Charming Ditties "N" Chat Up Lines

MaxJoker · February 10th, 2009, 12:24 PM

Because what other reason do we send cards or for that matter give gifts or pay the check ? , i know i know i`m just a hopeless romantic. Anyway this thread is for those dopey ditties found in amazingly overpriced bits of folded paper , the ones that tell our beloved how we feel about them so we don`t personally have to .If you don`t know what i mean here are a few i`ve just thought of

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I want us to quit
Because i hate you

Roses are pink
Chickens lay eggs
Since i got you this card
Would you spread your legs

Roses are red
Lemons are zesty
I slept with your sister
Because she`s more chesty

Oh and points will be awarded if you make up your own , but plagiarize and i`ll leave you alone

Estreeter · February 10th, 2009, 12:39 PM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're so damn ugly
You belong in a zoo

Estreeter · February 10th, 2009, 12:50 PM

Here is another

Bee's they hum
You have a great bum,
But don't fear my dear
I'll just plough through your mum

beezer60 · February 10th, 2009, 12:51 PM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have Alzheimers
Voilets are blue

Estreeter · February 10th, 2009, 01:05 PM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're so smelly down there
It's worse than my shoe

**tobe2165** · February 10th, 2009, 04:20 PM

You are the sunshine of my life
LSD makes me feel so fine
I wanna stare at you till I got blind
I don´t mind to wear shades all the time
Now that you´re out of my sight
I don´t have to turn off the light
or drink five bottles of wine
you´re disgusting but you´re mine

MaxJoker · February 11th, 2009, 07:35 AM

Some pretty cool ditties there fellow brother members , you know maybe we should start a jingle business. Hey stranger things have happened right ? , and as i always say if Jackson can have three albino kids then surely anything is possible.

I mean we`ve even received our first testimonial from a satisfied customer

Mr A Cuckold / No fixed abode
" The ditties for titties system is truly amazing , i used it the night before tomorrow and saw a real live pair within seven short drinks , can`t thank you guys enough "

Love can die if you keep on your guard
Staying true is equally hard
And why i give you this today
Couldn`t get the money back on the card

Goats enjoy straw
Horses eat hay
We were together last night
Now i`ve turned gay

Time spent with you
Is really the pits
That`s why i can`t go on
And in the bath with slit wrists

Estreeter · February 12th, 2009, 03:16 AM

Here i sit,
Taking a shit,
Tossing off,
To a pic of your tit

Estreeter · February 12th, 2009, 04:39 AM

Dedicated to my last GF

Here i sit,
Broken hearted,

Thinking of you
Then i farted

MaxJoker · February 12th, 2009, 09:30 AM

Mvasilj the Rabbie Burns of his generation , whereas i am more your run of the mill Burning Rabbi , but enough about my hobbies and back to the job of trying to see things that wob-ble

I`m a gentleman
To that i`ll admit
One of honour and truth
Now do you swallow or spit

February 10th, 2009, 12:24 PM	#1
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Charming Ditties "N" Chat Up Lines Because what other reason do we send cards or for that matter give gifts or pay the check ? , i know i know i`m just a hopeless romantic. Anyway this thread is for those dopey ditties found in amazingly overpriced bits of folded paper , the ones that tell our beloved how we feel about them so we don`t personally have to .If you don`t know what i mean here are a few i`ve just thought of Roses are red Violets are blue I want us to quit Because i hate you Roses are pink Chickens lay eggs Since i got you this card Would you spread your legs Roses are red Lemons are zesty I slept with your sister Because she`s more chesty Oh and points will be awarded if you make up your own , but plagiarize and i`ll leave you alone __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

February 10th, 2009, 12:39 PM	#2
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,823 Times in 60,322 Posts	Roses are red Violets are blue You're so damn ugly You belong in a zoo __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

February 10th, 2009, 12:50 PM	#3
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,823 Times in 60,322 Posts	Here is another Bee's they hum You have a great bum, But don't fear my dear I'll just plough through your mum __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

February 10th, 2009, 01:05 PM	#5
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,823 Times in 60,322 Posts	Roses are red Violets are blue You're so smelly down there It's worse than my shoe __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

February 10th, 2009, 04:20 PM	#6
tobe2165 Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: in my very own cave,south-east of Brazil Posts: 4,107 Thanks: 15,711 Thanked 150,980 Times in 4,607 Posts	You are the sunshine of my life LSD makes me feel so fine I wanna stare at you till I got blind I don´t mind to wear shades all the time Now that you´re out of my sight I don´t have to turn off the light or drink five bottles of wine you´re disgusting but you´re mine Last edited by tobe2165; February 10th, 2009 at 04:26 PM..

February 10th, 2009, 12:51 PM	#4
beezer60 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 245 Thanks: 930 Thanked 9,642 Times in 241 Posts	Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Voilets are blue

February 11th, 2009, 07:35 AM	#7
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Some pretty cool ditties there fellow brother members , you know maybe we should start a jingle business. Hey stranger things have happened right ? , and as i always say if Jackson can have three albino kids then surely anything is possible. I mean we`ve even received our first testimonial from a satisfied customer Mr A Cuckold / No fixed abode " The ditties for titties system is truly amazing , i used it the night before tomorrow and saw a real live pair within seven short drinks , can`t thank you guys enough " Love can die if you keep on your guard Staying true is equally hard And why i give you this today Couldn`t get the money back on the card Goats enjoy straw Horses eat hay We were together last night Now i`ve turned gay Time spent with you Is really the pits That`s why i can`t go on And in the bath with slit wrists __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by MaxJoker; February 11th, 2009 at 08:22 AM.. Reason: Added another ditty , need more titty

February 12th, 2009, 03:16 AM	#8
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,823 Times in 60,322 Posts	Here i sit, Taking a shit, Tossing off, To a pic of your tit __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by Estreeter; February 12th, 2009 at 03:19 AM.. Reason: spelling

February 12th, 2009, 04:39 AM	#9
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,823 Times in 60,322 Posts	Dedicated to my last GF Here i sit, Broken hearted, Thinking of you Then i farted __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by Estreeter; February 12th, 2009 at 04:45 AM..

February 12th, 2009, 09:30 AM	#10
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Mvasilj the Rabbie Burns of his generation , whereas i am more your run of the mill Burning Rabbi , but enough about my hobbies and back to the job of trying to see things that wob-ble I`m a gentleman To that i`ll admit One of honour and truth Now do you swallow or spit __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by MaxJoker; February 12th, 2009 at 03:06 PM..

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