Post your corny jokes - Page 1215

**gedly** · April 12th, 2017, 10:05 PM

A gangster and loan shark goes to see a family of cannibals who owe him money. "By the way", the gangster asks, "have you seen my minders Luke and Bob?". "Well, I've got to feed my kids", the woman replies.

Aaron · April 13th, 2017, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Told my doctor, "I must have a problem with my penis , Just before I'm about to make love to my girlfriend , she always laughs at it" ,
"Don't worry that's quite normal" he replied ,
"Really ?" I said relieved ,
"Yes" He answered ,
"She laughs at everyone's" .

If I weren't your doctor and concerned about maintaining my professional distance, I'd laugh at your penis, too!

**ruffroundedges** · April 14th, 2017, 07:45 PM

- What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

- Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

- What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

- What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

- What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.

- Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes? Because at 69 they blow a rod.

**PJayBr** · April 17th, 2017, 02:41 PM

Been a clairvoyant 20 years this week. I remember my first day like it was tomorrow......

**PJayBr** · April 17th, 2017, 02:42 PM

I've just formed a new band to play at children's parties for the under 5's. We're gping to be called The Safety Scissor Sisters.

**photoflex** · April 17th, 2017, 07:00 PM

There is no way I can post this joke here, so here's the link to the Longest Joke in the World:
http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com/

**photoflex** · April 17th, 2017, 07:09 PM

FACT:

Bootle-born comic John Martin smashed the world record for continuous joke-telling in 1993, with an ear-splitting 101 hours and 39 minutes of solid, uninterrupted gags.

His Guinness Book of World Records Award states he won it for 'the longest recorded period without a single laugh'.

**photoflex** · April 18th, 2017, 04:04 PM

Query.

Given the choice between never drinking wine again or gaining 20 Kg,
what would you choose?

Red or white?

**effCup** · April 18th, 2017, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photoflex

Red or white?

There's always pink.

... or else "orange".

**photoflex** · April 18th, 2017, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effCup

There's always pink.

... or else "orange".

That would result in a 40 Kg weight gain!
Can you afford to get 10% heavier?

April 14th, 2017, 07:45 PM	#12143
ruffroundedges Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention? Posts: 5,198 Thanks: 79,034 Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts	- What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. - Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful. - What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it. - What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball! - What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen. - Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes? Because at 69 they blow a rod. __________________ Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 17th, 2017, 07:00 PM	#12146
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,922 Thanked 127,778 Times in 3,570 Posts	There is no way I can post this joke here, so here's the link to the Longest Joke in the World: http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com/ __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

April 17th, 2017, 07:09 PM	#12147
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,922 Thanked 127,778 Times in 3,570 Posts	FACT: Bootle-born comic John Martin smashed the world record for continuous joke-telling in 1993, with an ear-splitting 101 hours and 39 minutes of solid, uninterrupted gags. His Guinness Book of World Records Award states he won it for 'the longest recorded period without a single laugh'. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

April 18th, 2017, 04:04 PM	#12148
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,922 Thanked 127,778 Times in 3,570 Posts	Query. Given the choice between never drinking wine again or gaining 20 Kg, what would you choose? Red or white? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

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April 12th, 2017, 10:05 PM	#12141
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,310 Times in 3,171 Posts	A gangster and loan shark goes to see a family of cannibals who owe him money. "By the way", the gangster asks, "have you seen my minders Luke and Bob?". "Well, I've got to feed my kids", the woman replies.

April 17th, 2017, 02:41 PM	#12144
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,311 Thanks: 41,645 Thanked 13,692 Times in 1,281 Posts	Been a clairvoyant 20 years this week. I remember my first day like it was tomorrow......

April 17th, 2017, 02:42 PM	#12145
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,311 Thanks: 41,645 Thanked 13,692 Times in 1,281 Posts	I've just formed a new band to play at children's parties for the under 5's. We're gping to be called The Safety Scissor Sisters.