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Old 03-08-2018, 03:44 AM   #13421
effCup
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Originally Posted by BCFC_1982 View Post
Do we need an epic joke thread?
Perhaps it's part of the over-zealous rule-setters thread?
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Old 03-08-2018, 04:35 AM   #13422
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A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they’re at sea for so long.
“Let me show you,” says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there’s a solitary barrel with a hole in it.
“This’ll be the best s.x you’ll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I’ll give you some privacy.”
The recruit doesn’t quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.
“Wow! That was the best s.x I’ve ever had! I want to do it every day!”
“Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday.”
“Why not Thursday?”
“That’s your day in the barrel.”
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Old 03-08-2018, 07:39 AM   #13423
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Originally Posted by effCup View Post
Perhaps it's part of the over-zealous rule-setters thread?
Thatís true. We have one such thread that is titled effcup.
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Old 03-08-2018, 02:53 PM   #13424
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A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries. "Sounds great," said the health -conscious boy. He ordered some. He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container.

"Wait a minute," the boy said. "Those don't look fat-free." "Sure they are", the cook said. "We charge only for the potatoes. The fat is free!"
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"Oh, no!" the kangaroo groaned to her friend, the rabbit. "The forecast calls for rain." "What's the problem with that?" asked the rabbit. "We could use some rain."

"Sure," the kangaroo said. "But that means my kids will have to play inside all day!"
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Old 03-08-2018, 02:57 PM   #13425
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Q: How do you stop black children from jumping up and down on the bed.

A: Put velcro on the ceiling!
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Old 03-08-2018, 05:08 PM   #13426
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Originally Posted by bfg9000 View Post
Q: How do you stop black children from jumping up and down on the bed.

A: Put velcro on the ceiling!

Q: How do you get them down from the ceiling?

A: Give some Latino kids a stick and tell them "The're Pinatas."
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:28 AM   #13427
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Comic Sans walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Get out - we don't serve your type."
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Old 03-09-2018, 08:27 AM   #13428
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Comic Sans walks into a church,

The Vicar says "Get out - we don't need a new font..."
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Old 03-09-2018, 12:55 PM   #13429
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Smile

A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day. Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing two heavy parkas on such a hot day.

The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: "For best results, put on two coats."
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A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around waving his arms wildly. "Captain," one passenger asks, "who is that man over there?" "I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."
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A man walks into a library, approaches the librarian and says, "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries , please." The librarian says, "Sir, you know you're in a library, right?" 'Sorry," he whispers. "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please."
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:12 PM   #13430
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A Higgs-Bosun particle shows up in the Sistine Chapel. The Pope asks "What are you doing here?"
"Without me, you can't have mass."

(not Einstein and not the Pope)
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Last edited by rondori; 03-10-2018 at 03:50 AM.. Reason: spelling
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