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January 6th, 2011, 03:06 PM | #1 |
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Most absurd argument with GF, wife, etc.
If you're a member here, you're of the age where you've probably had more than one of these in your life. The only rule the good Dr. Hackenbush requires is that it had to happen to YOU. None of this "friend of a friend" stuff. I'll go first:
HH: The Smiths are throwing a party. Do you want to go? GF: No, I don't feel like it. HH: OK, we won't go then. GF: Do you want to go? HH: Yeah, he's a mate of mine and I haven't seen him for a long time. GF: Well, then you should go. HH: I don't want to go without you honey. GF: I'll be OK. I'll just invite a girlfriend over and we'll talk. HH: You sure? GF: Sure, go ahead. THE NEXT DAY: Clearly there is "attitude" in the air. HH: Honey, what's wrong? GF: I can't BELIEVE you went to that party without me! HH: You told me it was OK to go! (wait for it) GF: You should have known I didn't mean it! Last edited by HugoHackenbush; January 6th, 2011 at 05:31 PM.. |
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January 6th, 2011, 03:34 PM | #2 |
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Sunday:
WF: This butter is soft, you should put it in the fridge BB: OK, no problem The following Sunday WF: This butter is solid, you should leave it out of the fridge BB: ' '
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January 6th, 2011, 03:53 PM | #3 |
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My first wife dreamt I had shagged another woman. She went on and on about it, as if I really had. In truth though, I had been shagging another woman, but not the one she'd dreamt about.
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January 6th, 2011, 05:09 PM | #4 |
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If that wasn't you who farted, who the hell was it?..
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January 6th, 2011, 05:55 PM | #5 |
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After assembling a wardrobe, a bed and erecting shelves. "why do you sit around doing nothing. (big glare) I have washing and ironing to do! We never win.
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January 6th, 2011, 06:32 PM | #6 |
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Wife "Do You fancy staying in or eating out?"
Me "Don't mind, up to you" Wife "You chose" Me "Ok. We've eaten out twice this week lets stay in" Wife "So I've got to cook for you!" Me "Ok, we'll eat out then!" Wife "No, you've chosen now!" Bad feeling ensues that lasts a few days. Wife is now ex .. albeit 11 years later! |
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January 6th, 2011, 07:18 PM | #7 |
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A variation on Nylon's posting ...
S58 "So, where do you fancy going for a meal this evening?" GF "Anywhere." S58 "OK. How about the Greek place?" GF "No. Not that." S58 "Where then?" GF "Anywhere." S58 "The new Chinese place?" GF "No. Not that." S58 "Where then?" GF "Anywhere." S58 "The Indian place?" GF "No. Not that" S58 "The Turkish place?" GF "No. Not that" S58 "McDonalds? A chippie? The pub?" GF "No. Not them" S58 "FFS! Where? GF "Anywhere!" |
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January 6th, 2011, 07:58 PM | #8 |
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Thank the one above my current gf isn't like this. If she doesn't want to go out somewhere and thinks that I do, she'll let me go without malice or dragging something up the following day. My ex was not as sane, however.
[Setting the scene: in the car after a fairly pleasant afternoon doing whatnot in Whatnot. It was quite a while back as the car had a cassette player.] ExSharkyMissus: I've had enough of this tape, shall we change it now? Sharky: Yeah OK. ESM: What do you fancy? Sharky: Anything, you choose. ESM: I can't think of anything. Sharky: Erm... ESM: You choose. Sharky: The Fleetwood Mac compilation? ESM: Nah. Sharky: Mike Oldfield? ESM: Nah, don't feel like that. Sharky: [taps fingers on steering wheel] ESM: You choose one then, just grab something random. Sharky: [grabs the first tape he can find and slots it into the player, ensuring that he is watching the road with at least one hand on the wheel without looking at the tape. The first few bars of Bat out of Hell start playing...] ESM: Not fucking Meatloaf! [Ejects tape and throws it out of the window] I dumped her not long after that. For the fifth time in the space of eighteen months, I think. She was bordering on the insane, but had great tits and a tight snatch...
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January 6th, 2011, 08:12 PM | #9 |
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This Is Classic
Don't forget this statement's evil twin: "Oh, you don't really want that!"
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January 6th, 2011, 08:45 PM | #10 |
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My bird called round this morning with breakfast in a Styrofoam box. I put the kettle on, made some coffee, then made toast. Then I got "what's wrong is this not good enough?" I should have said YES! But I presented the coffee and toast and ate some greasy crap. I was hoping she'd join me in bed for a lie-in. No. Walked out muttering under her breath. I'm unemployed at the mo, so i'm looking for a slave job. I mean, she could have shared the duvet for a while Well next time she wants a shag i'm playing hard to get
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