Post your corny jokes - Page 1209

**gmcbee** · March 23rd, 2017, 02:30 AM

*peengoon...

Havinfun · March 25th, 2017, 06:29 PM

Why did the condom cross the road?

He got pissed off.

**photoflex** · March 25th, 2017, 09:16 PM

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!"
She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly parted.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

Estreeter · March 26th, 2017, 02:15 PM

This Lady got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and threw them out the front door then told him to get out.

As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."

He turned around and said, "So, does that mean you want me to stay?"

**gedly** · March 26th, 2017, 04:18 PM

Should depressed people have euthanasia? Well, it would certainly put them out of their misery.

Aaron · March 27th, 2017, 01:55 PM

I asked a lady friend if she would have sex with me. She replied,"The short answer is no."

Curious, I asked what the long answer was.

"Noooooooooooooooo!"

**otokonomidori** · March 27th, 2017, 11:39 PM

A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.

The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.

He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.

He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."

"Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."

**gmcbee** · March 28th, 2017, 04:06 AM

I would have liked that, but it's been done so often.
BZZZZZZT. Sorry.
Next.

**gmcbee** · March 28th, 2017, 04:08 AM

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a Mormon?
A basement full of stolen groceries.

petvictor · March 28th, 2017, 02:15 PM

For people who say,,Nothing Lasts Forever,,,,try wanking to a nude picture of Susan Boyle

March 25th, 2017, 06:29 PM	#12082
Havinfun Member Join Date: Mar 2017 Location: Idaho Posts: 45 Thanks: 285 Thanked 505 Times in 41 Posts	Why did the condom cross the road? He got pissed off. __________________ I try my best to give credit to the original photographers, but, if I miss any, I am thankful to them.

March 25th, 2017, 09:16 PM	#12083
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,920 Thanked 127,769 Times in 3,570 Posts	An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly parted. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching." __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

March 26th, 2017, 02:15 PM	#12084
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,112 Thanks: 449,687 Thanked 896,750 Times in 60,308 Posts	This Lady got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and threw them out the front door then told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "So, does that mean you want me to stay?" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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March 23rd, 2017, 02:30 AM	#12081
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	*peengoon...

March 26th, 2017, 04:18 PM	#12085
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,306 Times in 3,171 Posts	Should depressed people have euthanasia? Well, it would certainly put them out of their misery.

March 27th, 2017, 01:55 PM	#12086
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	I asked a lady friend if she would have sex with me. She replied,"The short answer is no." Curious, I asked what the long answer was. "Noooooooooooooooo!"

March 27th, 2017, 11:39 PM	#12087
otokonomidori 緑の男 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Jockistan, UK. Posts: 8,316 Thanks: 39,016 Thanked 122,404 Times in 8,316 Posts	A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."

March 28th, 2017, 04:06 AM	#12088
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	I would have liked that, but it's been done so often. BZZZZZZT. Sorry. Next.

March 28th, 2017, 04:08 AM	#12089
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a Mormon? A basement full of stolen groceries.

March 28th, 2017, 02:15 PM	#12090
petvictor Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 56 Thanks: 1,012 Thanked 701 Times in 50 Posts	For people who say,,Nothing Lasts Forever,,,,try wanking to a nude picture of Susan Boyle