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Old 01-28-2018, 11:51 PM   #13241
ball7
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My son is named after my idol.
His name is Billy.
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Old 01-29-2018, 12:08 AM   #13242
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My wife was impressed when I asked her to a wife swapping party. She however seemed a bit annoyed because I swapped her for a 40 piece socket set.
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Old 01-29-2018, 11:26 AM   #13243
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Wanting more productivity , my boss put up one of those management motivational posters , saying “nothing is impossible”
So not to disappoint him and achieve the impossible, I followed his advice, and did nothing all day.
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Old 01-29-2018, 12:30 PM   #13244
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Quote:
Originally Posted by machman View Post
I followed his advice, and did nothing all day.
Most people really struggle to do nothing all day. They feel impelled to breathe.
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Old 01-29-2018, 07:39 PM   #13245
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Quote:
Originally Posted by effCup View Post
Most people really struggle to do nothing all day. They feel impelled to breathe.
That's nothing short of inspirational.
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:32 PM   #13246
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Why do elephants have big ears?
Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.


What do Henry the Eighth and Billy the Kid have in common?
They both have the same middle name.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Roger Moore
Roger Moore who?
Forgotten him already!
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:28 AM   #13247
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When I die, I want this person who wrote this, to write my obituary also:
http://www.geisenfuneralhome.com/mem...ser_id=2064544
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I love your thanks, but please thank original posters first, then me.
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Old 01-30-2018, 07:37 PM   #13248
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My wife asked me why I never bought her jewellery.

To be fair, I never knew she was selling jewellery.
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Old 01-30-2018, 08:49 PM   #13249
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What do you call a singing Laptop?

A Dell
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Old 01-30-2018, 09:31 PM   #13250
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"My wife got so corny last night."
"Horny"
"No, Corny. She kept telling me corny jokes so I wouldn't get horny"
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