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Old 01-28-2018, 10:30 PM   #13251
captain fanta
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Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Doubledecker. It was After Eight. They got off at Quality Street. He asked her name
'Polo, I'm the one with the hole'. She said with a Wispa.
'I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts'. He replied. He touched her creme eggs and put his hand into her Snickers. He fondled her flapjacks and she rubbed his tic tacs. It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight and he shot his chewy centre. But 3 days later his Sherbert Dibdab started to itch. Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he's got ****in Allsorts.
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Old 01-28-2018, 11:13 PM   #13252
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captain fanta View Post
Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Doubledecker. It was After Eight. They got off at Quality Street. He asked her name
'Polo, I'm the one with the hole'. She said with a Wispa.
'I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts'. He replied. He touched her creme eggs and put his hand into her Snickers. He fondled her flapjacks and she rubbed his tic tacs. It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight and he shot his chewy centre. But 3 days later his Sherbert Dibdab started to itch. Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he's got ****in Allsorts.
Someone get this man a glucose drip STAT!
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Old 01-28-2018, 11:32 PM   #13253
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The Oscars:
This year's film of the year.
Is:
Clean....Clean Film.
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Old 01-28-2018, 11:34 PM   #13254
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 01-28-2018, 11:51 PM   #13255
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My son is named after my idol.
His name is Billy.
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Old 01-29-2018, 12:08 AM   #13256
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My wife was impressed when I asked her to a wife swapping party. She however seemed a bit annoyed because I swapped her for a 40 piece socket set.
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Old 01-29-2018, 11:26 AM   #13257
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Wanting more productivity , my boss put up one of those management motivational posters , saying “nothing is impossible”
So not to disappoint him and achieve the impossible, I followed his advice, and did nothing all day.
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Old 01-29-2018, 12:30 PM   #13258
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Originally Posted by machman View Post
I followed his advice, and did nothing all day.
Most people really struggle to do nothing all day. They feel impelled to breathe.
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Old 01-29-2018, 07:39 PM   #13259
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Quote:
Originally Posted by effCup View Post
Most people really struggle to do nothing all day. They feel impelled to breathe.
That's nothing short of inspirational.
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:32 PM   #13260
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Why do elephants have big ears?
Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.


What do Henry the Eighth and Billy the Kid have in common?
They both have the same middle name.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Roger Moore
Roger Moore who?
Forgotten him already!
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