Post your corny jokes - Page 1107

**SanteeFats** · June 14th, 2016, 03:34 PM

Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator.

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

**Almero** · June 14th, 2016, 05:18 PM

20:00 - Honey, what is more important to you - football or me?
22:50 - Of course you are!

**gedly** · June 14th, 2016, 11:27 PM

I once went to a maths lecture about infinity. It just went on and on and on.....

**captpike** · June 15th, 2016, 03:24 AM

Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.

**gedly** · June 15th, 2016, 09:54 AM

At last, I've managed to track down DVDs of Horror of the Alien Moonies and Rampage of the Zombie Hare Krishnas. They're cult classics.

**bp666** · June 15th, 2016, 10:51 AM

A study on smoking found that it really shortens your cigarettes.

**bp666** · June 15th, 2016, 10:55 AM

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

**SanteeFats** · June 15th, 2016, 02:04 PM

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."

**gedly** · June 15th, 2016, 02:14 PM

My penis was always getting bullied. Then it learnt to stand up for itself.

**bp666** · June 15th, 2016, 08:00 PM

it used to be called a jumpoline before your mum got on one.

June 15th, 2016, 03:24 AM	#11064
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,303 Thanked 47,305 Times in 1,164 Posts	Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for more of or about her? Due to recent changes I will be limited on my reups lost most of my collection To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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June 14th, 2016, 03:34 PM	#11061
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,813 Thanks: 281,805 Thanked 813,769 Times in 60,861 Posts	Q: How do you count cows? A: With a cowculator. You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

June 14th, 2016, 05:18 PM	#11062
Almero Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: From Russia with love Posts: 1,432 Thanks: 13,926 Thanked 25,344 Times in 1,425 Posts	20:00 - Honey, what is more important to you - football or me? 22:50 - Of course you are!

June 14th, 2016, 11:27 PM	#11063
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,306 Times in 3,171 Posts	I once went to a maths lecture about infinity. It just went on and on and on.....

June 15th, 2016, 09:54 AM	#11065
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,306 Times in 3,171 Posts	At last, I've managed to track down DVDs of Horror of the Alien Moonies and Rampage of the Zombie Hare Krishnas. They're cult classics.

June 15th, 2016, 10:51 AM	#11066
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	A study on smoking found that it really shortens your cigarettes.

June 15th, 2016, 10:55 AM	#11067
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

June 15th, 2016, 02:04 PM	#11068
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,813 Thanks: 281,805 Thanked 813,769 Times in 60,861 Posts	Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."

June 15th, 2016, 02:14 PM	#11069
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,306 Times in 3,171 Posts	My penis was always getting bullied. Then it learnt to stand up for itself.

June 15th, 2016, 08:00 PM	#11070
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	it used to be called a jumpoline before your mum got on one.