Post your corny jokes - Page 839

**retroanalyst** · August 15th, 2014, 07:50 PM

Parents are worried about two things these days.

What their sons download.
What their daughters upload.

**tamsmith** · August 15th, 2014, 10:08 PM

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction.

**tamsmith** · August 15th, 2014, 10:08 PM

I went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedo" and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.

It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.

**tamsmith** · August 15th, 2014, 10:09 PM

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers so I did....she's 21 and her name's Lucy.

**tamsmith** · August 15th, 2014, 10:10 PM

Christmas is like any other day for me, sitting at the table with a big fat bird who doesn't gobble anymore.

**Jeff Vader** · August 16th, 2014, 11:13 AM

The papers are full of celebrities either killing themselves or being involved in ancient sex offences.

Thank god there are no wars or serious outbreaks of diseases they need to report on.

**Jonno71** · August 16th, 2014, 12:31 PM

That awkward moment when you spot a picture of your mother on the Readers Wives website.

That even more awkward moment when the picture of your mother has a bloke who isn't your father.

Capt Lethargy · August 16th, 2014, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tamsmith

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction.

The Pfizer Riser.

**SanteeFats** · August 16th, 2014, 04:38 PM

It seems the Clippers forced sale will go through. Donald Sterling paid 12 million for them and is getting 2 BILLION but he is not happy about it. It puts him in the black

**slisse** · August 17th, 2014, 09:12 AM

A couple went to a movie and noticed a man and his dog watching the film together.

They were especially amazed when they saw the dog laughing during the funny parts.

After the movie ended, the couple approached the unlikely pair.

The husband said, "I'm absolutely astonished. It seems as if your dog actually enjoyed the movie."

"I was a bit surprised myself" replied the dog's owner, "because he didn't like the book."

August 15th, 2014, 07:50 PM	#8381
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 121,989 Thanked 47,462 Times in 3,337 Posts	Parents are worried about two things these days. What their sons download. What their daughters upload. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

August 16th, 2014, 11:13 AM	#8386
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,020 Times in 6,511 Posts	The papers are full of celebrities either killing themselves or being involved in ancient sex offences. Thank god there are no wars or serious outbreaks of diseases they need to report on. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

August 17th, 2014, 09:12 AM	#8390
slisse Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: BE Posts: 2,405 Thanks: 32,668 Thanked 72,518 Times in 2,481 Posts	A couple went to a movie and noticed a man and his dog watching the film together. They were especially amazed when they saw the dog laughing during the funny parts. After the movie ended, the couple approached the unlikely pair. The husband said, "I'm absolutely astonished. It seems as if your dog actually enjoyed the movie." "I was a bit surprised myself" replied the dog's owner, "because he didn't like the book." __________________ Life is short, so try to make the best of it. If any of my links isn't working, please send me a PM so I can fix it. Thank you.

August 15th, 2014, 10:08 PM	#8382
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,413 Times in 9,078 Posts	Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction.

August 15th, 2014, 10:08 PM	#8383
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,413 Times in 9,078 Posts	I went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedo" and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.

August 15th, 2014, 10:09 PM	#8384
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,413 Times in 9,078 Posts	The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers so I did....she's 21 and her name's Lucy.

August 15th, 2014, 10:10 PM	#8385
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,413 Times in 9,078 Posts	Christmas is like any other day for me, sitting at the table with a big fat bird who doesn't gobble anymore.

August 16th, 2014, 12:31 PM	#8387
Jonno71 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Right here... Right now. Posts: 1,497 Thanks: 8,831 Thanked 75,959 Times in 1,503 Posts	That awkward moment when you spot a picture of your mother on the Readers Wives website. That even more awkward moment when the picture of your mother has a bloke who isn't your father.

August 16th, 2014, 04:38 PM	#8389
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,828 Thanks: 281,847 Thanked 813,894 Times in 60,875 Posts	It seems the Clippers forced sale will go through. Donald Sterling paid 12 million for them and is getting 2 BILLION but he is not happy about it. It puts him in the black