Grand Rear Admiral MaxJoker`s Non Conformist Confessional Church Thread - Page 59

Estreeter · January 3rd, 2016, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andw

Can I get a "Yemen"?

No

Had you asked with the correct grammar "May I"

You would have received

But you didn't

The Grand Cardinal will have to take this issue up

**Tmee2020** · January 4th, 2016, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

Truly,Thou art an abomination unto The Lord,Yea verily,Thy place will be in the valley of desolation,Where there is naught but wailing and the gnashing of teeth.
...

And if you don't have any, teeth will be provided.

Estreeter · February 21st, 2016, 01:32 PM

Forgive me Grand Cardinal for I am sinning as I type

This is one my desk and am eating the devils own recipe

**scoundrel** · March 12th, 2016, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

Forgive me Grand Cardinal for I am sinning as I type

This is one my desk and am eating the devils own recipe

Provided that the motivation was pure (for example to reactivate bowel movements and create space for more pizza) then this is a venal rather than a cardinal sin and absolution can be granted.

Wear three hail pizzas.

Estreeter · March 12th, 2016, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scoundrel

Provided that the motivation was pure

Pure

Me

Hell no

Moment of stupidity would be much closer to the mark

MaxJoker · March 12th, 2016, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake Gittes

Forgive me, but last night in a moment of sheer agony, I resorted to tearing the tag on my bed mattress, then, on closer observation, realized that I had broken the law

Worry not ye fellow ridged religious icon Jake

As did it never say in paragraph sixty nine on page eighty seven thousand in the V.E.F book of raving rampant revelations

"Tis better to break the law for a good nights kip, than follow the uncomfortable "Rules" and stay awake with a distracting mattress tag, digging into you, like a total gimp "

Quote:

Originally Posted by sandhunter

Jake I don`t think that Grand Cardinal Rear Admiral MaxJoker`s Non Conformist Confessional Church can help as word on the street he is being defrocked as we speak

Hey
At best at most at worst
Was deloused
But then more fool me for agreeing to partake of tea and slim (No relation) slice of cake (That he charged me ten Scotch quids for ) at Fleetwoods house

MaxJoker · November 27th, 2016, 04:40 PM

Although have a Mod fearing honest excuse !.
Me , the other Cardinals and Bishops have been bravely nay courageously (Some might say) recovering in Monaco for months
Uh huh
Recovering from shock , strain and stress
In various expensive hotels , with expensive hand maidens who also joined us in various casinos.
So best we could contemplate and recover from the loss of the church we built thanks to those hundreds of thousands of pounds you open heartily donated

Yes a church in the finest tradition

Only thing is it wasn't insured
Who can say what happened
Petrol cans along with a book of matches were ok found at the scene,
Plus several (Mod-less) eye witnesses claimed that somebody who looked like me danced around the flames drinking cans of Tanglefoot until our church was nothing butt embers.

Exactly whatever happened and whomever was behind it , will remain forever a mystery

Yet what`s important right now is that you all dig deep into the pockets of the nearest person you can mug , and give give give once more.

That our church can rise again only better-er-er

So hath it been typed , so let it be

Blessings be up you all

MaxJoker · January 18th, 2017, 05:30 PM

I`d like to apologise here and now Fellow Fanatical Followers of the one true V.E.F faith for my tardiness in not posting here sooner

Only given I`m infallible , there`s no need to apologise really

Huzzah

This post was brought to you by Muhammad`s meaty munch-ables, Mmmmmmm taste that porky goodness ,

"It`d be a sin not to "

**Mal Hombre** · January 18th, 2017, 05:50 PM

Also By "Mal's Extra Crunchy Communion Wafers",Available in a whole Host of flavours..
Our Lord never tasted so good..

MaxJoker · March 26th, 2017, 04:44 PM

Apple-Loogies Fellow Forum Flockers of the one true V.E.F faith

Been remiss in my religious updates for ages

I know, I know

Butt only went into hiding after being hounded coming out of Amber Heard`s hotel room some weeks back.

Not that I didn't spend the night with her for any other reason than spiritual guidance

Because I didn't

All the same the angle those photographers caught me at as I left (Drained ... Ahem ... Emotionally) embarrassed me greatly

As was only flushed due to giving all I had in helping Amber come, to terms with her inner demons

Anyway what I`m typing about is I`ll try to be more regular from now on

Certainly since Grand Marshal Cardinal Mal recommended prune juice senna pod smoothies each morning.

So far they`re working a treat

"This post was brought to you by ,

Mmmmmm now that`s a fatwa worth it`s weight in tasty flavour "

February 21st, 2016, 01:32 PM	#583
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,145 Thanks: 449,888 Thanked 897,037 Times in 60,347 Posts	Forgive me Grand Cardinal for I am sinning as I type This is one my desk and am eating the devils own recipe __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 27th, 2016, 04:40 PM	#587
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,605 Times in 69,067 Posts	Now I know , I said I know , I have been a mite remiss in not keeping this here hallowed thread up to date Fellow Parishioners Of The righteous Forum faith Although have a Mod fearing honest excuse !. Me , the other Cardinals and Bishops have been bravely nay courageously (Some might say) recovering in Monaco for months Uh huh Recovering from shock , strain and stress In various expensive hotels , with expensive hand maidens who also joined us in various casinos. So best we could contemplate and recover from the loss of the church we built thanks to those hundreds of thousands of pounds you open heartily donated Yes a church in the finest tradition Only thing is it wasn't insured Who can say what happened Petrol cans along with a book of matches were ok found at the scene, Plus several (Mod-less) eye witnesses claimed that somebody who looked like me danced around the flames drinking cans of Tanglefoot until our church was nothing butt embers. Exactly whatever happened and whomever was behind it , will remain forever a mystery Yet what`s important right now is that you all dig deep into the pockets of the nearest person you can mug , and give give give once more. That our church can rise again only better-er-er So hath it been typed , so let it be Blessings be up you all __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 18th, 2017, 05:30 PM	#588
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,605 Times in 69,067 Posts	Hey I've been busy taking the "Popes" confession .. Exactly. Who knew the kinky sod had been balls deep up to so much ! I`d like to apologise here and now Fellow Fanatical Followers of the one true V.E.F faith for my tardiness in not posting here sooner Only given I`m infallible , there`s no need to apologise really Huzzah This post was brought to you by Muhammad`s meaty munch-ables, Mmmmmmm taste that porky goodness , "It`d be a sin not to " __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 18th, 2017, 05:50 PM	#589
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,791 Thanked 855,886 Times in 57,575 Posts	Also By "Mal's Extra Crunchy Communion Wafers",Available in a whole Host of flavours.. Our Lord never tasted so good.. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 26th, 2017, 04:44 PM	#590
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,605 Times in 69,067 Posts	- Amen - Apple-Loogies Fellow Forum Flockers of the one true V.E.F faith Been remiss in my religious updates for ages I know, I know Butt only went into hiding after being hounded coming out of Amber Heard`s hotel room some weeks back. Not that I didn't spend the night with her for any other reason than spiritual guidance Because I didn't All the same the angle those photographers caught me at as I left (Drained ... Ahem ... Emotionally) embarrassed me greatly As was only flushed due to giving all I had in helping Amber come, to terms with her inner demons Anyway what I`m typing about is I`ll try to be more regular from now on Certainly since Grand Marshal Cardinal Mal recommended prune juice senna pod smoothies each morning. So far they`re working a treat "This post was brought to you by , Mmmmmm now that`s a fatwa worth it`s weight in tasty flavour " __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.