What`s your typical day like ?

[Simo]

Quite pleased with myself for concentrating on the paper work all this afternoon , think if i do another few hours tonight and spend the weekend and especially sunday fully focused on it i should have cleared a good two thirds before monday. Just a pity i didnt do this a month ago as i could have used this weekend to relax a bit. As for my typical day well thats difficult as every day is a bit different, on average i see about 25 people during morning sugery suffering anything from angina and piles to anything inbetween.Then after that i deal with the repeat prescriptions ,mail and call backs .Sometimes im tabled for home visits and if so i head out as that can take up a large part of the early afternoon , then its a quick bite to eat and evening surgery starts.If im lucky thatll end on time and after sorting out more repeats and calls i will get home around 8.30pm , having as usual missed the family dinner and any discussions about what my two youngest got up to at school.So i have a pint with my supper and tell the wife my troubles ,then if im feeling really energetic ill pop in some ear plugs and go plow through the latest medical updates until i get to bed. only if im unlucky with the draw two nights a week ill be on call which can really put a dent in your sleep patterns ,although sometimes i have to do three nights which doesnt just dent them it cracks them.

The joys of general practice

[buggeration]

Wake up. Have sex. Work. Home from work. Sex. Tea. Lots of beer. Bed. Sex. Sleep - pretty average, really.

[MaxJoker]

Last Sunday

6.50am - Get up later than I wanted
7.00am - Rush to wash and get dressed
7.15am - Put food down for the still sleeping cat
7.19am - Leave without having anything to eat or anything proper to drink
7.23am - Arrive on pavement and look for my ride that’ll take me into the country to help in clearing out a friend of a friend’s dead aunt’s house
7.30am - Still waiting = Typical !
7.32am - Ride arrives, it’s (Let’s call her Lucy , as that’s her name ) the friend of a friend who’s house it now is
7.46am - We`ve said our hellos and such like and now heading down the road, dry mouthed small talk ensues until
8.00am - When I realize we’re heading closer to the country
8.01am - I ask if she is going to pick anybody else up , she say’s no
8.02am - I innocently ask if the other’s coming to help out are getting there under their own steam
8.03am - I am informed that the other two blokes and one girl have pulled out = Typical !
8.04am - I`m asked if that’s a problem, I say no and smile as thoughts run through my mind (She’s a very tricky one , but is cute and has long dark hair and darker eyes plus there`s going to be just the two of us)
8.05am - Dawns on me that I’m on my way to clear a house more or less on my own
8.06am - Chronic depression sets in
8.07am - Lucy scratches her bare thigh
8.08am - It lifts
8.09am – 9.22am - Light hearted small talk and me avoiding mentioning the fact she’s got nicely toned legs and the shorts she’s wearing were a great choice
9.23am - A dead crow hits the windscreen as the house comes into view , there’s a giant skip on the driveway , i keep my eyes trained on the windows in case Norman Bates twitches the curtains
9.25 am – We’re both out of the car and I’m standing near the boot as i`m expecting to maybe unpack the supplies first (I am so naive ) , she say’s “Let’s go then “
9.26am – I follow, as i’ll always follow if the girl ahead has tasty legs
9.30am - Enter the house of hell with the haunting long deceased cabbage soup smell
9.31am - 9.48am - Checked out the place and learned the relatives had already been through it with the finest tooth comb and that what was left was to be dumped , also discovered there were no window keys and so they all had to remain locked = Typical !
9.50am - Chronic heat stroke sets in
10.00am - Lucy joins me in the dusty main bedroom and asks if i`d like a drink , i say a very milky sweet almost cold coffee would be good around now , she say`s the fridge is empty but that the kitchen taps are working fine so there`s plenty of water
10.01am - Chronic dehydration sets in alongside the heat stroke
10.02am - Lucy apologizes for the lack of choice and that heart i don`t have melts , mind you it was reaching a thousand degrees by then so that could have had something to do with it ?
10.04am - Learn a new thing , that being the bed and furniture came in through the old window (Pre-double glazing) and that if i`m going to get it downstairs i`m going to have to downsize
10.20am - Have managed to find a heavy iron door stop and a bone handled carving knife so stagger back to the hottest room on earth and go to work
10.31am - Have sweated into my jeans and turned my once pristine scanner t-shirt into a second skin , but the double bed is in two halves and the cheesy furniture in handy bitsize chunks
10.52am - Back and forth i go until finally there`s only the carpet left which i get up by use of my plucky knife and sheer Skull strength
10.55am - So thirsty now i head to the kitchen sink and turn the cold tap on full , i`m met with a luke warm trickle so decide against risking it
11.00 am - Find Lucy in the back bedroom going through her late aunts paper work and receipts , her hairs tied back and i can see a look of adorable concentration on her oval face
11.01am - Decide that i love Lucy (Ho ho)
11.02am - Realize it`s just the lack of liquid and grub talking , i shuffle off
11.05am - Now in the second slightly smaller bedroom , there`s a hardboard solid wood bed to dismantle and piles of newspapers and and and well believe me you just don`t want to know
11.24am - Accidentally stand on one of the beds frames and a nail goes through my shoe and into the ball of my left foot = Typical !
11.25am - Pull it out and debate just getting on with stuff
11.26am - Figure i better go clean it
11.30am - Find out there`s no hot water in the bathroom , but after a brief search unearth some bacteria spray which say`s it kill`s 99 known germs , take off my shoe and sock , give the foot a damn good couple of squeezes then several sprays , squeeze again and wipe with the toilet paper that was thankfully there. Cover it with more paper , then slowly roasted it with a few onions and some carrots . Just kidding , and just checking to see if you read this far ?. Man and if you did i owe you and your eyesight more than i can ever repay . Anyway i fix up my foot and use the sock to keep the useless bandage on, then head back to the second bedroom
13.10pm - The basturd room is now cleared but i`ve lost roughly forty pints of water in the battle
13.25pm - Catch up with Lucy who`s still in that room only she`s now putting things in bin bags , our eyes meet
13.26pm - I inquire whether she`s going to go and GET SOME FOOD ! , since by now i've worked out there`s bugger all hiding in the boot that`s edible
13.27 pm - She tells me that we`re (Is that like the royal we`re ?) nearly finished and that there`s no local shops but that she`ll stop at a pub on the way back and treat me
13.28 pm - Decide i hate Lucy
14.00 pm - 15.35pm - The skip is almost full and i've barely got the energy to breath , let alone make a fist as a knackered looking yet lovely Lucy comes past with a single bin bag and gives me a "Keep it up " smile (Little does she know it`s always up when she`s around)
17.06pm - All that i could physically dismantle and trash i have , including myself = Typical !
17.19pm - Lucy has gone over the house and is now praising me for all my hard work , i feel completely dead in every way plus my foot is annoying me
17.20pm - I lie and say how well she did also , and i wonder aloud at how she can work so madly yet still retain her original beauty blah blah blah . Let`s be honest by this time i didn`t know what the fack i was saying . Still she laughed and loosed her hair so it must have been scoring direct hits ?
17.57pm - We pull away from the hot house and i struggle to avoid slipping into a dehydrated , heat stroke , starvation based blood loss coma
18.40pm - Arrive at a pub called The Ship Inn , sadly i died ten minutes earlier but i don`t let on and walk zombie like to the bar with a still smiling Lucy
19.00pm - I`m faced with the worst fillet steak i've ever seen , but desperation wins out so i take a shaky bite . Yes it had been defrosted in the microwave from frozen and from the watery taste of it cooked by the same method. I say a small prayer and have a mouthful of very pale chips , bloody awful immediately springs to mind. Along with the thought "How the crap do you mess up chips ?" , there`s a salad there which i of course ignore. I down my second pint of 1664 and hook the eye of the circus reject who`s passing for a barmaid / waitress
19.20pm - My complaint has been logged and a new order made , i have a pepsi max as since i`ve not eaten for a hundred years i could feel the drink having an effect
19.28pm - Lucy has long finished her salad and fried fish and is nursing a lemonade, while looking at me with total lust. Of course i`m only guessing at that last bit as by now i had collapsed and was being resuscitated by an ambulance crew
19.30pm - My BBQ ribs arrive , it`s the smallest rack i`ve ever seen (And i once saw Kate moss wearing a boob tube in Covent garden) plus yes they`re cold and yet over cooked ???
19.31pm- = Typical !
19.33 pm - Lucy pays for a few snacks from behind the bar ,what she had and what i drank , we leave
19.35 pm - Heading home together , i`m stuffing cadburys in my mouth and crisps not very attractive i know but i`m beyond caring
19.36pm - 8.30pm ? - Hooray home , but booo the street as usual is ,full of cars (Look up)

??.?? pm - Somehow i get a small kiss and hug from Lucy (At least i hope it was her ?) then make it up the stairs to the front door then into the lift , and to the top floor. Can`t remember exactly what happened after i got my key in the door other than i was passing in and out of consciousness all evening with Biscuit patting my fevered brow while feeding me cat snacks and water (At least i hope it was water)

Update

My foot is fine but the sock died
I`m now down to 17 stone (For now)
Lucy has since told the friend of a friend how disappointed she was that there was no place to park her car as she`d have liked to have had a coffee


TYPICAL !!!

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by GreenSkull

Last Sunday
6.50am - Get up later than I wanted

TYPICAL !!!

Too early

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

Too early

And that`s far too short a post



Anyway where you are it`d be about ten to four in the afternoon , so why worry ?

[mschaeffer33]

I whack off then I go back to sleep. Then I write for 90 minutes. Then I search for porn. Dinner then back to sleep. TV around 9 or 10 then whack off again.

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by forgan

I can't say I have a typical day

Guess what i really meant (Without even knowing myself what i originally meant) was a day where if something stupid can go wrong to derail that day it did so

Or in other words those moments where you've either put in the hard graft or leg work then suddenly out of the blue something happens that make`s you think = TYPICAL !


Because personally speaking they've been numerous occasions where i've spent a certain period of time with a woman (Although i tend not to if she`s actually on her period ) and done say a hundred things right (For exaggerated example) during the day or evening , but then just when it's coming down to the final pay off "Sod`s law steps in" and = TYPICAL !

Take late last August for example (Yay finally an example i hear you all cry) i`d taken this girl out (Let`s call her Sarah, as that was and i guess still is her name) spent most of the afternoon with her and it`d gone smooth. Then i drop her off and pick her up earlier that evening and we do the old oriental restaurant bit. We chat , we eat etc .I pay ,we leave . Then we`re heading down the main city centre and there`s this glassy eyed famine relief guy all in red ,with a clipboard and an all so obvious earnest attitude. So i of course try and subtly go around him while pointing out the marvelous cloud formations to my companion. Not that this stops the bloke as he makes a move and heads us off at the pass so to speak , then while closing in fast AND inturupting me he says

"Excuse me ,can i ask a question ?"

I come back with

"You just did "

Ok so maybe my tone was overly aggressive (As she claimed several feet further down the street ) , but i was on a date for Christs sake AND heading for a touch down and any man with any sense know`s never to butt in on a brother`s courting !

Anyway my labored point to all this is those three words set off a chain of events which wiped out all my hard work during that day , not to mention the cost , only i will as that`s just my way = A hundred and twenty three pounds !

Oh and when i say chain of events i`m talking about the conversation we HAD to have over why i`d said what i`d said etc etc etc

A conversation which ultimately deteriorated and led to a mutually agreed upon division of our original number when i told her (Although a harsher judge might say yelled ?) that "It`s not like those pricks do it for nothing , they`re on commission for facks sake !"

So for want of simple smile accompanied by a hearty "No thanks" on my part (With who know`s maybe even a side order of "But have a good evening " ) i end up out of pocket and really out of Sarah , in fact so out i never even got in !!!

TYPICAL !

[brianwp]

Originally Posted by buggeration

Wake up. Have sex. Work. Home from work. Sex. Tea. Lots of beer. Bed. Sex. Sleep - pretty average, really.

Oh, boo hoo! Pretty average? For who..Leonardo DiCaprio? Jeez!

[brianwp]

Originally Posted by mschaeffer33

I whack off then I go back to sleep. Then I write for 90 minutes. Then I search for porn. Dinner then back to sleep. TV around 9 or 10 then whack off again.

And you're another one! You write for 90 minutes? Ooooh! A whole 90 minutes? Then you spend the rest of the day sleeping, eating, and waxing your carrot? Aww, poor you!

[tabler]

brian you daft bugger, Ive just snorted tea down my nose!