Stupid movie cliches and impossibilities - Page 91

**Reclaimedwg** · May 1st, 2013, 10:12 AM

Back to my comment in the above post:

http://vintage-erotica-forum.com/sho...&postcount=898

what do you and I usually do if we are somewhere we are not supposed to be and we hear people coming?

We freeze up!

Same as if we get caught and someone asks us: "What are you doing here? Who are you?"

We stutter! Our eyes start shifting and darting rapidly and we can't make eye contact! We start to sweat! Our legs start shaking! etc etc

In the movies and TV shows, the characters are always quick thinking on their toes and have the time to unscrew an AC vent cover or a ceiling tile and climb away in the 1 minute or less it takes the enemy to enter the room they are in.

**TCO95** · May 1st, 2013, 08:05 PM

Shows like 24 and Criminal Minds that have computer genius' working for them that can access ANY information at a moments notice. Medical records, no problem, adoption records, consider it done, sealed criminal records, being sent to your Blackberry's right now. Give me a break. Solve a crime by stealing private information and the case will be tossed and the criminal sent home faster than you can say Pentium.

Not to mention they can re-aim security cameras both public and private, satellite feeds including NASA and the military, they can even access computer cameras on private networks. Access a military satellite, no matter who you are, and your address will be Guantanamo Bay.

**Reclaimedwg** · May 2nd, 2013, 12:36 AM

Criminal Minds is a big offender and pet peeve with me.

That annoying Garcia woman can access surveillance cameras feeds.

I have surveillance cameras at my job:

they go straight to a recorder by a regular RCA/RF cable.

They are not on any computer network or transmitted by Wi-Fi or satellite.

If my job was on a Criminal Minds, she will be able to access all the recorded videos which is BS!

She can also pull up medical records and properties sales records from 1900, all neatly scanned and legible on microfiche... SURE! SURE!

Criminal Minds is just one of the many movies and TV shows that insults my intelligence like that!

Heck, a year ago my nephew got locked out of his computer.

Something got his password changed and he couldn't get in.

Microsoft support couldn't fix it.

I couldn't do it and a friend of mine who is an I.T./Computer wiz couldn't fix it either.

The fix was to reinstall Windows.

Do some of these Hollywood writers think they audience today are so stupid and gullible.

**DTravel** · May 2nd, 2013, 03:43 AM

Characters in gunfights hiding behind trash cans, inside thin sided trailers, etc. and the bullets don't penetrate. Bullets that if they hit someone can throw them 30 feet thru the air can't penetrate 1/32 of an inch of flimsy near tinfoil? The kind of stuff that people keep accidentally poking holes in by tripping and stumbling against it?

**Jeff Vader** · May 2nd, 2013, 05:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DTravel

Characters in gunfights hiding behind trash cans, inside thin sided trailers, etc. and the bullets don't penetrate. Bullets that if they hit someone can throw them 30 feet thru the air can't penetrate 1/32 of an inch of flimsy near tinfoil? The kind of stuff that people keep accidentally poking holes in by tripping and stumbling against it?

That and people being flung backwards when shot. Unless its something big like a bazooka shell the sheer difference is mass makes this impossible.

**gmcbee** · May 12th, 2013, 08:30 PM

Here's one I haven't seen, but it could work in a black comedy heist movie. Maybe it's been done already. If so, mention it if you would! Thanks!

You're in an abandoned oilfield miles from nowhere at O dark thirty, looking for the duffel bag with $10,000,000 in it. It's as dark and quiet as a grave. A pissed off Bruce Willis and pals are looking for you. You find the bag, get back to your car, press the button on the remote. The lights flash and BEE-DOO-BEEP!

**gmcbee** · May 12th, 2013, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff Vader

That and people being flung backwards when shot. Unless its something big like a bazooka shell the sheer difference is mass makes this impossible.

In reality, it's usually just the minimal mass of your lungs being blown out through your spine.

**TheNewNumber2** · May 12th, 2013, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DTravel

Characters in gunfights hiding behind trash cans, inside thin sided trailers, etc. and the bullets don't penetrate. Bullets that if they hit someone can throw them 30 feet thru the air can't penetrate 1/32 of an inch of flimsy near tinfoil? The kind of stuff that people keep accidentally poking holes in by tripping and stumbling against it?

I just watched a movie the other day (I think it was that crummy movie version of The Sweeney) with that going on. Bullets were hitting a door right next to a guy's head, or a pile of wooden pallets somebody was hiding behind but, hey, there were safe because they were behind a quarter-inch of wood.

In a similar vein, how about when a guy can't hit a target the size of a person, but manages to shoot something really small out of their hand?

I just watched Total Recall (a movie I love) last night and always have thought it ridiculous that during the car chase through the tunnels of Mars, when Arnie & Richter are unloading on each other with machine pistols, they can't actually hit each other, but Arnie manages to shoot the gun out of Richter's hand.

Even worse is Die Hard 2 (another movie I love), during McLane's fight with the two mercs in the baggage area near the beginning of the movie. The bad guys blaze away at him and manage to hit everybody BUT McLane. Then, when he sprays the one guy in the face with a can of hairspray, the other guy shoots the can out of McLane's hands from about 50 yards away. If his aim was so good, why didn't he hit him earlier? Hell, if his aim was so good, why didn't he just shoot McLane instead of the tiny, little can?

**TheNewNumber2** · May 12th, 2013, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff Vader

That and people being flung backwards when shot. Unless its something big like a bazooka shell the sheer difference is mass makes this impossible.

I remember reading in a book once--I think it was David Simon's Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets--that even though simple physics makes it impossible to knock someone back with a bullet, people who get shot will actually subconsciously throw themselves backwards because, after seeing it in movies, their brain thinks that's what's supposed to happen.

kennyjackson · May 13th, 2013, 12:54 AM

One cliche is all the wire work being done in movies these days. One person punches another and the victim flies twenty feet into the air and lands - usually ready to resume the fight. Come on. A blow of that much force would break the hand of the person throwing the punch or go through the body of the person being hit. I can see those kinds of things in a movie where such a thing is explained., e.g., The Matrix but even in movies where presumably the laws of physics and kinetics still apply this is being done all the time now. People are not cartoons. What next people's heads flattening when they get hit with a frying pan? People falling out of tall buildings and their bodies becoming misshapen like an accordion.

On a slightly related note, I was watching the part of Spiderman 2 the other day where Dr. Octopus hurls Peter Parker into a brick wall from about 20 feet away. Dr. Oc was angry cause he couldn't find Spider-Man. Wouldn't that have told him that Parker was probably Spider-Man if he got up and walked away from that uninjured?

May 2nd, 2013, 03:43 AM	#904
DTravel Lean Mean Screencap Machine Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Better you don't know. Posts: 23,804 Thanks: 10,480 Thanked 207,303 Times in 23,713 Posts	Characters in gunfights hiding behind trash cans, inside thin sided trailers, etc. and the bullets don't penetrate. Bullets that if they hit someone can throw them 30 feet thru the air can't penetrate 1/32 of an inch of flimsy near tinfoil? The kind of stuff that people keep accidentally poking holes in by tripping and stumbling against it? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I rage and weep for my country. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I can reup screencaps, other material might have been lost.

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May 1st, 2013, 10:12 AM	#901
Reclaimedwg Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3,414 Thanks: 7,709 Thanked 26,946 Times in 3,089 Posts	Back to my comment in the above post: http://vintage-erotica-forum.com/sho...&postcount=898 what do you and I usually do if we are somewhere we are not supposed to be and we hear people coming? We freeze up! Same as if we get caught and someone asks us: "What are you doing here? Who are you?" We stutter! Our eyes start shifting and darting rapidly and we can't make eye contact! We start to sweat! Our legs start shaking! etc etc In the movies and TV shows, the characters are always quick thinking on their toes and have the time to unscrew an AC vent cover or a ceiling tile and climb away in the 1 minute or less it takes the enemy to enter the room they are in.

May 1st, 2013, 08:05 PM	#902
TCO95 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: This member is not allowed in your country. Posts: 5,176 Thanks: 47,615 Thanked 64,803 Times in 5,130 Posts	Shows like 24 and Criminal Minds that have computer genius' working for them that can access ANY information at a moments notice. Medical records, no problem, adoption records, consider it done, sealed criminal records, being sent to your Blackberry's right now. Give me a break. Solve a crime by stealing private information and the case will be tossed and the criminal sent home faster than you can say Pentium. Not to mention they can re-aim security cameras both public and private, satellite feeds including NASA and the military, they can even access computer cameras on private networks. Access a military satellite, no matter who you are, and your address will be Guantanamo Bay.

May 2nd, 2013, 12:36 AM	#903
Reclaimedwg Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3,414 Thanks: 7,709 Thanked 26,946 Times in 3,089 Posts	Criminal Minds is a big offender and pet peeve with me. That annoying Garcia woman can access surveillance cameras feeds. I have surveillance cameras at my job: they go straight to a recorder by a regular RCA/RF cable. They are not on any computer network or transmitted by Wi-Fi or satellite. If my job was on a Criminal Minds, she will be able to access all the recorded videos which is BS! She can also pull up medical records and properties sales records from 1900, all neatly scanned and legible on microfiche... SURE! SURE! Criminal Minds is just one of the many movies and TV shows that insults my intelligence like that! Heck, a year ago my nephew got locked out of his computer. Something got his password changed and he couldn't get in. Microsoft support couldn't fix it. I couldn't do it and a friend of mine who is an I.T./Computer wiz couldn't fix it either. The fix was to reinstall Windows. Do some of these Hollywood writers think they audience today are so stupid and gullible.

May 12th, 2013, 08:30 PM	#906
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	Here's one I haven't seen, but it could work in a black comedy heist movie. Maybe it's been done already. If so, mention it if you would! Thanks! You're in an abandoned oilfield miles from nowhere at O dark thirty, looking for the duffel bag with $10,000,000 in it. It's as dark and quiet as a grave. A pissed off Bruce Willis and pals are looking for you. You find the bag, get back to your car, press the button on the remote. The lights flash and BEE-DOO-BEEP!

May 13th, 2013, 12:54 AM	#910
kennyjackson Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 398 Thanks: 465 Thanked 3,770 Times in 380 Posts	One cliche is all the wire work being done in movies these days. One person punches another and the victim flies twenty feet into the air and lands - usually ready to resume the fight. Come on. A blow of that much force would break the hand of the person throwing the punch or go through the body of the person being hit. I can see those kinds of things in a movie where such a thing is explained., e.g., The Matrix but even in movies where presumably the laws of physics and kinetics still apply this is being done all the time now. People are not cartoons. What next people's heads flattening when they get hit with a frying pan? People falling out of tall buildings and their bodies becoming misshapen like an accordion. On a slightly related note, I was watching the part of Spiderman 2 the other day where Dr. Octopus hurls Peter Parker into a brick wall from about 20 feet away. Dr. Oc was angry cause he couldn't find Spider-Man. Wouldn't that have told him that Parker was probably Spider-Man if he got up and walked away from that uninjured?