Post your corny jokes - Page 1233

**Isegrim** · May 25th, 2017, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effCup

Joke within joke? ...

Yes, mainly coined to bridge the unelegant gap between your "half-pregnant" and my "pregnant" ...

This was a brain twister. I laid stress on the fact that the two meanings of "pregnant" (pause) are often so convoluted that you can hardly tell which one is meant, like in:

"A pregnant pause is a pause in speech lasting 280 days or 40 weeks, whichever comes first. The pause ends with birth."

Though the focus is seemingly on rhetorics this fun definition is really from a pregnancy site.

"Pregnant pause for Punchlines" from the article is a similar example ...

My "pregnant pauses can be used for punchlines" turned it around a second time ...

**effCup** · May 25th, 2017, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isegrim

This was a brain twister.

I'm not a joke-teller.

As erdy once said: Wortspiele.

As ruff might say: pull someone's finger, why don't you?

No, they don't connect, just illustrate.

If you ever think you've worked it out, let me know.

**ruffroundedges** · May 25th, 2017, 08:57 PM

- What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
"Olive or twist?"

- Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?
2 drinks.

- What is the similarity between American beer and having sex in a rowboat?
They are both SO close to water!

- Two midgets walk into a mini-bar....................................

**gmcbee** · May 26th, 2017, 03:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruffroundedges

- What is the similarity between American beer and having sex in a rowboat?
They are both SO close to water!

Eric Idle tells it better.

**gmcbee** · May 26th, 2017, 03:53 AM

As a follow up, we homebrewers *know* why American beer is (typically) fkng close to water.
Hint: it has to do with WWII. I'll let you do the research.

That's changing now, with homebrewing and craft brewing (or microbrewing, if you prefer) on the rise. Rise? Nay, EXPLODING!

Read some beer history for a fun jaunt.

**Staffsyeoman** · May 26th, 2017, 03:33 PM

For sale. One wall barometer, broken. Offers welcome. No pressure.

silkies · May 27th, 2017, 05:31 PM

Why aren't there any transvestites in NASA?

Because there is no drag in space.

**gedly** · May 27th, 2017, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Staffsyeoman

For sale. One wall barometer, broken. Offers welcome. No pressure.

I once saw an advert for a broken watch. Claimed it told the time with precise accuracy twice a day.

Aaron · May 28th, 2017, 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I once saw an advert for a broken watch. Claimed it told the time with precise accuracy twice a day.

The Zen Clock has no hands, just the word "NOW" written on the face.

**Silklover** · May 28th, 2017, 10:11 AM

Now´s the time. "Almost" a joke here now, my goodness!

May 25th, 2017, 08:57 PM	#12323
ruffroundedges Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention? Posts: 5,198 Thanks: 79,034 Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts	- What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? "Olive or twist?" - Whats the difference between a dog and a fox? 2 drinks. - What is the similarity between American beer and having sex in a rowboat? They are both SO close to water! - Two midgets walk into a mini-bar.................................... __________________ Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 27th, 2017, 05:31 PM	#12327
silkies Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 373 Thanks: 3,427 Thanked 8,204 Times in 366 Posts	Why aren't there any transvestites in NASA? Because there is no drag in space. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 28th, 2017, 10:11 AM	#12330
Silklover Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Next to you Posts: 1,253 Thanks: 17,262 Thanked 17,818 Times in 1,241 Posts	time Now´s the time. "Almost" a joke here now, my goodness!

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May 26th, 2017, 03:53 AM	#12325
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	As a follow up, we homebrewers know why American beer is (typically) fkng close to water. Hint: it has to do with WWII. I'll let you do the research. That's changing now, with homebrewing and craft brewing (or microbrewing, if you prefer) on the rise. Rise? Nay, EXPLODING! Read some beer history for a fun jaunt.

May 26th, 2017, 03:33 PM	#12326
Staffsyeoman Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,268 Thanks: 34,177 Thanked 26,750 Times in 2,159 Posts	For sale. One wall barometer, broken. Offers welcome. No pressure.