my education which took considerable effort (I recently completed a 2nd post-grad course

) and took care of my late father through cancer as well. Stayed right next to him many nights and towards the end we had talks so intimate that I will never forget - he was a great guy too, never heard him in the house shouting EVER.

I did fuck up big time in relationships though, so I'd ask for forgiveness though in most cases I was the one being screwed/betrayed.

Anyway, all things considered I'd say I did a pretty good job and apologies for the porn my Lord - but this was my poison eh?

**eelcat** · January 24th, 2010, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dohupa

Anyway, all things considered I'd say I did a pretty good job and apologies for the porn my Lord - but this was my poison eh?

Why apologise for viewing something that all Gods creations do naturally?
God is omniscient so he knew all along that you would be this way when he created you. So when the time comes St Peter will be holding the gates open for you.

January 23rd, 2010, 05:43 PM	#13
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Won`t say as i don`t like blowing my own horn , and certainly wouldn`t blow Pete`s just to get through those pearly gates __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 24th, 2010, 02:21 PM	#19
dohupa Beer, porn and whatnot... Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Athens Posts: 3,643 Thanks: 5,623 Thanked 73,135 Times in 3,245 Posts	The male role model of God/St Peter gets on my nerves - why not a lady in a fine nightgown invite you in, eh? Seriously though, I think this here is all there is (sorry to spoil it for you, but most likely God/Goddess is all man fiction ). However, if in some fantastic scenario I was in there scared shitless with me iPod earphones and the tune Knocking on Heaven's door running through my brains.... I'd say I'm proud of my education which took considerable effort (I recently completed a 2nd post-grad course ) and took care of my late father through cancer as well. Stayed right next to him many nights and towards the end we had talks so intimate that I will never forget - he was a great guy too, never heard him in the house shouting EVER. I did fuck up big time in relationships though, so I'd ask for forgiveness though in most cases I was the one being screwed/betrayed. Anyway, all things considered I'd say I did a pretty good job and apologies for the porn my Lord - but this was my poison eh? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by dohupa; January 24th, 2010 at 02:30 PM..

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January 23rd, 2010, 02:24 PM	#11
willy9b Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 56 Thanks: 328 Thanked 1,016 Times in 56 Posts	Well, if eelcat can do it, so can I... A zebra arrives at the pearly gates and is welcomed by St Peter, who shows him round. "Well, Mr Zebra, any questions before I leave you?" "Just one, St Peter, there is something I've been wondering all my life -- I know that I'm a horse with stripes, but am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?" " Hmmmm, you know I've never been asked that one before, but I'll tell you what Mr Zebra, God is over there on that cloud -- why don't you trot over and ask him?" The zebra trots over to God and poses him the question. "Well, my son, what can I say? -- You are what you are." "Oh, right, well, thanks for that God." The zebra trots back to St Peter and explains that he's really none the wiser. "Well, what exactly did our Lord say to you?" "He said, 'You are what you are', whatever that means." "Oh, well, there's your answer -- you are a white horse with black stripes; if you had been a black horse with white stripes then God would have said 'You is what you is'!!"

January 23rd, 2010, 07:10 PM	#14
eelcat Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 660 Thanks: 2,389 Thanked 6,300 Times in 648 Posts	If I found myself at the Pearly Gates I would immediately think that even athiests can get into heaven. Now there's a conundrum for you

January 24th, 2010, 12:16 AM	#15
massivemass Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 72 Thanks: 74 Thanked 394 Times in 71 Posts	"I just really need to use the St. John in there."

January 24th, 2010, 11:00 AM	#18
Aubrey Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 406 Thanks: 10,881 Thanked 3,510 Times in 392 Posts	Had one of our cats put down - this morning - so that he wouldn't suffer any more. I can hardly see what I'm typing.