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Old 02-02-2018, 10:59 AM   #13271
machman
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A rich 90 year old man, married a gold digger 20 years old.
On their honeymoon night, the old man pulls out a Durex sheath.
"Surely you don't need one of those at your age"? she asked.
No he say's " it's just I like the smell of rubber burning"
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Old 02-02-2018, 11:23 AM   #13272
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Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled?
Because if they were small, white and round they would be an Aspirin

What's the difference between an elephant and a mail box?
If you don't know I wouldn't trust you to post any mail

What comes in pints?
An elephant

Why do you never see elephants sitting in cherry trees?
They cunningly paint their toenails red to disguise themselves

How do elephants get down from cherry trees?
They sit on a leaf and wait until autumn

Why do crocodiles have flat heads?
They sit under cherry trees in the autumn.
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Old 02-02-2018, 07:17 PM   #13273
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Pay day loan companies? I'm just so indebted to them.
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Old 02-02-2018, 08:30 PM   #13274
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Did you hear about the young newlyweds who didn't know the difference between putty and Vaseline? All their windows fell out.
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Old 02-03-2018, 01:11 AM   #13275
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Celebrated Groundhog Day today by eating sausage.
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Old 02-03-2018, 04:46 PM   #13276
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Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?

They have no body to love.
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Old 02-03-2018, 05:16 PM   #13277
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Hollywood - the only place where you can get a hamburger and a hand-job at the same location.
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it's not tasty.
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Old 02-03-2018, 05:18 PM   #13278
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Fide View Post
The President of the United States of America is Donald Trump.
Why do you force me to push the thank you button.
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Old 02-03-2018, 05:22 PM   #13279
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Why do you Love prostitutes?
Because they have such gorgeous teeth!
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Old 02-03-2018, 05:25 PM   #13280
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silklover View Post
Hollywood - the only place where you can get a hamburger and a hand-job at the same location.
Ah yes, Planet Hollywood.
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