101 Big Dick Jokes

**Jeff Vader** · November 30th, 2011, 06:11 PM

Drew Carey's has a routine called 101 Big Dick Jokes - This is a classic comedy bit developed by Drew Carey. He planned to develop the 101 jokes into a dirty book with illustrations. He was going to publish it under the pen name "Ted Kennedy."

Drew Carey's 101 Big Dick Jokes - This is a classic comedy bit developed by Drew Carey. He planned to develop the 101 jokes into a dirty book with illustrations. He was going to publish it under the pen name "Ted Kennedy."

My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.

My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman.

My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.

My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.

My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.

My dick has an elevator and a lobby.

My dick has better credit than I do.

My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.

My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

My dick is so big, it has casters.

My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow.

My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.

My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

My dick is so big, it lives next door.

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

My dick is so big, it votes.

My dick is a better dresser than I am.

My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.

My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.

My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.

My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.

No matter where I go, my dick always gets there first.

My dick takes longer lunches than I do.

My dick contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Democratic National Committee.

My dick was once the ambassador to China.

My dick is so big, it's gone condo.

My dick was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn't want a bigger dick than himself.

My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.

It's so big, when it rains the head of my dick doesn't get wet.

My dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn't so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.

My dick is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper.

My dick is so big, it has feet.

My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.

My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.

My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.

My dick is so big, it has investors.

My dick is so big, it seats six.

My dick is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring.

My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.

My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.

My dick is so big, it has an opening act.

My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.

My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.

My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.

My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.

My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.

My dick is so big, it only plays arenas.

If you cut my dick in two, you can tell how old I am.

My dick was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurentis movie.

My dick is so big, it needs an airplane warning light.

My dick is so big, Trump owns it.

My dick is so big that we're all a part of it, and it's all a part of us.

My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row.

My dick is so big, it has its own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.

My dick is so big, you can't blow me without a ladder.

My dick is so big, it only does one show a night.

My dick is so big, you can ski down it.

My dick is so big, it has elbows.

My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.

My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.

My dick is so big, that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks.

My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome.

My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.

My dick is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.

My dick is so big, I could fuck a tuba.

My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.

My dick is so big, it has its own gravity

NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my dick.

My dick is so big, it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite.

The inside of my dick contains billions and billions of stars.

My dick is so big, it has a spine.

My dick is so big, it has a basement.

My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

My dick is more muscular than I am.

My dick is so big it has cable.

My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.

My dick is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar.

My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.

My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee.

My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

My dick is so big, I can braid it.

My dick is so big, that when it's Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls.

My dick is so big, I painted the foreskin red, white, and blue and used it as a flag.

My dick is so big, I can sit on it.

My dick is so big, it can chew gum.

My dick is so big, it only tips with hundreds.

My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.

My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.

My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.

My dick is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.

My dick is so big, you're standing on it.

My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.

My dick is so big, it plays golf with the president.

My dick is so big, it charges money for its autograph.

My dick is so big, it has an agent. My dick's people will call your people. Let's have lunch with my dick.

My dick is so big, it's right behind you

OK that's his list, can we come up with another 101 of our own ? Ideally original ones too

**Mal Hombre** · November 30th, 2011, 06:28 PM

My Dick is so big It's visible from Space.
My Dick is so big It's a member of the UN Security Council.

**Jeff Vader** · November 30th, 2011, 06:31 PM

My dick is so big it has bigger muscles than Schwarzenegger.

**tygrkhat40** · November 30th, 2011, 11:10 PM

My dick is so big, the Washington Monument is a scaled-down replica.

My dick is so big I can't swim in a river. I either get stuck in the riverbed or I get blocked by bridges.

**Mal Hombre** · December 1st, 2011, 06:38 PM

My dick is so big it scares Chuck Norris.

**luddite** · December 1st, 2011, 11:46 PM

I was urinating off a bridge when Mal Hombre eased up next to me, and started doing the same.
Staring off into space, he said " The water's cold."
"And deep." I replied

**Mal Hombre** · December 2nd, 2011, 01:29 PM

My Dick is so big it would make John Holmes cry..
My dick is so big it would turn George Michael straight....

**rustler** · December 4th, 2011, 11:15 AM

I'm not bragging, but.......

My dick is so big I can take part in the pole vault competition.........and don't need to use a pole!

**BustyWomenLovr** · December 5th, 2011, 04:14 AM

My dick is so big my girlfriend said I didn't need to own or drive a Corvette...

Knetic · December 6th, 2011, 09:46 AM

My dick is so big it has a brain and that brain demands it be called Richard.

My dick is so big it was blessed by the Pope.

My dick is so big premature ejaculation takes 90 minutes.

My dick is so big its in a boy band with four other big dicks.

My dick is so big it gets decorated at christams time.

My dick is so big it is the missing link.

My dick is so big it clubs walruses.

November 30th, 2011, 06:11 PM	#1
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	101 Big Dick Jokes Drew Carey's has a routine called 101 Big Dick Jokes - This is a classic comedy bit developed by Drew Carey. He planned to develop the 101 jokes into a dirty book with illustrations. He was going to publish it under the pen name "Ted Kennedy." Drew Carey's 101 Big Dick Jokes - This is a classic comedy bit developed by Drew Carey. He planned to develop the 101 jokes into a dirty book with illustrations. He was going to publish it under the pen name "Ted Kennedy." My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime. My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman. My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company. My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls. My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school. My dick has an elevator and a lobby. My dick has better credit than I do. My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum. My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick. My dick is so big, it has casters. My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow. My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor. My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick. My dick is so big, it lives next door. My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third. My dick is so big, it votes. My dick is a better dresser than I am. My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal. My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures. My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run. My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob. No matter where I go, my dick always gets there first. My dick takes longer lunches than I do. My dick contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Democratic National Committee. My dick was once the ambassador to China. My dick is so big, it's gone condo. My dick was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn't want a bigger dick than himself. My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler. It's so big, when it rains the head of my dick doesn't get wet. My dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn't so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself. My dick is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper. My dick is so big, it has feet. My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it. My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off. My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days. My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms. My dick is so big, it has investors. My dick is so big, it seats six. My dick is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring. My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole. My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake. My dick is so big, it has an opening act. My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft. My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box. My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings. My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through. My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse. My dick is so big, it only plays arenas. If you cut my dick in two, you can tell how old I am. My dick was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurentis movie. My dick is so big, it needs an airplane warning light. My dick is so big, Trump owns it. My dick is so big that we're all a part of it, and it's all a part of us. My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row. My dick is so big, it has its own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick. My dick is so big, you can't blow me without a ladder. My dick is so big, it only does one show a night. My dick is so big, you can ski down it. My dick is so big, it has elbows. My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly. My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer. My dick is so big, that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks. My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome. My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty. My dick is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear. My dick is so big, I could fuck a tuba. My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it. My dick is so big, it has its own gravity NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my dick. My dick is so big, it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite. The inside of my dick contains billions and billions of stars. My dick is so big, it has a spine. My dick is so big, it has a basement. My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick. My dick is more muscular than I am. My dick is so big it has cable. My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws. My dick is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar. My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line. My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee. My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free. My dick is so big, I can braid it. My dick is so big, that when it's Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls. My dick is so big, I painted the foreskin red, white, and blue and used it as a flag. My dick is so big, I can sit on it. My dick is so big, it can chew gum. My dick is so big, it only tips with hundreds. My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches. My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement. My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it. My dick is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck. My dick is so big, you're standing on it. My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it. My dick is so big, it plays golf with the president. My dick is so big, it charges money for its autograph. My dick is so big, it has an agent. My dick's people will call your people. Let's have lunch with my dick. My dick is so big, it's right behind you OK that's his list, can we come up with another 101 of our own ? Ideally original ones too __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

November 30th, 2011, 06:28 PM	#2
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,791 Thanked 855,865 Times in 57,575 Posts	My Dick is so big It's visible from Space. My Dick is so big It's a member of the UN Security Council. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by Mal Hombre; November 30th, 2011 at 07:26 PM..

November 30th, 2011, 06:31 PM	#3
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	My dick is so big it has bigger muscles than Schwarzenegger. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

November 30th, 2011, 11:10 PM	#4
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 152,630 Times in 9,629 Posts	My dick is so big, the Washington Monument is a scaled-down replica. My dick is so big I can't swim in a river. I either get stuck in the riverbed or I get blocked by bridges. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 1st, 2011, 06:38 PM	#5
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,791 Thanked 855,865 Times in 57,575 Posts	My dick is so big it scares Chuck Norris. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 1st, 2011, 11:46 PM	#6
luddite Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: N.D.G. Posts: 1,375 Thanks: 104,140 Thanked 12,286 Times in 1,336 Posts	I was urinating off a bridge when Mal Hombre eased up next to me, and started doing the same. Staring off into space, he said " The water's cold." "And deep." I replied __________________ *Meanwhile, back at the oasis, the arabs were eating their dates...*

December 2nd, 2011, 01:29 PM	#7
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,791 Thanked 855,865 Times in 57,575 Posts	My Dick is so big it would make John Holmes cry.. My dick is so big it would turn George Michael straight.... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 4th, 2011, 11:15 AM	#8
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	I'm not bragging, but....... My dick is so big I can take part in the pole vault competition.........and don't need to use a pole! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by rustler; December 4th, 2011 at 11:16 AM.. Reason: Spelling

December 5th, 2011, 04:14 AM	#9
BustyWomenLovr Vintage Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 2,750 Thanks: 20,513 Thanked 43,170 Times in 2,674 Posts	My dick is so big my girlfriend said I didn't need to own or drive a Corvette... __________________ There is no such thing as too big a bust.

December 6th, 2011, 09:46 AM	#10
Knetic Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: This little country of many Posts: 112 Thanks: 1,695 Thanked 1,431 Times in 103 Posts	My dick is so big it has a brain and that brain demands it be called Richard. My dick is so big it was blessed by the Pope. My dick is so big premature ejaculation takes 90 minutes. My dick is so big its in a boy band with four other big dicks. My dick is so big it gets decorated at christams time. My dick is so big it is the missing link. My dick is so big it clubs walruses.