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June 14th, 2016, 03:34 PM | #11061 |
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Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator. You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round! |
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June 14th, 2016, 05:18 PM | #11062 |
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20:00 - Honey, what is more important to you - football or me?
22:50 - Of course you are! |
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June 14th, 2016, 11:27 PM | #11063 |
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I once went to a maths lecture about infinity. It just went on and on and on.....
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June 15th, 2016, 03:24 AM | #11064 |
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Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for more of or about her? Due to recent changes I will be limited on my reups lost most of my collection To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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June 15th, 2016, 09:54 AM | #11065 |
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At last, I've managed to track down DVDs of Horror of the Alien Moonies and Rampage of the Zombie Hare Krishnas. They're cult classics.
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June 15th, 2016, 10:51 AM | #11066 |
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A study on smoking found that it really shortens your cigarettes.
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June 15th, 2016, 10:55 AM | #11067 |
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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
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June 15th, 2016, 02:04 PM | #11068 |
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Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into." |
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June 15th, 2016, 02:14 PM | #11069 |
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My penis was always getting bullied. Then it learnt to stand up for itself.
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June 15th, 2016, 08:00 PM | #11070 |
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it used to be called a jumpoline before your mum got on one.
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